Preventive Maintenance
by deepfriedcake
Summary: The sequel to Captain Pickup. Lorelai and Luke take a stab at getting their middle, and I take aim at fixing all of their problems.
1. Written Under Some Cold, Dead Rocks

**Author's Notes:** This story begins with the date arranged at the end of Captain Pickup. This is a sequel, a continuation of that story. I realized that because of where I pinned that tale in relation to the show, I had an amazing chance to step in and fix some things for our favorite couple before everything went completely off the rails. Even though this is following in the footsteps of Captain Pickup, it's going to be a little darker in tone, and angst will definitely make some appearances as Lorelai and Luke battle to find their middle. Even though this story will follow the general timeline and events as portrayed in the show, don't be surprised if different people pop into a scene rather than the ones you expect, or if familiar words are uttered by a different character. As for the rating, I'm going to try to keep this as a "T," but I'm already seeing that it might be necessary to bump this up as chapters (and their relationship) progress.

Thanks to all of you who welcomed me back! I'm sorry that I'm not able to reply to those of you who log in as guests, but I wish I could. And as always, thanks to my brilliant and encouraging beta,** Eledgy**, who always manages to ask just the right questions.**  
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* * *

**Written Under Some Cold, Dead Rocks**

Lorelai's eyes flicked over to the clock beside her bed, which was turned so she could see its bright red numerals from her dressing table. It was Saturday night, the Saturday night of what could possibly be the most important date of her life, and if her clock could be believed, that date was scheduled to start in approximately eight minutes.

Eight minutes still to go and here she sat, with makeup on, hair acceptably tamed, and the winning clothing choices already fastened upon her body. _Inconceivable_, she heard Vizzini from the Princess Bride say in her head. She continued to sit in front of the mirror, staring at herself, feeling the butterflies and nerves dancing together in her tummy. She kept telling herself it was a date, just a date, but the butterflies completely disagreed and kept dive-bombing a sensitive spot underneath the fourth rib on her left side.

A noise from outside made her head jerk. She rushed to the window and saw Captain Pickup settling into a spot beside the Jeep. Quickly she pushed up the window.

"Hey there, Mr. Punctuality!"

Luke looked up, spotting her at the window. "Why doesn't it surprise me that you're not ready yet?"

Lorelai stepped to the side, so he couldn't see that she_ was_ dressed and ready to go. "The door's open. Come on in, make yourself at home. I'll be down in just a minute!"

"Right," Luke seemed to scoff, but he gave her an easy wave and headed for the front door.

Before she pulled down the window, Lorelai sucked in a deep breath of the fresh spring air, hoping it would help to calm her uncharacteristic pre-date nerves. She dabbed on one more spot of perfume and flipped her straightened hair back behind her shoulders. Not able to think of anything else to primp, she reluctantly moved away from the mirror and headed downstairs.

Luke hadn't sat down. He was standing in front of the fireplace, staring gloomily into its dirty depths. "When was the last time this thing was cleaned out?" he asked, sounding cranky.

"Um, I don't know. When was the last time you did it?"

"I don't think I've ever cleaned it out. That's why I'm asking."

Lorelai nodded. "There's your answer, then. If you haven't done it, it's never been done. Unless there are some sort of magic fireplace fairies that come in and remove ashes and soot while homeowners sleep."

Luke sighed irritably. "I'll put it on the list, then. Don't want this whole place to go up in flames the next time you and Rory decide to camp out in the living room and burn hot dogs in the fireplace."

"We don't _burn_ hot dogs," Lorelai replied, a little curtly. "The best hot dogs have a nice charcoal sear on them. Everyone knows that. I'm amazed you don't, since you run a diner and all."

"Customers tend to send back _burned_ hot dogs," Luke refuted. "Which cuts into my profits, so I try to avoid that. Plus, not everyone likes to crunch through that crispy carcinogenic layer."

"I'm unique. Got it." Lorelai snapped, before remembering that the point of this night was not to spar with Luke over food preferences. She took a breath, striving for calmness. "Anyway, it will be months before we'll want a fire again. There's plenty of time to get the fireplace cleaned out."

"You should get the chimney inspected, too."

At that, Lorelai nodded. "You know, my dad mentioned that one time. I just never got around to doing it."

"Well, you should." Luke stopped scowling at the dirty bricks lining the fireplace opening and looked at her. Instead of irritation, his face now looked concerned. "Your dad's right. He probably knows how many houses burn down because of that stuff that builds up in the chimney. He'd probably sleep better, knowing it's been taken care of."

Lorelai smiled, now understanding that Luke wasn't really worried about how well Richard Gilmore slept at night. A feeling of warm affection flooded over her again, just like the one preceding the epiphany she'd experienced in the diner a few days ago; the one that had led to this date in the first place. "Well, we certainly wouldn't want my dad to worry. Do you think Tom would have a name of a chimney sweep if I ask him? Or should I hold out for Dick Van Dyke?"

"I could ask around, if you want me to," Luke offered.

"I want," Lorelai confirmed, still smiling. "So, let's start this out again." She reached over, gently tugging on Luke's shirt sleeve. "Hi."

He blinked once and then seemed to realize where he was and what was going on. He grinned, shrugging his shoulders at his initial grumpiness. "Hi," he said in return.

"You look nice," she told him. Her eyes approved of everything she saw. The jeans looked new, the blue long-sleeved shirt wasn't flannel or plaid, and the hair, free for once from the tyranny of the hat, looked freshly-trimmed. She reached out and tugged on his sleeve again, not able to think of anything else to do to convey how happy she was to find him here with her.

"You look nice, too," he said in automatic politeness, but he seemed to limit how much he actually looked at her.

"Yeah?" Lorelai frowned down at her khaki jacket, turquoise top, and dark jeans. "You said casual, but I wasn't sure how casual."

"You look perfect." His voice turned gruff. "Which is no different than any other day."

"Yeah?" she said again, but this time she was grinning like a fool.

He shook his head, trying to temper his own grin. "Don't get cocky," he warned her.

"Or somebody gets a screwdriver in the head," she agreed, bouncing slightly on her toes, delighted that they already had in-jokes between them.

"Ready to go?" he asked, after another few seconds of smiling at their shared recollection.

"Ready," she happily agreed, and went to grab her purse.

* * *

"So where are we going?" Lorelai goaded Luke yet again, about 20 minutes later.

"If your parents ever tried to take you on a trip, they have my complete sympathy," Luke grumbled.

"Well, if you'd tell me where we're going, I'd stop asking," Lorelai pointed out.

"Hartford," Luke succinctly replied.

Lorelai rolled her eyes for her own benefit, because Luke was concentrating out the windshield, not watching her. "I _know_ we're going to Hartford! I knew that ten minutes ago, when we pulled onto the highway _leading_ to Hartford! _Where_ in Hartford, that's what I want to know."

"Patience," he advised.

"You're annoying," she pouted.

"_I'm _annoying?" In spite of his grumpy words, he was smiling. "Right back at'cha. Fortunately, you're also cute."

For a moment she was caught completely off guard. "You think I'm cute?"

"Fishing for compliments now?"

"No, I…" She wasn't sure why hearing this from him was unsettling her. "I just didn't know you thought that."

"Really? You didn't know that?" Skepticism was layered thickly onto his words.

"Well, I…" She shook her head, worrying her lips together for a moment. "You've always been something of a mystery to me, Luke."

He barked out a short, disbelieving laugh. "_I'm _a mystery to you? Yeah, right. Again, right back at'cha."

Lorelai's world turned topsy-turvey. Usually she was the one calling the shots on a first date. It was disconcerting to find herself not in the driver's seat, either literally or figuratively. The knowledge settled down onto her that with Luke, all bets were off. They already possessed a shared history. They already knew all sorts of quirks and secrets about the other. This relationship, in many ways, wasn't starting out at zero. There wouldn't be a grace period, where foibles were accepted and miscommunications could be amusing. Dating Luke was possibly going to be a harder job than what she first thought.

"Well," she ordered briskly, hoping to get back into control, "let's stop with the mystery stuff right now. Take the high road and tell me where we're going."

"Don't have to." Luke waited for traffic to clear and turned into a parking lot. "We're here."

Lorelai looked out her window at the comforting neon sign for Souplantation. Her stomach gave yet another nervous twist, this time compounded by guilt, remembering the night a year ago when she and Rory ate here.

"Oh, what is this place?" she asked, using a fake-innocent voice that didn't sound believable at all. "Soup-tation? Is that it? They serve soup, I gather? What a novel idea!"

"Lorelai, give me a break," Luke groused, pulling the key from the ignition. "I know you've been here."

"Me? Oh, no, I don't know what –"

"Seriously? You thought I wouldn't notice the all-you-can-eat glow?"

Defeated, Lorelai slumped back against the seat. "Rory told you," she grumbled. "What a goody-goody."

"It wasn't Rory."

"Then who?"

"Turns out Mrs. Slutsky was there. Apparently you had your face stuck in a trough of chicken velvet soup and didn't notice her waving to you."

"Look, Luke, we didn't set out to eat here. I mean, it was just one of those things that happen when you're hungry. We drove by, and the sign about the endless buffet just lured us in! It didn't mean anything to us, I swear!"

Luke shook his head sadly, staring straight ahead. "You cheat on me and thought I wouldn't find out?"

"Luke, I –"

"There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes."

"Suddenly you're Don Henley? You're quoting the Eagles to me now?"

He turned to her then, a half-smile on his mouth, but his face looked troubled. "Just consider that some advice for the future," he said lightly, but she could tell he wished he could take back the whole exchange.

Suddenly she remembered Nicole and the Sockman and the trip to jail, all of which were mere weeks in the past. Her heart pinged in sympathy for him, and for the first time it dawned on her that she might have lured him out on a date with her far too soon. She reached over and put her hand on his upper arm, squeezing it gently.

"I won't cheat on you ever again, Luke." She kept the tone of her voice light, pretending she hadn't caught on to the underlying seriousness, but her hand squeezed a little bit tighter, giving him another message. "I promise that no other man's meatloaf will ever pass over these lips again."

Luke tried to choke back a laugh, but it burst out anyway. Lorelai reeled back, wide-eyed, a hand smacked over her mouth.

She had to laugh too. "I think that was possibly the dirtiest dirty thing I've ever said."

"Oh come on. I'm sure I've heard worse from you."

"But I_ intended_ those. This one just slipped out!"

Luke grinned at her. "I don't care where you eat, Lorelai. In fact, I like knowing you don't eat every meal at the diner. Gives me hope that maybe you're eating healthier someplace else. Let's keep that fantasy alive."

"We really didn't plan to eat here that night." Lorelai continued, even though she knew Luke had only been teasing her. "We'd been in Hartford, fighting with my mother. We were heading home, and boom! Here it was, beckoning in hungry travelers. It was right before Rory's graduation. Right before she knew Jess had left. You were worried…we both were worried about how to tell her…" Lorelai paused, taking a deep breath. "It was a really bad night," she summed up.

Luke sat perfectly still for a moment. Then he nodded, turning to look at her again. "You're right. That _was _a bad night." He reached across the seat, picked up her hand and held it carefully in his. "What do you say we go on in there and try to make this a better night than that one?" he suggested, with a hopeful smile.

"A most excellent suggestion," Lorelai agreed, and reached for the door handle.

* * *

"So where are we going now?" Lorelai asked, trying not to groan at all of the food loaded into her stomach after many filling trips down the buffet lines. At least the food had crowded out the annoying butterflies that had been bothering her earlier.

"Remember that patience thing from before?"

"You're still not telling me where we're going?"

Luke seemed to reconsider. "We're going to go see a movie."

"Really?" She stared at him in amazement. "You want to go see a movie?"

He shrugged. "Sort of traditional for a first date, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it sort of is. So what movie are we going to see?"

"Guess you'll find out when we get there."

"Man, you are _really _annoying tonight."

"And there's that tree again," Luke said wryly. The confident, handsome smile he sent her way, though, made her heart skip a beat, if only for a second or two.

Luke turned into the megaplex parking lot and found a spot for the truck. They walked up to the door side by side in their usual style, two comrades-in-arms.

Lorelai looked over the marque and squealed. "Are we going to see_ The Whole Ten Yards_?"

"Is that what you want to see?" Luke tolerantly asked.

"Hello? Matthew Perry? Of course!"

His smile maybe looked suspiciously self-satisfied, but that fact went right over the top of her easily-distracted head. "Tell you what," he said, glancing at his watch, "we're kind of cutting it close here. You want snacks, right?"

She laughed at him condescendingly.

"Right," he acknowledged. He pulled out his wallet and started to give her a bill from it. "You go get whatever you want, and I'll grab the tickets."

"Do you want anything?"

Luke gave that condescending laugh right back at her.

Lorelai's giggle was genuine this time. She pushed the money back against his chest and held it there. She wobbled a little bit, off-balance, and his arm snaked around her back, holding her steady. She smiled, happy at his touch. "You go get the tickets, but I'll buy my own snacks. How's that for being all modern and quasi-feminist? I'll meet you at the ticket-taker."

He nodded, looking extremely pleased for some reason. Lorelai shrugged it off and went over to stand in line, contemplating whether to get Junior Mints or Skittles to go with her popcorn. Or…perhaps both?

The concession line moved more slowly than the one for the tickets and Luke ended up meeting back up with her there.

"We're this way," he said, taking the gigantic popcorn bucket out of her hands and leading the way.

Lorelai watched the LED signs mounted at the ceiling, trying to spot the theater for their movie.

"Holy cow," Luke murmured into her ear, distracting her. "Look at that woman over there."

The woman in question had on pink shorts, possibly made out of plastic swimming pool material, and in such a florescent shade that they nearly glowed. Her hair was pink as well and she had more body parts pierced than Lorelai had ever seen.

"_Ouch_," she mouthed to Luke, pretending to be horrified, her eyes held wide.

He grinned and put his arm around her back, opening the theater door and ushering her inside while her attention was still mostly on Pinky.

"You choose our seats," he offered.

"You don't care?"

He shrugged. "Even if I do, I can already hear your litany of complaints if I choose wrong. So this decision is all yours."

"Such a smart guy you are." Triumphant, she bumped her hip into his before setting off down the aisle. She picked a row close to the center of the theater and three seats down from the middle. "Rory and I have perfected this. Here we're still close to that optimum position, but far enough away that the purists who insist on sitting exactly in the center leave us alone. It's a science, I tell you."

"I bow to your movie-going knowledge."

"Yeah, if only they offered a degree in that. That would have been so much more fun than getting my business degree." Lorelai settled herself and her snacks into the seat.

"They do, don't they?"

"What?"

"Colleges have all sorts of classes about watching movies, don't they? Film classes?"

"Yeah, I guess." Lorelai opened up the jumbo box of Skittles. "But those really wouldn't have helped me run an inn. I mean, I guess I could show _Citizen Kane_ or something in the dining room every night and offer discussion groups for the guests. But that would cut into Black, White & Read's business, and I don't want to get sued, or alienate the townsfolk. Plus, Kirk would probably want to run the projector for me, and my business plan depends on keeping the Dragonfly 100% Kirk-free."

"Sensible decision on your part. It continually amazes me that the people in Stars Hollow, the people who arguably know him the best, are the ones who keep hiring him."

Lorelai laughed. "You know people are weird. Especially Stars Hollow people!"

Luke nodded his agreement. She offered him the bucket of popcorn, but he shook his head.

The background music cut off and the screen glowed into life, blasting the advertising for the movie complex. "Hmm," Lorelai said, looking around the seats. "Not that big of a crowd here."

Luke barely shrugged, keeping his eyes on the screen.

Lorelai snuggled comfortably into her seat, automatically munching on her snacks. She wasn't really hungry, but she couldn't imagine sitting in the darkened theater without having something from the three major food groups at her side: salty, sweet, and carbonated. She cast a sideways glance at Luke, debating for a second whether or not to lean up against him. It was a date, after all. But she decided against it, in spite of the one or two tingly moments derived from their casual touches during the course of the evening so far. She hated to say it, but the night felt less like a date and more like two good ol' pals out on the town. Sure, she was having a good time. She felt comfortable and completely at ease with him, and their banter was flowing as smoothly as it did daily in the diner. But that spark of something special, that new relationship glow – she just wasn't sure she was feeling it. At least, not yet_._ She smiled to herself, licking some of the butter-flavored grease off of her fingers. The night was still young, though. She wasn't ready to give up on Captain Pickup yet.

After a few minutes Lorelai bumped her shoulder against Luke's. "Weird previews," she whispered to him.

"Yeah, kind of, I guess." He squirmed a little bit in his seat.

She frowned up at the screen. "I mean, where are the car chases? The explosions? Hobbits? Shrek?" She picked up her drink, preparing to take a pull from the straw. "These are all really serious. Really dark_. Geez, s_ubtitles? In a trailer? Are you freakin' kidding me?"

"Weird," Luke agreed blandly.

The screen went black and silent, preparing for the beginning of the movie. Slowly, children's voices came out of the dark.

"A Pizza Hut! A Pizza Hut! Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut! McDonald's! McDonald's! Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut!"

Lorelai chortled in delight, leaning forward in her seat, her eyes bright and shining. "What is this?" she wondered in a whisper. Still laughing, she began to recite the rhyme along with the children, her hands mirroring the motions of the rows of summer campers on the screen before her.

"Everything's bigger in America," a man's voice began to explain. "We've got the biggest cars, the biggest food, and now, the biggest people, too. America has become the fattest nation on earth."

"Luke? What is this?" Lorelai confusion ceased her laughter.

On the screen, many examples of large Americans were being shown, some with blurred faces. The man's pleasant voice continued, reciting numerous facts about overweight people in Mississippi, and reminiscing about a childhood spent in West Virginia with a mom who cooked dinner for the family every night. Suddenly golden arches popped up and the man told the audience about McDonald's dominance of the fast food industry, both in the U.S. and abroad. He talked about consumers suing McDonald's, and whether or not it was corporate or personal responsibility leading the nation to an obesity crisis.

"Luke?" Staring at the screen, Lorelai tried in vain to get her companion to communicate with her. Had they wandered into the wrong theater? "What _is _this?"

Just then, the unseen man who had been speaking finally appeared on the screen. "Supersize me!" he declared, throwing wide his arms. From the soundtrack, Freddie Mercury began rocking out "Fat Bottomed Girls."

"_Luke!"_ she hissed, turning to glare at him. She was irritated, and annoyed, and…yeah, she could admit it, a little hurt, too. The smug smirk she could see on his face wasn't helping, either. It reminded her too much of Jess and she stifled her urge to smack that smirk away.

"You never listen to me when I warn you about your deplorable diet," Luke sanctimoniously whispered. "Thought maybe this guy could make you see sense."

"Humph!" Lorelai flounced back into her seat, fuming. She grabbed the box of Junior Mints and poured as much of the contents into her mouth as possible, chewing spitefully. Hearing Luke's satisfied chuckle from beside her didn't ease her disenchanted mood at all.

She leaned further to the other side of her seat, keeping more cold inches between her and Luke. It was going to take a pretty big spark to thaw the distance between them now.

* * *

"Lorelai?" Coming many minutes into the movie, Luke's whisper was full of trepidation. "Do you want to go?"

Lorelai sat hunched forward on her seat, her hands clasped between her knees, her eyes riveted to the screen where a bloated and gasping Morgan Spurlock was getting yet another blood test. Her snacks had sat untouched since about Day 12 of his McDonald's odyssey. And in fact, she _did _want to go. She wanted to run away from the disturbing sight of the wrecked man in the movie, but even more she wanted to be told that he made it through the month of McDonald's food unscathed. She wanted someone to appear and tell her that fries and ketchup counted as two servings of vegetables. She wanted confirmation that the protein gleaned from two all-beef patties was the staff of life. She wanted to be reassured that her lifestyle wasn't her doom.

Without looking at Luke, she gave her head a brief shake. She needed to stay. She _had _to stay.

Luke pulled himself as far forward on his seat as possible and turned to look at her. His face, illuminated by the movie screen, was full of agonized guilt. "Lorelai, I'm sorry, OK?" He placed a sure hand on her knee. "I didn't know it was going to be like this. It was just supposed to be a joke, you know? Come on, let's go. Let's get you out of here."

She tore her attention away from the screen and focused on the alarmed guy practically kneeling before her on the sticky floor of the movie theater. It suddenly dawned on her that the luminosity she could see in his eyes was the affection he felt for her, a twin to that warm fondness she felt for him. His eyes, his mouth, that tender hand on her knee: everything about him right now was making sparks fly in earnest between them. Suddenly that new relationship glow was out in full force.

_Every touch feels incredible_, she recalled. Unable to stop, her hand reached out to his strong, handsome face, her thumb stroking the whisker-free spot just under his bottom lip.

Luke went very still, his eyes locked on hers.

"I'm fine," she whispered, smiling at his stunned reaction. She moved her hand softly, lovingly cupping his cheek. "I don't want to go."

He smiled too. Sparks tingled up her thigh as he rubbed a little bit higher line on her jeans. He nodded then and sat back into his seat.

This time, Lorelai did lean up against him. It was, after all, a date.

Soon, Luke put his arm around her shoulders, urging her even closer to him.

Lorelai closed her eyes, savoring the warmth and the very existence of the man holding her. It was more than just a date now. It had become a very _good _date.

* * *

The muted house lights came on when the movie ended. Luke gave her shoulders a tiny squeeze and then moved away from her. Lorelai gathered up her purse and stuffed all of her snack debris inside the huge popcorn bucket.

Luke waited for her to join him in the aisle, then put his hand on her back, ushering her up the slight incline towards the door. Lorelai found herself leaning against him, not wanting to lose that connection she'd enjoyed during the last part of the film.

At the exit, Luke held open the lid to the bin so she could throw away her trash. Her hand touched his and lingered there, her fingers feathering over the bare skin of his wrist.

His arm went back around her shoulders and stayed there as they walked to the truck. He only let go when he needed to dig the keys out of his pocket.

Luke opened the door and helped her inside, his hand now the one that lingered on her elbow. Instead of closing the door and going around to the driver's side, Luke leaned further in, his head bowed.

"I hope you're not too mad at me," he said gruffly, the beginning of an apology.

Lorelai had been so caught up in the delicious physical sensations now bouncing between them that she'd already forgotten that she had been angry with him not that many minutes ago. But currently that was the last thing on her mind.

She put a hand on his head, smoothing back his hair, still half-amazed that it wasn't covered up by that hat she'd given him all of those Christmases ago. "I'm not mad," she assured him, smiling at him when his head shot back up, apparently shocked by her touch.

His eyes studied hers. "I wasn't trying to teach you a lesson or anything like that. It was really just supposed to be a joke."

"Luke, it's OK." She picked up both of his hands in hers, tightening her fingers around his. "I can take a joke, even the ones that turn my stomach. It made for a memorable first date, that's for sure. Just don't take me to McDonald's any time soon, OK?"

"Yeah, that probably wasn't going to happen anyway," he said dryly. But he smiled, too, and the smile lit up his face. Reluctantly he tugged his fingers away from her, shut her door, and hurried around the truck to climb in on his side.

He settled into his seat and put the key in the ignition, but didn't turn it. "Do you want to maybe go get a drink someplace?"

Lorelai shook her head. "Let's just head back to Stars Hollow. We can see how we feel once we get there. I think I've had enough of Hartford for the night."

Luke nodded his agreement and reached for the ignition, but Lorelai went with her gut and impulsively seized the moment, her hand zipping out to stop his. He looked at her apprehensively.

"Could we…could we maybe try something first?" she requested, a nervous quaver creeping into her voice.

"Uh…" He looked at her distrustfully, probably thinking back on all of her pranks over the years. "Depends on what it is," he said doubtfully.

"What it is…" She flicked open her seat belt, scooted across the empty middle of the seat, and reached almost blindly to pull his face towards hers. "…is this…."

"_Oh God,"_ she thought she heard him mutter, in a tone that sounded more like despair than joy. But his hand went to the back of her head and his lips found hers without a pause.

Lorelai wasn't sure what her original plan for the kiss might have been, but whatever it was, it was thrown out the window as soon as Luke became involved. He angled towards her, his other arm going round her back, pulling her as close to him as possible in the awkward space. The hand tangled in the back of her hair ensured that the kiss wasn't going to be a casual one. Already he was teasing her lips with his questing tongue.

She opened readily to him, instantly regretting that she hadn't taken in a bigger gulp of air before scooting across the seat. She managed to get both of her arms around his back, pressing her hands against the taut muscles she could feel under his shirt, using his body as leverage so she could erase even more of the miniscule space that still existed between them.

He groaned and a shiver of need passed through her body. The kiss deepened further and Lorelai started to feel lightheaded. The dizziness was not just from a lack of oxygen, though. It was from euphoria. From some sort of crazy, wild happiness. It was like…like the satisfaction felt when giving that stubborn Rubik's Cube the last twist to get the colors to all line up. Or when you looked around the house and realized that the laundry was finally all caught up. Or when you found a sale so good that it was like the store was practically paying you to take home the clothes. Kissing Luke – having Luke kiss her – was like all of that and more. For this moment at least, it was like the stars had all lined up and were giving her everything she'd ever wished or desired. It was a good, good moment, and Lorelai was in no rush to bring it to an end.

The people parked in the car next to them, however, had other ideas. They talked loudly and slammed doors, and Luke and Lorelai pulled apart at the noise, looking at each other through dazed eyes, breathing heavily.

"Well, we took that right up to 11, didn't we?" Lorelai asked shakily, wondering what Luke was thinking. She swallowed hard and tried to gauge his reaction, wondering if he wanted to try that again as much as she did.

He chuckled a little bit, sounding winded. "Yeah," he agreed. He turned back straight in the seat, running a hand over his hair, putting back in place what she'd mussed. "Practically blew out the speakers."

Lorelai finger-combed her hair, too, pleased that he'd gotten her reference. She pulled her jacket back down from where it had ridden up when she'd launched herself over at him. She made no move to change her position on the seat, though. "Where's the seat belt for here?" she asked, searching along the underside of the vinyl.

"Lorelai," he began, shaking his head.

"What? You don't want me sitting here?" she challenged.

"It might not be too comfortable for you. You might get an elbow in the ribs while I'm driving." Playfully, he illustrated his point. "Or this might happen." He reached around her and tickled the opposite side of her body.

"Nothing I can't handle," Lorelai insisted with a big smile.

"OK then." He helped her find both ends of the seat belt and dropped a kiss on her head while she was still bent over, fastening it. Then he started the truck and pulled out of the parking space.

During the drive they talked about the movie, debating whether or not eating fast food for a month would be enough to wreck an otherwise healthy man. Gradually Lorelai brought up happier memories, those of taking Rory to playgrounds at McDonald's and other restaurants when she was little.

"You know, I didn't have much of what you'd call disposable income in those days," she related. "Usually no access to a car, either, and it seemed silly to go buy flattened hamburgers and greasy fries when we had all of this fabulous food available at the Independence kitchen whenever we wanted it. But Rory loved the playgrounds at those places. She'd make up some fairytale story that involved rescuing a princess stuck at the very top of the climbing ladder, and off she'd go. She almost always made a friend or two before we left, too."

"I bet she did." Luke nodded knowingly, showing her once again how much he doted on her kid.

"And then, as she got older and we moved into our own house, eating out together just sort of became a thing for us to do together. Gave us that chance to sit down and relax at the end of the day, catch up on school and work and town gossip, you know?" Lorelai rambled on.

"Sure," Luke agreed.

"And you know, once she didn't really care anymore about the toys, there wasn't as much reason to go to the fast food places."

"Toys?"

"Yeah, you know. Happy Meals?" Lorelai wasn't really focusing on her words any longer. She was twisting around, trying to see out the back window of the cab. "So did you bring 'em?"

"Bring what?"

"Blankets."

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me," she warned him, returning the poke in the ribs he'd given her earlier. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Luke stared straight ahead, his lips held tightly together. "Of course not," he finally muttered.

"Why not?" she demanded.

"Because…" He shook his head decisively. "We're adults, for one thing. And there's no reason to, for another. If we were going to – and we're _not_ – we wouldn't have to settle for a rusty truck bed."

"Aw, Luke, come on! Give me a glimpse into _Butch Danes, the Teen Years._ Show me what I missed, not knowing you then."

"No," he repeated.

"Luke, admit it! Don't you wanna see if we can take it up to 13?"

"No," he insisted.

"Liar," she taunted.

He glanced her way but refused to reply.

Lorelai exhaled forcefully, changing tactics. "OK, let's do it for me, then. I have never been parking, Luke, not even once. I am, I hate to admit it, a parking virgin. So come on, I bet that idea kind of turns you on, huh?"

"No," he said shortly. But he swiveled his head and gave her a closer look before facing forward again. "Besides, I don't believe it."

"Well, it's true. I mean, I've kissed and necked and that sort of stuff in a car, don't get me wrong. But when it started getting hot and heavy, there was always an empty guest cottage somewhere, or a pool house, or somebody's parents were away skiing, leaving a whole house available for a make-out party."

"Which I think was part of my point, that there are much more comfortable venues than trying to cuddle up in the bed of a truck." He paused, that muscle in his jaw flexing. "And the rest of my point was that it doesn't matter, because that's not happening tonight."

"You are so not fun," Lorelai pouted.

"That shouldn't be a newsflash to you," Luke pointed out.

Lorelai sunk down low in her seat, moping for several silent miles. Finally she rallied and sat up again. "Well, just show me where then."

"Show you where what?"

"Show me where your spot was. Show me where you had your way with all of those perky cheerleaders."

"It wasn't like that," he protested, truly offended.

"Hey, hey, I know that." Lorelai put a placating hand on his tense arm. "But I was a teenager too, Luke. I know – you _know _I know – what it was like. All of those hormones, all of those hot nights. Trying to figure out how it all works. And I'm just curious. I just want to share some background with you. I just want to catch a glimpse of what it was like for you, back before you were Luke Danes, sensible Diner Man."

He glanced over at her again. She could tell he was weakening.

"Please?" She put on her most charming smile. "Just show me where you used to go parking. It's our first date. Indulge me, please?"

He sighed, one of those agonized, long-suffering sighs he seemed to save up just for her. "All right," he crankily capitulated.

"Yay!" she cheered, clapping lightly.

He scowled, shaking his head, but he turned left at the next stoplight, heading out into the country.

"So how often did you come out here? Was it like a well-known spot? Did everybody from Stars Hollow High know about it?" Lorelai chattered as they drove down the road.

"No, this was someplace I found out about on my own, coming back from a track meet one night. And I kept it to myself," he added.

"Very smart of you," she complimented him. "No need sharing with the masses. Create scarcity. One of the first laws of commerce."

Luke scoffed. "Uh-huh."

"So how much farther is it?"

"Oh dear God, not this again."

"Are we almost there?"

He sighed deeply and turned down a narrow, bumpy road. It ended at a gate and well-lit parking lot. He put the truck into park and motioned out the windshield.

"What?" Lorelai asked, scrunching down to peer out the window more. "What is this?"

"This is it. My old parking spot."

"But this…how can this be? It's condominiums!"

"Yep, it sure is."

"But I…don't understand."

Luke shrugged. "It's been better'n 20 years, Lorelai. Things change."

Now Lorelai was the one to sigh deeply. "Yeah, I guess they do."

He looked at her thoughtfully. And then abruptly, Luke put the truck back in gear and took off with enough force to throw Lorelai up against him.

"Whoa! Hey, where's the fire? Luke! Where are we going?"

He was too busy driving to answer, but he was smiling. He turned the truck down one dark road and then another, and then he slowed and pulled into a faded lane that led back into a densely-wooded parcel of land.

"Things do change," Luke said, stopping the truck in the lane. He turned to look at her again, a more boyish smile on his face this time. "Doesn't hurt to stay abreast of the local real estate market, though, keep track of where the empty land is around town. You know, just so Taylor doesn't buy it all up."

Lorelai hooted a delighted laugh. She gave Luke a teasing smack on his forearm, and then scrambled out of her side of the truck. It was a bigger drop down to the ground than she expected, and she nearly fell. "Oops," she cried out, giggling, grabbing at the truck bed to steady herself.

"Lorelai! What are you doing?" she heard Luke yell after her. But by then she was already at the tailgate, trying to figure out how the latch worked to release it.

"Lorelai!" He got out of the truck too and met her in the back. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Seizing an opportunity." She continued feeling for the latch.

"I told you, we're not doing this!"

"Oh, I know. I just want to see the back of the truck."

"You've seen the back of the truck," Luke pointed out, exasperated. "You've seen it with a used mattress, without a used mattress…"

"But I've never experienced it as a date before," she argued. She finally squeezed the latch hard enough and the tailgate let go. Luke caught it before it could hit either of them.

Lorelai put her hands flat on it and tried to figure out how to climb up. With yet another sigh, Luke put his hands on her waist and turned her around, then lifted her up onto the tailgate. She grinned at him and then scrambled up to her feet, walking further into the truck bed.

"Now what are you doing?" he complained.

"Looking for the blankets." She poked around under a tarp, trying to determine what all of the odds and ends were that he had stored in the back of the truck. "Aha! What do we have here?" She pulled out a cylindrical object wrapped in a plastic bag. "Is this what I think it is?"

"It's just a sleeping bag."

"Exactly," she purred, suggestively enough that it would have made Miss Patty proud.

"It's just there for emergencies. In case I need it during fishing trips or camping or something."

"Or _something_," Lorelai winked, even though she knew he couldn't see it from his vantage point at the end of the truck. She pulled the sleeping bag out of the plastic and tried to unfurl it.

"Don't do that!" he groaned. "You're just going to get all dirty!" He climbed up into the truck bed too, reaching for the sleeping bag, attempting to take it away from her.

"That's exactly what I want to do. Get_ allll_ dirty," she informed him in a sultry tone.

"Lorelai!" He made her name sound like a lament.

"Luke!" She whined right back at him, while still struggling with the sleeping bag.

"Oh, for –" He took the sleeping bag away from her, easily spreading it out before them. "I'm only doing this because I know if I don't, chances are we'll never get home."

Lorelai plopped down to sit on the fiber filled material. "Well, I'm not saying you're going to score a home run tonight, but I might let you touch some bases."

"That isn't –" he began to sputter.

"Luke, I'm teasing." She tiredly patted the spot next to her. His upright attitude was becoming exhausting. "Just come here. Sit down a minute or two. Can't we just enjoy the night for a little bit?"

He looked around, possibly hoping for the cavalry to ride up and rescue him from her clutches. Seeing no one, however, he sighed and finally sat down.

"See? Not so bad, huh?" She lightly bumped her shoulder against his, but then put her hands behind her and leaned back, making the choice not to invade his space. "I mean, it's been a pretty good night so far, right? Good food, good company, a thought-provoking movie. And now here we are, enjoying one of the first really nice spring nights. It's always such a surprise when you can go outside again without being all bundled up." She eased off her shoes and wiggled her toes in the cool air, turning her face up to the sky.

"It does feel like spring," Luke agreed. "Baseball weather," he added, sounding more relaxed. "Real baseball," he quickly clarified. "Not what you were talking about before."

"I'll take your word for that." She moved forward a little bit on the sleeping bag and then laid back, keeping her knees bent upwards. She wasn't sure if there was enough room for her to stretch out completely, since about a foot of the truck bed directly behind the cab was taken up by the stored items.

"Wow, look at all the stars," she marveled. "Do you think there are this many over Stars Hollow?"

Luke leaned back on his elbows, also gazing overhead. "I suspect so, although you'd never know it. Is it because all of the damn twinkle lights wash them out, or do we just never look up?"

"Probably a little bit of both." She continued to watch overhead. "So do you know the constellations?"

"Not really."

"Yeah, me neither. On a good night I can pick out the Big Dipper and the North Star, but that's about it."

He gave a little derisive snort, while lying down completely next to her, keeping his knees bent upwards, too. "I always thought those old Greeks must have been high on something, making up those stories about archers and flying horses. I mean, they're just dots up in the sky. Who saw that stuff?"

Lorelai grinned. "Well, the stars were brighter back then, easier to see. Maybe that helped to connect the dots."

"Maybe. I don't get why looking up at the stars is supposed to be so romantic, either. They're just smoking hunks of rock. Besides, as long as it takes their light to reach earth, chances are those stars burnt out long ago. As far as we know, they could be nothing more than old, dead, cold rocks up there."

Lorelai blinked a couple of times, frowning up at the stars she thought were so pretty a moment or two ago. She rose back up on her elbow, turning to Luke and lighting hitting his chest. "Geez, Luke, way to spoil the mood!"

He grinned, still relaxed. "Sorry," he offered, not sounding very apologetic. "Just the way my mind works."

Lorelai leaned easily on his chest, looking down at his smiling face. "You really love to cultivate that curmudgeonly persona, don't you?"

"It's who I am," he said lightly. The smile faded as he slowly reached a hand up, running his fingers through a strand of hair hanging over her shoulder. "No curls tonight," he commented.

"Not tonight," she repeated, a breathless anticipation starting to unfurl in her chest.

"Why do you do that? Get rid of the curls sometime?"

"Some days it's just easier. The curls take a lot of maintenance to get them to behave. And when I straighten it, it looks neater, somehow. Like I tried harder."

He smiled briefly at that. "You thought you had to try harder tonight? With me?"

She smiled too, shaking her head. "I wanted to look nice for you, sure."

His hand pushed deeper into her hair, smoothing it back over her shoulder. "Don't try so hard next time. I like it curly."

"There's going to be a next time?"

His hand stilled, his face turned serious. "I hope so."

"I do too." Lorelai nodded, the anticipation ready to choke her. "So you like the curls. Anything else you like about me?"

"Yeah," he almost whispered. His thumb moved to her cheek, stroking it softly. Slowly, adding encouraging pressure, he brought her face down to his.

The kiss started out gentle this time, almost as if they were testing it, trying to see if the first one was just a fluke. They took their time, letting their lips become familiar before those troublemaking tongues begged to be invited to the party.

Lorelai sank down against Luke, relishing the feel of his chest under hers. His arms wrapped around her, holding her close, and then suddenly his arms grasped her even more firmly while he rolled them over, so that she was under him. Carefully he kept most of his weight off of her, but the switching of their positions, the image of being pinned down by him, made her head positively swoon.

He broke the kiss, leaving her mouth, heading to her ear. "So before, what I said. I sort of lied." He used his mouth to tug enticingly on her earlobe, then moved down to her neck.

"You lied?" Lorelai's knees quivered as her back arched up against him, the result of the nerve endings on her neck being expertly assaulted by his mouth.

"Yeah." He pulled back, looking down at her. "Before, when I said you were cute."

"You don't think I'm cute?" she questioned breathlessly, not really caring as long as he kept kissing her.

"Oh, I think you're cute all right." He kissed a cheek, her nose, her forehead, while continuing to explain. "Like when you used to wear that bandana on your head sometimes? Totally cute. Or some of those weird band t-shirts. Definitely cute."

"So what's the lie?" Lorelai panted, writhing underneath him.

"I think you're so much more than cute," he confessed, before putting his talented mouth on her neck again.

"It's OK. I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. Even for that time you gave me decaf," she gasped out.

The heartfelt confession continued to flow out of him. "The very first time I saw you, Lorelai, you were so pretty I thought my heart had stopped. You had on red lipstick and when you smiled at me I didn't think I'd ever be able to move again. You're gorgeous, Lorelai. Beautiful. So beautiful. I want you to know that. I want you to know what you do to me. What you've always done to me." He'd stopped the kissing and was looking down at her, watching her eyes as he revealed his secrets.

She took in a couple of breaths, trying to clear her head. "Right back at'cha," she murmured. She rubbed her thumb lazily over his lips. "Minus the red lipstick, of course." She put her hand on the back of his head, bringing his mouth back down to start the kissing again.

After an additional minute or two of passion, one of the corrugations from the truck bed beneath her bit into her back when her position shifted slightly. She groaned at the pain, not like the good groans that had been emanating from her. And Luke was in tune with her enough to tell the difference. He rolled them over again, so that he was now the one battling with the metal surface under them.

Her legs sprawled to either side of him. His hand massaged the spot on her back that had taken the brunt of the truck's spite. At least, she thought that was what he was doing, but then his hand continued rubbing down her spine. When he reached the small of her back he stopped, broadening and flattening his hand, pressing down on her, anchoring her securely against the length of him.

A switch tripped inside her. She wanted – _needed_ – more. More touching. More skin. Just…more.

Inelegantly she pushed herself up to her knees, off of him. She reached for one of the sleeves of her khaki jacket, desperately wanting to rid herself of it.

"Whoa, Lorelai! Lorelai, no. Don't –"He sat up too, putting his hands on hers, trying to stop her struggling attempts to disrobe.

"No, Luke, it's like you said before. We're adults. We can do what we want, when we want. We should take advantage of that." She was breathing hard from their making out; from trying to fight out from under his grip; from being trapped inside her jacket sleeves now partway down her arms.

"Lorelai, listen to me. This isn't – this isn't what we should do. Not tonight. This is my fault for letting it get out of hand. But this isn't going any farther tonight."

"Luke, it's fine." She finally shook him off and peeled off her jacket. She leaned forward on her knees, putting a hand against his heaving chest and smiled in anticipation at him. "If you don't have anything with you, I think I do. Let me go grab my purse a minute –"

He took hold of her arms and firmly but gently maneuvered her into a sitting position beside him. He was not smiling. His face looked stern. Stern and determined.

"We're not having sex in the back of my truck, Lorelai. Not tonight. Not ever."

She laughed at that, thinking he just needed some more of her special brand of persuading. "Come on, Luke, why not? I'm all for it! Look, here we are. Hot, hunky guy." She rubbed his chest. "Cute, pretty girl." She batted her eyelashes at him, then gestured at the sky overhead. "One instant bedroom under the stars. What more do we need?"

"No," he said shortly, and started to shift himself towards the rear of the truck.

"Luke! What is wrong with you?" She grabbed at him, tried to force him back towards her. "Why wouldn't you want to –?"

"Because I don't trust you!" The chilling words thundered out of him.

The silence that remained after that revelation hurt her ears. For long, stunned moments she thought she'd forgotten how to breathe. Her lungs and her throat hurt. Everything hurt.

"How can you say that?" she finally managed to painfully whisper. "_Me?_ You don't trust _me_?"

"No, I didn't mean that." Luke looked miserable. "I trust _you._ Of course I trust you. But this?" He motioned between them. "Whatever this is? _This_ I don't trust."

"I don't…I don't understand." Lorelai shook her head fretfully, still reeling from his previous words. "Isn't this what we're supposed to be doing? Exploring? Getting comfortable with each other?"

"Comfortable," he scoffed. He bowed his head, rubbing his face hard before he looked up again. "That's the thing, I guess. I'm not comfortable. I'm not comfortable with you suddenly deciding I'm finally acceptable as a boyfriend."

Lorelai tried to get her dry throat to let her swallow. "Luke, I'm sorry, but I still…I don't understand. I'm not following what you're saying."

He sighed, pulling up his knees and draping his arms over them. He shook his head, closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them again he looked resigned. "So how vulnerable and sensitive do you like your guys to be?"

Still confused and hurt, Lorelai seized on the small consolation to his reference of 'your guys,' hoping that meant he wanted to be one of them. "Usually a talk show or two below Dr. Phil is good."

"OK then." He sighed yet again, looking at her. "This – whatever this is – whether we date some more, or have an actual relationship, or whatever it ends up being – it's always going to mean more to me than it does to you."

She felt battered. "How can you say that? How can you possibly know something like that?"

"Because it's true." He looked at her steadily. "I've watched you for years, how you choose your guys, how you drop them when things don't go your way. I can't let that happen between us, Lorelai. We're…already connected…on more levels than just this. I refuse to lose everything else just because you suddenly want to kick it up to 11."

Lorelai put her fingertips against her forehead and rubbed gently, wondering if she'd hit her head on something and just didn't realize it. Surely she had a concussion; some sort of head trauma. Nothing was making sense. "But you said…You _said_ you wanted to have more dates with me!"

"I know. I do. I want –" He paused, shaking his head again. "Hell, I want it all, Lorelai. Of course I do. To be with you? Really be with you? Of course I want that. I just don't trust that's what you want, too. And I can't take the chance. When you get tired of me and move on, I'm not sure I could cope. That's why I'm stopping this here. Now. Preventive maintenance, before we get in too deep."

"But Luke, that makes no sense! We already have feelings for each other! There's no way to stop what we already feel!"

"You need to remember what I told you a little bit ago, about the first day I saw you. The very first day, Lorelai. These feelings have been building up in me since that very first time. I'm willing to bet that you don't even know when that was. Tell me the truth, when did you decide you should date me? When did I first become an option to you? Three days ago, in the diner? Why should I risk my sanity, my emotional health, my perfectly boring life in Stars Hollow, if I'm nothing more than a whim to you?"

"You're not…You're not a _whim_," she said faintly.

"Right," he said coldly.

Hearing the coldness in his voice kick started a little fire in her. "You are_ not_ a whim to me," she said more forcefully.

"I'm a challenge then. You want to experiment with me. See if you can get me to crack. Then you'll decide I'm not the one after all and go on your merry way. I've watched it a dozen times over the years, Lorelai."

She turned on him, her eyes snapping. "You know what? You're right. My epiphany did just happen a couple of days ago in the diner. For whatever reason I looked at you that day and realized you could be the one. But I fail to see why that's any worse than what you've done!"

Luke looked lost. "Me?"

"Yes, you!" She was getting warmed up now, her thoughts coming together, arguments ready to launch. "I readily admit that I only seriously thought of you as a possibility on Wednesday. But once that bombshell hit me, what did I do? I asked you out, Luke! I acted on that thought immediately! Meanwhile, you tell me that you've been hung up on me for what? Ten years? Eight years? However long it's been! And you've done nothing! Nothing! Why is my impulsiveness worse than your failure to act? Explain _that_ to me, bucko!"

"I…" Luke's eyes opened wide at her onslaught. He swallowed, rubbed over the top of his head. "That's, uh, that's…" Finally he stopped, giving his head a slight shake. "That's actually a valid point," he acknowledged.

"You bet it is!" Lorelai was still fuming.

"But it still doesn't change my concern, that I'm the one looking at getting his heart broken here. Just hearing you say you didn't think of me as a possibility until Wednesday hurts, Lorelai. All those years, and I was nothing more than the guy pouring the coffee to you?"

"I didn't say that." Cautiously, Lorelai reached over and took his hand. "Of course I was aware of you, Luke. But there were all of those other levels, those other connections you were talking about. I was wary of them, too. And don't forget, I had Rory to think about. You and me isn't just about you and me. I've got a kid who thinks you hang the sun out in the morning. If things went south between us, she would have never forgiven me."

Luke was studying their hands, now carefully clasped together. "So why now? What was different on Wednesday?"

"You. Me. Everything." She tried to remember how it had felt to her, that afternoon in the diner. "It just suddenly seemed so silly to keep looking all over for the perfect guy, when he was right there, pouring my coffee."

Silence enveloped them for a pause while they both reviewed what had been said, their hands continuing to provide a link between them.

At last Luke roused himself. He dropped her hand and started to stand up, putting one resigned hand on her shoulder. "I should get you home."

"No, wait!" She tugged at his arm, trying to delay his intention. "I don't want to go home with this still hanging over our heads. Where do we stand, Luke? What do you want to do?"

He chuckled dryly at that, but continued to stand up. "You're a smart girl. I'm sure you can guess what I _want _to do."

Her heart soared in hope at his joke; at his admittance he was at least physically attracted to her. "But?" she prodded, knowing there was much more than that.

"But we need to step back from this. We need – _I need_ – to see where this is going. I need some commitment from you. You show me that you're in this relationship, Lorelai, and I swear, I will be too. I want that; I just don't want to be the only one who does."

"But how…how do I show you that?"

"I'm not sure. But it's not by making love in the back of the truck and turning a blind eye to the consequences. Let's make sure we're both on the same page before we get in too deep. If there really is commitment, it's still going to be there later. For now, let's just go on like normal. We've sort of laid everything out on the table; let's see how we feel in a day or two."

"Like normal? What does that mean? I come into the diner and eat my food and drink my coffee? I forget what happened here?" She threw up her hands in disgust. "Not going to happen, Luke!"

He squatted down beside her. "Of course we don't forget. But we push that part aside. We concentrate on the other things between us. Those other connections. And you need to honestly decide if you're in this for the long haul, or if you're out, without any pressure from me."

"Now you're Heidi Klum?"

"Who? The model?" Luke looked skeptical.

Lorelai waved her hands. "It's just something she says. Never mind." She exhaled a gloomy breath of air. "Convince you I'm in. Got it."

He shook his head vigorously. "Only if you really are. I don't want you to say what you think I want to hear. I need to know you mean it."

"Right," Lorelai said dejectedly. "I guess maybe you should take me home."

Luke picked up the discarded jacket and handed it to her. Lorelai shoved her arms back into the sleeves and scooted down to the edge of the tailgate, while Luke hastily folded the sleeping bag back up and hid it back under the tarp. She put on her shoes and Luke jumped down to the ground, waiting on her to finish. He helped her down and slammed shut the tailgate.

"Wait," he cautioned, and then helped her around to the passenger door, making sure she didn't put a foot wrong and tumble down into the ditch beside the lane where they were parked.

The drive back into Stars Hollow was very subdued, both of them lost in thought. It was a surprise to them both when the truck pulled up in front of Lorelai's house.

"Wait," he requested again. He came around to open her door and helped her down to the ground. He took her hand, swinging it slightly between them as they reluctantly walked up to her front door.

"Well," she said shakily, wondering what to say at the end of this evening. _Thanks for a memorable date? We must do this again sometime? I __**am**__ committed to this relationship, dammit!_

"I wish…" He stopped, cleared his throat. "I sort of wish I could go back and start this night all over again."

"No, Luke, it's fine," she said, desperate to end the night on a high note.

"No, it's not. Even before we parked, I was coming off like a jerk. Curmudgeonly, like you said. I think I was trying to keep myself a little distant from you. Trying to keep our relationship to that level we have at the diner. You know, the way we sort of spar and tease each other. I'm comfortable with that. I guess I thought if we could just preserve that, I'd be OK going out with you. But I'm sorry. That's not what you deserved tonight."

"Luke, you were fine," she persisted. "It was a fun night. Really."

He scoffed at her reassurance. "Yeah, a real fun night," he said sarcastically. "I treated you just like a princess."

"Luke." She laid a soothing hand against his chest. "Let it go. Please." She was tired and confused and suddenly felt like tears were next on her agenda if he continued on this way.

He took a deep breath and leaned his forehead down against hers. "I just feel…like I blew this, Lorelai. Like I totally destroyed any chance we ever had. I'm scared that I'll never see you again. I do know you, you know. I know how you react. I'm about 99% sure you'll never step foot in the diner again."

"That is not true." She put both of her hands on either side of his face and raised him up so she could look him in the eye. "That is so not true! I will be in the diner tomorrow, Luke. Maybe not first thing in the morning, because I plan on sleeping in, but I'll be there by lunchtime. I promise. I'm going to be there every single day. _Every. Single. Day. _Always. I am _always_ going to be there, in your life, doing whatever I have to do to convince you how much you mean to me. Do you understand me? I will be there, Luke. You are not getting rid of me this easily."

He didn't speak, but he nodded, slowly. He put a hand through her hair, letting the silky ends trickle out over his fingers.

She saw him glance at her mouth and understood the conflict between desire and sensibility, because the same things were warring in her. But unlike him, she recognized that she had nothing to lose.

Her hands were still on his face, so she drew him down. He kissed her sweetly, but she seized the opportunity once again. She sealed her lips against his, drawing in his tongue, reminding him explosively of one of the connections that definitely throbbed between them. With regret she finally let him go, resting her face against his neck where his pulse was jumping wildly.

After a few moments he started to laugh softly. "You really do fight dirty, don't you?"

She pulled her head up, a smile flashing across her face. "You know I do, Luke. If nothing else, you know exactly what a dirty, dirty girl I am." She rubbed her thumb across his cheek once again, feeling the start of his whiskers coming through. "No holds barred," she warned him, feeling more confident.

Still chuckling, he lightly kissed her forehead. "See you tomorrow," he said, turning to leave.

"See you tomorrow," she agreed. The tears had retreated, banished by her confidence. She was able to stand on the porch and wave goodbye to him and Captain Pickup, looking forward to her campaign to convince Luke that her feelings were in all ways equal to his.

Let the games begin.

* * *

**End notes**: Obviously, I own nothing concerning the documentary_ Supersize Me_, either, but I thank Morgan Spurlock for releasing it at just the right time for Luke and Lorelai's first date. Also, as my pal **Fishbag** pointed out, Souplantation does not have any franchises in Connecticut or anywhere on the East Coast, for that matter, but since it was the show itself that started that fib, I feel perfectly justified in continuing it.


	2. Heaven Scent

**Author's Notes:** I belatedly realized that I should have given a shout-out last chapter to **Mr. DFC**, who teaches a class in..._wait for it..._Preventive Maintenance.

* * *

"Coffee," Lorelai half-begged, half-ordered, sliding onto a stool at the counter.

Because Luke had seen the Jeep pull up outside about a minute ago, he was already filling up a mug. He slid it across to her as quickly as possible, trying to decipher the purple smudges under her eyes. "Looks like you need this," he commented.

"Don't I always?" She smiled, and in spite of the dark circles, her eyes themselves were sparkling.

The stress between his shoulder blades eased. He watched her take a deep drink, listened to her sigh of satisfaction after she swallowed.

"You're here," he said then, knowing it was a stupid thing to say even before he said it.

"I'm here," she agreed, still smiling at him. "I said I would be."

He nodded. It was far enough past lunch that he had nearly convinced himself she wasn't coming, even after her mighty protestations of the night before, but…here she was. Finally. Smiling at him. Drinking his coffee. Her eyes still sparkling, as if he hadn't done his best last night to tear their friendship apart.

He bent his head a little closer to hers. "Did you sleep?" he asked gruffly.

"A little. Enough," she insisted. She looked at him then, over the rim of the oversized mug. "How about you?" she asked, after another swallow.

He didn't want to admit he hadn't. Not really, anyway. "Enough," he agreed, wondering how ravaged his own face looked.

"Anyway, I'm actually glad I tossed and turned, because I'm pretty sure I figured it out!"

"You did?" he asked, thinking he still sounded stupid.

"I did!" she bragged. "You can't believe how much it was bugging me, but I think I've got it." She looked around at the rest of the diner. "Hey, can you sit and talk to me right now or not?"

Luke glanced around the diner too, calculating his workload for the next half hour. "Uh, pretty soon I could. Let me finish up some things first."

"OK," Lorelai agreed, completely complacent for once. She guzzled down some more coffee.

Luke reached for the coffeepot, topping off her cup. "How about I go get you something to eat?"

"Sure," she said, but then she frowned, thinking it over. "Something egg-like, maybe?"

"Egg-like?" Luke repeated, thinking that this morning was definitely not a good one for her to trot out word games. "Like scrambled eggs, you mean?"

"No. Eggs…with cheese."

"An omelet." He thought sure he'd nailed it.

"No…" She continued to frown at him, looking adorable. He shook his head, aiming it at himself, not at her, but she didn't know that, of course.

"It'll come to me," she assured him. "Words are just a little bit slo-o-w today." He was glad to know words were giving her trouble too. She stared at him and he stared back at her, thinking that he certainly had the better view.

"I want the eggs cooked, but between slices of bread." Her hands illustrated her request.

"Like an egg sandwich?"

"Yes!" She beamed at him. "An egg sandwich. With cheese. And bacon!"

He sighed, wishing that after last night's documentary he could convince her to eat something a little bit healthier. But he wasn't about to deny her anything she wanted today.

"OK, I'll go get it started. Do you want to go sit at a table? I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Nope, I'm fine right here," she said contentedly.

"I'll hurry," he promised, turning towards the kitchen.

"Take your time," she said, sounding as affable as he'd ever known her to be.

He hurried anyway.

* * *

"Try this," he said, putting the plate in front of her.

"Oh, yum!" she said, eyeing it approvingly. She took a huge bite out of one half of the sandwich, nodding while she chewed. "Even better than I imagined," she told him, going in for another bite.

Luke gave a slight incline of his head, trying to pretend that her approval didn't mean more to him than anyone else's. But it did.

He'd cut up some fruit and put it on the side of her plate, his attempt for the day to sneak some vitamins into her diet.

She speared a piece of cantaloupe with her fork and saluted him with it before shoving it into her mouth and chewing obediently.

"So what did you figure out?"

"Hmm?" She was concentrating on picking up a piece of bacon that had escaped from out of the pieces of bread.

"You said something about figuring something out," he reminded her.

"Oh, yeah!" Lorelai nodded enthusiastically. "It was driving me insane because I couldn't remember, especially since it seemed to mean so much to you. But I think I've got it straight now."

Luke knew then what she meant. "The first time you were in the diner?" He felt bad, knowing that she'd wasted sleep time in thinking about it. He would have straight-out told her, if she'd just asked him.

She leaned back, her stomach now comfortably full. "You ready to hear it? See if I've got it right?"

"Go for it," he said lightly, but his heart started to pound.

"OK." She sat up straighter, ready to launch into her tale. "So I think it was maybe about a month after we moved into the house, because I hadn't gotten into any kind of a routine yet. Living away from the Inn was a huge change for Rory and me. There, we got out of bed, threw on some clothes, walked up to the kitchen and helped ourselves to whatever was on the sideboard for the staff. There was always coffee already made, just grab a mug, there you go. But when you've got your own house, that's not the way it works _at all_," she confided to Luke, shaking her head.

"It's not, huh?" The thought about her being adorable popped into his head again.

"Nope. Suddenly I was the only one standing between Rory and starvation. Geez, talk about responsibility!" She grinned at him. "Anyway, there were a lot of mornings at first when the whole time management thing totally escaped me. Lots of mornings where we ran out of the house, Pop Tarts in hand, me chasing behind Rory, trying to button up the back of her dress on the way to school."

"Pop Tarts," he groaned.

She laughed, not caring what he thought about that. "On that particular morning, I'd gotten Rory out the door without a hitch, but I'd fallen behind getting myself together. Hair problems, as I recall. Blew a fuse and couldn't get my curling iron to heat up. So I was running super late, and I knew that once I got to the Inn I had a meeting right away, so the chance of getting to satisfy my coffee craving there wasn't going to happen immediately. That, of course, was going to be a problem."

"Of course."

"Then, just to make the morning more interesting, my car wouldn't start. The junker I had before the Jeep," she further explained. "It was less reliable than Kirk. Useless piece of crap. So I kicked it a couple of times, called it some colorful adjectives, and finally realized I was going to have to hoof it to work."

"Uh-huh." Luke reached for the coffeepot again, refilling her mug. She nodded her thanks.

"You need to picture this next part. Here I am, practically jogging through the middle of town in my heels, when a door opened just ahead of me. And out of this door came the most enthralling aroma of coffee I'd ever experienced."

"Is that right?" He was smiling now; he couldn't help it.

"Oh my God, yes. And I don't say that lightly. I mean really, I thought I'd died and gone right to coffee heaven. It smelled that good."

"Maybe Reverend Skinner should know about the heavenly coffee," he speculated.

"Maybe," she nodded. "Anyway, I stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk, stunned by that wonderful smell. I looked up and saw the coffee cup painted on the window." She waved her hand towards the front window. "For the first time I made the connection between the smell and the sign. Like a bolt of lightning had hit me. 'There's coffee in there,' I thought. Someone opened the door for me and I rushed in.

"The whole place was packed. I don't think I've ever seen it as busy as it was in here that morning. I caught sight of Babette, my new neighbor, sitting at a table over there." She motioned towards a corner of the room. "I didn't know her that well yet, but I gave her a wave, then tried to figure out how to get a cup of coffee. I knew I didn't have time to wait in line or try for a table. I had to get to work. I walked up here to the counter –" Lorelai paused, running her hands up and down the wooden edge of the counter where she now sat, "- and tried to get the attention of the harried guy working behind it."

"Sounds like he was probably pretty busy," Luke observed.

"He was indeed," Lorelai agreed. "Cute though. Nice body, from what I could tell. But really busy. Not interested in engaging in conversation with me."

"His loss."

"Exactly my thought!" Lorelai's eyes twinkled at him. "Of course at the time I had no idea that he was _the_ Luke of Luke's Diner. I didn't even know it _was_ Luke's Diner that morning."

"Or Duke's," he said mildly.

"Or Duke's," she said, laughing. "Or Coffee Heaven. Whatever. All I knew was I needed a cup of coffee, which I tried my darnedest to explain to the hot guy behind the counter. And as I recall, he told me something along the lines of 'Cool your jets, have a seat, I'll get to you when I get to you.'"

Luke raised his eyebrows skeptically. "Really? He said 'cool your jets?'"

"Maybe those weren't his exact words, but that was definitely the message."

"I'm sure he was just a hard-working guy, trying to make it through the breakfast rush."

"Probably. But you know I couldn't leave it at that."

"You needed the coffee."

"I did indeed need the coffee." Lorelai beamed at him. "So I found a newspaper that somebody had left on the counter, and I politely asked the hot guy behind the counter when his birthday was –"

"Pestered him mercilessly," Luke cut in, editing her story.

" – and he _finally _told me he was a Scorpio, so I wrote something on the horoscope, tore it out and gave it to him, and he in turn forked over a cup of the best coffee I ever tasted!" she finished up. "Ta da! The end. Thus we come to the conclusion of Lorelai's tale of her first day in the diner." She looked at him, flushed and hopeful. "Did I get it right?"

"You got it right. You might have left out a sentence or two about being annoying, but it's basically right." He returned her smile, but then found he needed to shyly look down at the counter between them. "So, uh, what did you write on the horoscope that convinced him to give you the coffee?"

Lorelai scrunched up her face, looking pensive. "You know, I can't remember. Something about me going away?" She shook her head. "Maybe it'll come to me yet. Do you remember?"

"Probably something like that," he agreed blandly. He felt his face heat up and his wallet suddenly seemed to weigh a ton. "You want some more coffee now?" he asked, shifting away from the horoscope talk.

"Nope, I'm good for at least the next five minutes."

"OK, let me go make a run around the dining room again; check in on the kitchen."

"Sure." Lorelai went back to picking at the forlorn fruit pushed to the side of the plate.

* * *

When Luke returned, Lorelai instantly launched into an apology that sounded rehearsed, all about how sorry she was to not have remembered her first visit to the diner when it came up the night before.

"Hey, no big deal," he tried to tell her.

"But Luke, yes it was," she insisted. "To you it was a big deal."

He reached across the counter and put his hand on hers, the first time he'd touched her so far today. The feeling flooded through him instantly, the remembrance of her lips on his, the exquisite weight of her body lying on top of his. He took a deep breath and removed his hand. "I'm glad you remember it now, but I'm sorry you stayed awake thinking about it. It was just one measly day in our lives."

Her face was now the one looking flushed. She shook her head vigorously. "It was the first day in _our _life, Luke. It _was_ important. I should have remembered it," she berated herself. "But you have to realize what it's like in here." She tapped a finger against her forehead. "So much stuff crammed in here. All sorts of stuff with Rory that I have to remember, or I get drummed out of the Good Mom's Club. And lots and lots of lyrics to 80's ballads," she added. "You want to hear the second verse to 'Open Arms?'"

"Not particularly."

She nodded, as though she hadn't expected any other answer from him. "So I had to dive in, and peel, and peel, and peel some more through all of the crap I've got up in here. Like an onion, you know? And you need to think about how very many mornings I've walked through that door over there, and sat at this counter, and teased you pitilessly. There were an awful lot of days to sift through. But finally that coffee smell wafted through my memory, and it was all easy peasy after that."

He watched her settle more comfortably on the stool, like a student who had finished delivering a dreaded report in front of the class and could now relax.

Lorelai took another mouthful of coffee, then frowned. He was reaching for the pot, thinking the coffee must be cold for her to make that face, when she spoke.

"Don't remember the red lipstick, though."

He filled her cup anyway. "Trust me on that. It was red." He put the pot back on the warmer and leaned on the counter. "Red lipstick. Your hair was shorter then; the curls just brushed your shoulders. Navy blue jacket, sort of fitted to you. Red blouse; matched the lips. Navy skirt. Short." He took a sharp breath, then muttered, "_Really_ short. Can't tell you much about the heels, but I can describe your legs exactly if you want me to."

Luke worried for an instant that he'd said too much, revealed too much of what had been embedded in his head for too many years, but she laughed delightedly, and he could tell she was pleased. He started to think that maybe he'd get the hang of this yet.

"And you…" She pursed her lips, studying him. "An apron," she stated, after some serious thought. "You had on an apron. Black?"

"Uh, yeah." He shook his head. "I'd almost forgotten that, but yeah. For a couple of years after the diner first opened, I had the staff all wear black aprons, and I did too. Thought I needed to look professional, I guess." He delved a little further into his memory. "Or maybe the guy at the linen outlet just convinced me that was the way to go. Anyway, hadn't thought about that for years."

"Well…" Lorelai leaned forward, playfully patted his hand. "It really worked for you." She waggled her eyebrows up and down.

Luke felt like he'd lost the thread of the conversation. "The apron?"

"Yeah. Remember my comment about the hot guy behind the counter?"

"Because of the _apron_?"

"Well, sure. Tied all snug around your waist; open in the back so it showed off all your assets as you went tearing off around the diner." She continued to stare at him. "And…arms," she added, seemingly lost in another world.

"Arms?" he repeated, trying to bring her back.

"You had arms back then. Short sleeves?"

"Oh! Oh, yeah. We had t-shirts. Black t-shirts. Said 'Luke's' over the pocket." He pointed at the flannel pocket currently on his chest.

"What made you stop wearing them? 'Cause I have to tell you, seeing the skin was kind of nice."

"Yeah, well, bare skin isn't exactly what you're looking for when you're working the deep-fryer."

"Oh." Lorelai looked at the remains of her sandwich. "Yeah, you don't want to fry bacon naked, right?"

Luke winced. "Probably not a good idea, no."

"Doesn't seem like that would make any difference for the servers, though."

"But you know what it's like here. I've always done a lot of the cooking – now it's me or Caesar – but everyone runs back into the kitchen and drops an order of fries if needed. Plus I figured out that if I didn't have to pay for the shirts and the cleaning of them, I could afford to pad everybody's paycheck a little bit more. Decided that was more important than looking stylish."

"I guess," Lorelai grumbled. "You looked pretty cute in that apron, though."

"You're the cute one," Luke reminded her.

Lorelai sighed, then reached for his arm, pushing up his sleeve a little bit. Luke thought it had something to do with her reminiscing about his bare arm, but then he realized she was looking at his watch.

"I should probably get going," she observed apologetically.

"What's your plan for the rest of the day?"

"Well, Jackson was going to watch Davey so Sookie and I could go hit some antique shops in Woodbury. We're still trying to find some quirky bits and pieces to fill out a couple of the rooms. But thanks to me, we're getting a pretty late start. I think we'll just head to the Dragonfly instead and go over the punch lists. Take some final measurements; see what else needs to be done."

"Sorry our late night disturbed your plans."

"Nah, it's fine. If we go antiquing tomorrow, we'll have fewer shoppers to work around. And taking Davey with us really isn't a problem."

"Then…what? Quiet night at home?" He wanted to kick himself as soon as he heard his distinctly un-suave question.

But fortunately Lorelai only grinned at him. "Tell you what, you save a cup of coffee for me tonight, and I'll stop by on my way home. Would that be OK?"

"I can do that," he agreed, feeling pretty cheerful at how this had all worked out.

Lorelai pulled her billfold out of her purse, but he waved it away. "On me today. Consider it penance for your loss of sleep last night."

"OK. Thanks." She paused. "We'll have to talk about how we're going to handle this, but for today, I'll accept the freebie. Thanks," she said again, nodding.

She jumped down off the stool and began threading her way through the tables, heading for the door. Luke automatically came around the counter and followed her, hating to see her leave.

At the door she stopped, smiling uncertainly. "I'll see you later, then."

"Later," he parroted. He didn't have enough additional brain power to think of something original to say, because he was too busy calculating how many people were currently in the diner, adding them to the people he could see out on the street, watching Lorelai's alluring mouth, and wondering how fast the gossip would catch fire if he actually gave in to his desire to kiss her, right here, right now. Usually math came easy, but this problem was far beyond him today.

Meanwhile, Lorelai was tugging on his sleeve, sort of like the way he remembered she did last night at the start of their date.

"Bye, then," she added, largely unnecessarily. She searched his face, looking unsure, nodded once more, and then turned and exited.

Luke stood and watched until the Jeep had driven away. And then he tried to calculate how long it would be before he'd see her again.

* * *

He was in the kitchen, trying to find one more chore he could feasibly do to pad the lie that the diner's door remained unlocked because he was still working, when he finally heard the bells jingle.

"Am I too late?" she called.

"Nope, just in time!" he yelled out. He rushed out into the diner proper; glancing at the full coffeepot he'd kept on the warmer for her.

She was in the process of sitting down at the table closest to the counter, looking worn-out. "Hi," she said wearily.

"Hi." As much as he wanted some more time with her, he hated seeing the exhaustion obvious throughout her face and body. "Hey, you sure you just don't want to head on home? It's pretty late."

"Nope, I'm here now. And I do believe I was promised coffee."

He wanted to ask how she could possibly go home and sleep after drinking coffee this late at night, but he knew better than to get involved in that discussion again. Instead he went and filled a mug and brought it over to her.

"Thanks," she sighed, cradling her hands around it and inhaling deeply.

He traveled to the door, where he flipped the sign to 'Closed,' then dropped the blinds and turned the lock before joining her at the table.

"Last customer of the day, huh?" she asked, smiling at him wanly.

"Favorite customer of the day." Geez, he couldn't believe he'd just said that.

"Oh?" Her eyes started to sparkle a little bit again and her shoulders straightened a tad from their weary slump. Maybe he wasn't sorry he'd said that after all.

"So are you trying to remind me how cute you are?" He reached over and tapped against a green bandana tied around her head.

"Do I really _need _to remind you of that?" she pretended to scold him. Grinning, she pointed at the ivory paint splotches on her arm. "No, I decided to do some painting after Sookie went home. I've learned the hard way that I need to keep the paint out of my hair. So the bandana is strictly functional. The fact that it's also cute is just icing on the cake."

"You painted? Why?"

She shrugged. "Needed to be done. And every room I do cuts down on Tom's bill a little bit."

Alarmed, he sat up straight, putting his hands flat on the table. "Why? What's going on? Are you short again? If you are, I can –"

"No." She cut him off, shaking her head hard. "It's…" She drummed her fingers thoughtfully against the mug, then took a sip before answering further. "I need to learn frugality," she finally said. "Now that I'm the owner, I need to be looking for ways to contain costs. It's like what you said earlier today, about cutting out the t-shirts for your staff. Painting is something I can do, and not only does it save some money, it also saves the construction crew some time. They can come in tomorrow and get busy on another project, instead of wasting time painting. It makes sense for me to dig in and do it. And, as you know, I _like_ painting!" She smiled at him reassuringly.

"But still…" Luke shook his head at her, unable to come to peace with how hard she was driving herself to get the Dragonfly ready in time for the already-scheduled opening. "If you need help, just say so. If nobody else can help you, I can."

"Michel's still working full-time at his other job, and Sookie has Davey. The Dragonfly's my baby, Luke. I don't mind putting my time in on it."

"And when you drop dead from exhaustion, who's going to oversee everything then?" he grumbled.

She waved off his concern. "Hey, you keep supplying me with coffee, and I'll be good to go."

"Lorelai," he started.

"Luke, it's only a couple of weeks more. This is the home stretch. It'll be over and done with soon. I can hold out until then." She looked down at the coffee swirling in her mug. "Anyway, there's no choice about it, so I have to. End of discussion."

"But," he insisted, "I'd like to help you. All you have to do is let me know what I could do."

"You mean, besides the 30 grand?"

He sighed, as if the money was inconsequential. "Yes, let me know what I can do so you're not up until 10 o'clock every night painting."

"It's not every night. And I could point out how _you_ are in _your_ business pretty much 24/7, but I won't."

She wasn't wrong. He sighed again. "Yeah, running your own business is hard. You are on call 24/7. But even though that's a fact, it doesn't mean I want to see you getting all run down as you find that out."

"Eh, I can handle it," she smiled. Suddenly she tilted her head thoughtfully, then whipped it around to look at the counter. "Huh!" she said brightly, turning back to face him again with an even sunnier smile. "I just thought of something we need to do at the Dragonfly!"

"What?"

"Nuh-huh, not telling," she teased. "But I'll include you when we do it, since it's all thanks to you that I got the idea."

He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Guess I can wait then."

"Yes you will, and you will love it." Lorelai nodded with certainty. "Say, what does a girl have to do to get a piece of pie to go along with her coffee?"

"Paint a room," he muttered, getting up to plate her a piece.

"Thanks!"

"You want it warmed up?"

"Not tonight. Too much work."

"Me putting a plate in a microwave for five seconds is too much work, but you painting a whole room is just fine?"

"In my world, yes."

"OK," he capitulated, too tired to argue further. He put the plate and a fork in front of her before sitting down heavily once again in his chair.

"Yum," Lorelai said, her standard response when food was involved. She put the fork to use instantly.

"So can I ask you something?" she queried between bites.

"Sure," Luke shrugged.

"Earlier today, when we were talking about the first time I stepped foot in the diner, and you gave that in-depth description of what I was wearing…" She paused, looking up from the pie to study him, her face carefully composed. "It sounded like you were really into me, that first time you saw me."

Cautiously, he evaluated the responses he could give. "You're a very pretty woman, Lorelai. Of course I took note of you."

"It sounded like more than that," she said inflexibly. "It sounded like you…What I'm wondering is, if I made that big of an impression on you, why didn't you ask me out?" She shook her head, confused. "Were you dating someone then?"

"No, not right then."

"Then why not?"

Luke closed his eyes, feeling every one of the hours he'd been up. Having an exhaustive discussion with Lorelai yet tonight was not something he especially wanted to do. But she was here because he'd high-handedly told her that she needed to prove herself to him, so…

"I didn't know who you were, to start with," he began. "I mean, I knew I could ask and find out easily enough, but then that would fire up the rumor brigade, and I didn't want that. So I watched for you. Started going to town meetings again. Walked through the park." He shook his head. "Could have kicked myself, when I found out you worked at the Inn. If I had visited Mia more, I probably would have spotted you years earlier."

"So how did you find out who I was?"

He swallowed hard. "I saw you one day. Outside the elementary school. Waiting for Rory."

"Oh." She looked at him strangely, probably because he was fidgeting uncomfortably. "But you didn't say anything?"

"No."

"Was there a reason?" Lorelai asked the question calmly, but he could see she was already tensing up, preparing to be disappointed.

He decided to man up. "Rory," he answered honestly, but hating to do it.

"Oh," she said again, and there it was. Not only had he managed to hurt her, but he'd let her down, too. She bit her lip and looked at her plate, her fork dragging designs through the cherry juice there.

"I know you'd already been a mom for a long time, Lorelai, but to me, that was a whole other world than the one I knew. I wasn't ready to be a parent, and I couldn't imagine being with anyone who was. I knew some guys who'd gotten involved with single moms, and it never ended up good for anyone. There was always a jealous ex and a kid yelling 'you're not my real dad!'" Luke shook his head. "I swore I'd never get involved in a situation like that."

He waited for Lorelai to respond, but she was uncharacteristically silent, still staring unseeingly at her plate.

"No matter how pretty and sexy the mom was," he added, hoping to make her smile.

She still sat with her shoulders painfully hunched forward.

He exhaled. "Of course, I had a hard time believing you _were_ her mom, you looked so young. But I heard Babette talking about you, so then I knew it was true."

Her perfunctory nod told him she'd heard him, and that she was still hurting.

"Hey." He reached out, putting an apologetic hand on hers, hoping to yet turn this around. "Don't you want to hear what changed my mind?"

Her head snapped up, looking at him hopefully. She raised one shoulder up and down, trying to come across like she didn't really care. "What?" she asked, her voice carefully neutral.

"Rory," he said, smiling as big as he could.

"Rory?"

"Rory," he confirmed. "Once summer vacation began, you started coming in more, bringing her in with you. And she was such a great kid, Lorelai. I didn't know many kids, but definitely I'd never been around one like her. She was so smart, and so polite, and so funny. Wise beyond her years, you know? It got to where I looked forward to seeing her, and I was almost disappointed when you came in without her."

Lorelai chanced a smile, pleased that he was complimenting her kid.

"And gradually I realized that the reason Rory was such a great kid was because _you_ were such a great mom."

"Sometimes I doubt that," Lorelai said, easily discounting her role in Rory's upbringing. "She _is_ a great kid. She came out of the womb already great. I just made sure she didn't starve."

"You were a great mom. You_ are_ a great mom."

Lorelai made a non-committal gesture with her shoulders, watching him. "But still, you didn't make a move."

He felt defeated again. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because you were such a great mom." She looked at him curiously, and he tried to find enough energy to give her a proper explanation. "I watched you with Rory, how involved you were with her. It was pretty obvious she was your world, Lorelai. I picked up from conversations I overheard that you dated some, but you weren't looking for anything serious. It started to seem really selfish to me, to even think about trying to shift some of your focus away from Rory."

She began to look a little irritated. "Shouldn't that have been _my_ call, Luke? Seems like maybe_ I_ should have had a say on whether or not I could have handled a relationship and a daughter at the same time!"

"You _did_ have a say, Lorelai. You came in here a couple of times a week, at least, and we did the bantering; the flirting; whatever it is that we've been doing for the past eight years. If you had wanted to start dating me, one little sign would have been all it took. But that never happened, because _you_ never thought about it." The last line he delivered with a hint of the frustration that had built up over those years.

Her cheeks colored and she looked even more vexed. "Fine. Maybe you're right. Maybe I was focused mostly on motherhood right then. But I still don't understand how you could have kept silent all that time."

Luke stared out over her shoulder, wishing he could just skip some of the history. "There might have been a…a Rachel period in there."

"Oh." Her eyes got big, and then she looked quickly away, nodding too emphatically. "I see."

"Yeah," he sighed. "She'd gotten a job that was going to keep her in the U.S., at least, and she convinced me that meant she was ready to settle down here with me. We tried, for a while. Until the next, biggest, brightest thing beckoned, and she was off again. Full of regrets, of course, for hurting me, but…that's just the way it was."

"Sorry," Lorelai mumbled, giving a crumbled piece of piecrust a vicious stab with her fork.

"In those days, when Rachel would pack up and go again…it would leave me…empty, for a while." Luke cleared his throat, uncomfortable at having to explain this all to her. "My self-confidence would nose-dive. It would take a long time for me to get back to normal again; to think that I had any kind of chance at a happy life again. It always did get better, but it was a long process."

"And I was oblivious to it all," Lorelai said sourly.

"Like I said, you were focused on Rory."

"Maybe I was," she had to admit. "And then, once you did get back to normal? What then?"

He shrugged. "We had gotten to be pretty good friends by that time. It seemed wrong, by then, to think of you in a – a romantic way," he explained, faltering while trying to find an acceptable word. "And it seemed useless, since you didn't see me in that light, anyway."

She stared at him. "Maybe you're right; maybe I wasn't looking for a serious relationship back then. I'm not sure I saw anybody as a potential partner during those years. Trying to maintain a serious relationship seemed like too much work, and I didn't have the time to devote to it. But that doesn't mean I never looked at you and thought 'What if?' Because I did, Luke. I amused myself over many plates of hamburgers and fries, watching you; appreciating you; wondering what would happen if I'd…" She let herself trail off, becoming self-conscious, dropping her gaze. "And you're also right, we'd become pretty good pals. And it seemed wrong, lusting after your pal."

"_Yes_," Luke said, with such feeling that it made Lorelai look up and laugh.

"Well, at least we agree about that," she chuckled.

They smiled at each other until a huge yawn split Lorelai's face. "Oops, sorry," she mumbled, waving a hand in front of her gaping mouth.

"It's OK," Luke said, not able to contain a yawn of his own.

"I think that's my cue to leave." Lorelai stood up, pushing her chair in under the table. She pulled the bandana off of her head and stuck it in a pocket of her jeans, then ran a hand through her hair, trying to fluff it into place. "Listen, I'm not sure exactly when I'll be in tomorrow. I'll stop by in the morning, if there's enough time before I have to go pick up Sookie –"

"You don't have to do that," Luke insisted, getting up from his chair too.

"Of course I do." She sounded a little testy.

"No, you don't. I understand how busy you are; how crazy things are for you right now. There's no need for you to jump through all sorts of hoops just to stop by the diner."

He thought he was being completely reasonable. He didn't understand the glare shooting from Lorelai's eyes, aimed at him.

"Yes, I do," she said heatedly.

"No, you don't."

"Damn it, Luke, you don't get to do this! You don't get to have it both ways!" She slammed her hands down on the table. "You don't get to be all high-and-mighty one night, and tell me you don't trust me, and that it's all up to me to prove that I want to be in this relationship with you, and then the next night tell me it just doesn't matter!" She came up and stood directly in front of him, her hands on her hips, anger still burning out of her eyes. "So just tell me, does this matter to you or not? Do I keep trying to show you I care about you or do I just let it drop? Are you finally ready to make a move on me, or are we still just good pals?"

It took him a moment or two to find his tongue, partly because she looked so incredibly sexy, standing there before him in a blaze of righteous indignation, her hair tousled and the most adorable freckles of paint dotting her nose. "It matters," he finally managed to croak out. "It matters a lot."

She sucked in a breath and he saw some of the anger dissipate. "OK then. It's important, and I'll be in tomorrow."

"Good," he said. "No matter when I see you, it will be good."

"OK," she said again, a little mollified. She started for the door.

"Lorelai, wait," he said urgently, reaching for her arm. Suddenly, he knew. Keeping things from her now wasn't doing him a bit of good.

"What?"

He locked eyes with her and slowly reached for his wallet.

"You're paying _me _for eating your pie?" she questioned, her eyebrows raised. "Although I guess I should have at least offered to pay for it. Sorry."

He shook his head, not really listening to her anymore. Without a word he located the tiny scrap of paper. Refusing to second guess himself, he held it out to her.

She took it from him but continued to look into his face instead of seeing what was now in her hand. Finally she lowered her head, trying to decipher the faded bit of newsprint.

"Oh, my…This is the horoscope! This is what I wrote that morning!" She smiled blindingly at him.

He nodded, not saying anything else, letting her take it in.

"Wait…"

Luke knew her so well. He could see it now, her thought processes working overtime as she put together all of the pieces.

"_You will meet an annoying woman today. Give her coffee and she'll go away."_ Lorelai read her own handwriting and then looked at him, her smile no longer as strong. "But I didn't go away," she almost whispered.

"No," he agreed. Thankfully.

"You kept this."

"Yes."

"All of these years, you've kept this."

"Yeah."

"Why did you keep it, Luke?"

"Because you told me to."

She shook her head, dazed. "I told you to?"

"You said I should put it in my wallet, and that someday it would bring me luck." He looked at her more openly than he possibly ever had. "I'm starting to think it finally has."

"Oh, _Luke."_ She leaned back against the table, crumbling, covering her face with her hands.

"Oh, hey now, Lorelai…" He moved closer to her, wanting to comfort, and she threw her arms around his waist, drawing him tight, burying her face in his chest. "It's OK," he murmured, stroking those tousled curls.

"I'm not going away, Luke. I might still be an annoying woman, but I'm not going away. Not ever. You hear me?"

"I hear you," he agreed, holding her still against him.

After a minute of cuddling and comfort, she took a deep breath and pushed away a little bit. She rubbed at her face. "Sorry," she said. "I think the lack of sleep has taken away my ability to regulate my emotions." She looked up at him, her eyes still glittering. "Plus, it just hit me what an amazing guy you are, to have kept this all these years."

"Maybe I just don't clean out my wallet very often," he offered as an excuse, tucking the tiny piece of paper back away again.

"Really?" Lorelai put her hand on his arm. "Is that really why it's there? You just never got around to throwing it out?"

He reminded himself why he showed it to her to start with. "No. Throwing it away was never an option."

"Like I said, you're an amazing guy." She rubbed his arm, then stood up away from the table. "I should go," she said reluctantly. "Too tired. Too many emotions poking through."

They walked to the door for the second time that day. "You want me to drive you home?"

"Why?" Lorelai smiled at him wonderingly.

"Because you're awfully tired. I want to make sure you get home OK."

"And you're not tired?" She chuckled. "Besides, the Jeep's sitting right out there. I'll be fine."

"Still…I wish I could think of a way so you didn't have to drive home."

She looked at him oddly, and it almost seemed like she shot a second look, a stealthy one, over his shoulder, towards the rear of the diner. But then she took a breath and moved a little closer to the door, stopping once she got there. Hesitantly, she turned to face him again.

"There was something I was wondering. I was wondering about it earlier today too, when I was here before. It's just, after last night, after what we did last night…It almost seems wrong to leave without some sort of a…physical goodbye."

The breath was already leaving his body. "You want a kiss goodbye?" His voice sounded far away, because his brain was already starting to celebrate getting to kiss her again.

"We don't have to," she back-tracked immediately, reaching for the door.

He stopped her. "No, I think…I thought the same thing. When you were here earlier. When we were standing here. I wanted to kiss you then. Like you say, it seems wrong somehow, not to."

"So maybe it would be OK, as long as nobody's around?"

He took her as gently as he could in his arms, shifting his position until they were face-to-face. "Earlier today, I didn't even care if people _were_ around. It was all I could do to let you go, Lorelai."

She tipped back her head and studied his face. Carefully she reached up and took off his hat, smoothing back his hair, then tossed the hat onto a table.

He brought her in to him a little closer, letting her body settle against his. Then slowly he bent his head, anticipating the pull of her lips in just one more second, then wondering if it was possible that time had stopped because that second was lasting forever…

…But finally they connected and his world went fuzzy, almost as if he was drunk, but yet everything was clear and sharp at the same time. He could feel everything. Every tremor in her body, her heartbeat, her arms locking around his back. And he knew, right then and there, even if he got to kiss her like this every single night for the rest of his life, he'd never get enough.

They seemed to come to the same conclusion at the same time, which was that if they didn't stop now, it was doubtful they ever would. Slowly they broke apart, and slowly they came back to the world of the diner and the late hour and the fact that it was time for Lorelai to go home.

"Goodnight," she whispered, hugging him tightly one more time. Then she flipped the lock open on the door and walked out without looking back at him.

"See you tomorrow," he called after her, his voice hoarse.

He peeked through a window, watching her drive away. Then he took her plate and cup to the kitchen, rinsing them off and sticking them in the dishwasher. He dumped what was left of the pot of coffee and turned off the burner.

It wasn't until he pushed through the curtain to head upstairs that he understood her odd look and the quick glance back this way.

_Geez_, he thought, shaking his head as he tiredly climbed the stairs, _I really am that stupid._


	3. The Woman in His Wallet

Lorelai knocked lightly on Sookie's door early Wednesday morning.

She'd been told many times over the years that she didn't need to knock, and indeed, there was a time when she did treat Sookie's house as an extension of her own, going in and out of her friend's front door with just a casual shout of greeting. But that was before she'd caught Jackson in nothing but his boxers in the kitchen one too many times, and before a baby boy who slept as fretfully as a princess with a pea in the bed came along. So now, she knocked.

Sookie eventually came to the door, Davey in her arms. "You don't need to knock," she scolded Lorelai cheerfully. "I knew you were coming."

"Yeah, well, you know I'm a rebel like that," Lorelai said, not wanting to get into the whole knock/don't knock conundrum. "Hey, Davey," she crooned, pretending to snatch at his bare tiny toes. The little boy babbled and hid his face shyly against his mommy's shoulder.

"Come on in. I made waffles!" Sookie backed away from the door, letting Lorelai past.

"Best thing about meeting at your house," Lorelai told her. "At least I know I'll get fed."

Sookie scoffed while putting Davey into a highchair. "Right, I know that's a great fear for you. Starvation has got to be a real concern, since you only make three or four trips to the diner every day. What I'm actually surprised about is that you have any room left for non-Luke food at all."

"I don't eat every time I go to the diner," Lorelai protested. "Sometimes it's just coffee, because he's still not letting me pay. Besides, I haven't been there yet today. And in any case, you know your food sets the gold standard. You don't go to a diner when you crave beef bourguignon." She moved over to her friend and squeezed her shoulders with a quick hug of reassurance.

"Luke's no slouch in the kitchen," Sookie admitted graciously. "If he'd just be more open on his choice of condiments, his burgers could be 4-star."

"Condiment Nazi," Lorelai observed in mock-chastisement.

Before heading to her well-filled countertop, Sookie gave Lorelai a saucy smile. "I bet he's no slouch in some _other_ rooms, either."

"Probably," Lorelai said in a tone she hoped conveyed how much she didn't want to discuss that. "Wow, Sookie, what smells so good? It doesn't smell like waffles."

Sookie began whipping lids and aluminum foil off of pans and trays. "I started thinking there's no reason waffles have to sweet. Why can't they be savory too? So I put a whole bunch of different things in the batter." She started pointing down the counter. "There's bacon, sausage, chorizo, ham, and pancetta. And then for toppings..." She started pointing at bowls lined up on the opposite counter. "There's peppers and onions, mango salsa, a thick cheese sauce, and of course, maple syrup."

"Wow," Lorelai said again, her eyes bugging out. "_Babette's Feast_."

"What?" Sookie whirled around, looking confused. "Babette's coming?"

"No, no." Lorelai waved her hands, still staring at the bountiful food. "This looks incredible."

"Dig in. And then agree with me that this would be a good idea for breakfast at the Dragonfly."

Lorelai grabbed a plate and tried to find room for a sample of everything. "This might be a little extravagant for us, at least at the beginning."

"But we need to stand out, to do something different," Sookie argued.

Lorelai couldn't answer right away. Her eyes were closed in bliss, chewing a piece of the bacon-stuffed waffle. "Tell you what," she suggested after swallowing, "work up a cost breakdown for me, OK? Show me how much a spread like this would cost us. If it's feasible, we'll do it. But you know we'll probably have to watch the pennies for the first few months. After that…well, we'll see."

"Fine," Sookie grumbled. She perked up slightly. "But it's good, right?"

"Oh, my God. So good," Lorelai agreed, her mouth full. "This right here?" She pointed at the mango salsa. "Do you have enough of it for me to take home and fill the bathtub with? Because that would be awesome."

"What if I did this only on Sundays, sort of like a weekend special? Or maybe on Wednesdays, to entice guests into staying over for another day during the week?"

"Tell me how much it'll cost, Sook. I'm not saying no, but we've got to watch the bottom line, OK?" Lorelai scraped the last of the sauce from her plate. "In the meantime, pass me the maple syrup."

The maple syrup was passed. The mango salsa bowl was licked clean. Davey was cooed over and distracted with Cheerios. The piles of waffles disappeared as the two friends bounced from topic to topic, from town rumors to the color of the stain being used on the chair rails in the Dragonfly dining room. Finally they got up from the table, stacking their used plates in the sink.

"Somebody else's feeding time," Sookie sighed, when Davey began to fuss in earnest.

"Do you want me to?" Lorelai offered. "Or let me clean up, and you do what mommies do so well."

"Take Davey, if you wouldn't mind." Sookie snatched a bottle out of the refrigerator and started to warm it up. "I was up with him so much last night. I mean, I love the little rascal, but my arms would appreciate a break from the pacifying."

"No problem." Lorelai went over and extricated Davey from the highchair, swaying him back and forth soothingly until his bottle was ready.

"We're not bad people for telling Michel we're meeting at 8:30, when we actually start at 7:30, right?" Sookie asked, bringing the bottle over to Lorelai. She ran a comforting hand over her son's back. "Sometimes I need to have that confirmed."

Lorelai settled into a recliner that was technically in the living room, but positioned so that she could still see Sookie in the kitchen. "We're not bad people," she said in a soft, sing-songy voice, smiling down at Davey cradled in her arms. She brought the bottle to his eager mouth, smiling even more when the miniature fingers grasped hers holding the bottle. "You know that if Michel was here, he would have turned that snooty nose of his up at everything you'd made. He would have refused to eat one bite of waffle. He would have sat there the whole time, complaining that we dragged him out of bed an hour early just to make him watch us eat. And he would have done this in his usual superior manner while sipping his one cup of herbal tea. We do him a favor by fudging the start time for him. You know we won't actually discuss the important Dragonfly stuff until he gets here. Besides, when else will we have the chance to get our girl talk in?"

"Speaking of girl talk…" Sookie turned around at the sink, beaming a devilish smile at Lorelai. "How goes it with Project Luke? Has he succumbed to your charms yet?"

Lorelai stared at Davey for a moment, considering her words. She knew getting quizzed about Luke would be the price she paid for the amazing breakfast she'd just experienced. And truthfully, she didn't mind opening up. Wouldn't have minded even if she hadn't been plied with waffles first. Talking tricky things over with Sookie often made them clearer in her head.

"No succumbing," she finally answered. "At least, not in the way you're meaning. But the thing that's between us – friendship, or whatever it is we've always sort of felt about each other – that's deeper than it was. I feel like I'm getting to know him for the first time, and that's definitely good. I'm finding out I like him even more than I thought I did. At first I was so affronted that he insisted I step back and think about what we're doing, but now I think…" She shook her head, and Davey reached up and anchored his fist in a strand of her hair that waved over him. "Now I think he's smarter than I ever gave him credit for," she finished, giving the drowsy little boy in her arms a melting smile.

"You're still getting the kiss when you leave, right?" Sookie asked worriedly.

Lorelai took in a sharp breath. "Oh, _yeah_."

Sookie smirked. "Still making your toes curl, huh?"

"Forget the toes curling. The polish on my toenails gets melted off."

"But nothing else happens?"

"Oh, something else happens, all right. I go home and climb into bed and then hope he's tossing and turning in sexual frustration at 2 A.M. as much as I am," she said with grim humor.

"You'll convince him of your good intentions soon," ever-optimistic Sookie predicted.

"But here's the thing, Sook. I'm not sure he's wrong."

"About what?"

"About me. About hurting him."

"Lorelai! You are _not_ going to hurt Luke!"

"Not intentionally, no. Of course not. I never intend to hurt anyone. Well, except my mother, occasionally. And Missy Greenville, back in high school, when she tried to kiss Christopher between Chemistry and Trig one day. Oh, and that nurse who wheeled me into the delivery room. Other than that, I never mean to hurt anyone. It's just a byproduct of dating me."

"You're being ridiculous."

"No, I'm not. What I am is terrified. Ever since he showed me that horoscope on Sunday night, I've been terrified. Eight years, Sook. _Eight years_. I counted it up. He's carried that thing around for eight years. Let's face it, there's no way I'm measuring up to that dream girl he's been fixated on for eight years!"

Her voice rose along with her fears. Davey stopped nursing and opened his eyes, frowning at her distrustfully. Lorelai took a calming breath and smiled at him sweetly, poking his mouth encouragingly with the bottle until he became interested in eating again.

"OK, I agree that the first time Luke saw you, he probably did see you in an unrealistic light, but like you say, it's been eight years. Eight years of him watching you gobble food, swear like a sailor, and battle with Taylor. He's seen you without makeup, Lorelai. He's seen you sick with the flu. I don't think he views you through rose-colored glasses anymore." At the sink, Sookie nodded with satisfaction, either from scouring a crusted pan clean, or her comments to Lorelai. "And besides, I think the fact that he kept the horoscope all of these years is one of the sweetest things I've ever heard."

"It is sweet," Lorelai agreed. "That first night I went back and forth between stalker and sweet, and landed on sweet. But the sweet is another problem."

"Oh, come on! How can sweet possibly be a problem?" The water in the sink splashed, echoing Sookie's displeasure.

"Because it showed me I've had an unrealistic vision of Luke all of these years, too. I mean, I knew he had this warm side all hidden away. All you had to do was look at the way he's always had such a soft heart when it came to Rory, or the way he tried so hard with Jess. But still, to me he's always been so dependable; such a rock. Just sturdy and strong and immovable, and I liked that about him. But now there's the horoscope, and what he said about Rachel, and I see that he's just as vulnerable as anyone else."

Sookie stopped the power dishwashing and turned around, her eyes bugging out. "Wait. He talked about Rachel? To you?"

"Uh, yeah. A little bit." Lorelai looked over at Sookie, frowning slightly.

"Oh my God." Sookie grabbed a dishtowel and came closer, drying her hands. "What did he say?"

"Not much. Just that after each time she left, he was a mess. That it took him a long time to pick up the pieces." She swallowed hard, keeping her eyes on Davey. "I got the impression that he felt like he'd been kicked to the curb. That it pretty much destroyed his self-confidence when she left him."

"Wow." Sookie leaned her hip against the table, idly pulling the dishcloth through her fingers. "That's huge, him admitting that to you. I don't think he's ever said one word to anyone about Rachel. I remember Mia going over and trying to check on him, and he wouldn't even open the door to her. After a while we all knew to leave him alone and pretend she hadn't even existed."

"Well, I don't want to be Rachel No. 2. I don't want to hurt him like that. I don't have some glamorous job that will take me halfway around the world, either. I'd be stuck right here in Stars Hollow, watching him suffer. I couldn't stand that."

"And you'd be suffering, too," Sookie pointed out calmly.

"Me?"

"Your heart would be broken, too."

Lorelai scoffed mildly, mindful of the almost-sleeping baby in her arms. "You forget, I'm the one who does the hurting."

"Usually," Sookie affably agreed. "But this time is different. Luke's not letting you do your usual thing here. Instead of diving in and reconsidering later, he's making you do the heavy lifting first. This has already gone far past casual, Lorelai. You've already done more soul-searching in this relationship than you usually do after months of being with other guys. If this doesn't work out, your heart's ending up in smithereens, too."

"Well, thanks for that reassurance, Mrs. Cheerful." Lorelai glared at her friend. "Great pep talk. Really makes me want to throw all caution to the wind."

"Just sayin'." Sookie grinned and went back to the sink.

Lorelai didn't speak for a while, lost in her thoughts. She listened to the swish and gurgle of the dishes being washed, and she studied Davey sinking deeper and deeper into sleep, his delicate mouth only occasionally tugging at the nipple of the bottle.

"So how many more are there?" she finally asked, her voice extra-quiet.

"How many what?"

"Rachels." She took a deep breath. "Her I know about, and I pretty much understand that whole relationship. I know about Nicole. I'll never _understand _the thing with Nicole, but I know about it. But who else? How many other exes does Luke have?"

"Gee, I don't know." Sookie's shoulders stilled as she thought, and then shrugged. "I mean, I know the guy dated. He's not a monk. But I don't remember any hot-and-heavy romances, if that's what you're asking."

"Really?" The word broke out of Lorelai unexpectedly, bathed in relief. She hadn't realized she'd cared so much.

"Oh, wait. There was…Darn, what was her name?"

"Who?"

"Anita…or Abigail…or something like that…"

"Who was she? When?" Lorelai asked sharply. She realized she was sitting up straight on the recliner, her arms tightening around Davey. She forced herself to ease up, to cradle the baby gently.

"About the same time Luke opened the diner." Sookie nodded. "Seems like he dated her for a year or two. No one could ever figure out what they saw in each other. Well, besides the superficial, anyway."

"She was pretty?" Lorelai asked contemptuously.

"Oh, yeah. More than pretty. Like, exotic. Really striking."

"Really." Lorelai made no attempt to modify the sourness she felt.

"Yeah, but you know that expression, 'pretty is as pretty does?'"

"Sure."

"Well, I don't know that I ever understood it until I was around her. She would have been a lot prettier if she would have acted a little friendlier when she was in town. She always sort of had a sneer on her face, like it was _so_ beneath her to be in Stars Hollow."

"She didn't live here?"

"No, she was from another town, sort of close by, I think. Litchfield, maybe?"

"Nicole lives in Litchfield," Lorelai reminded her grimly.

"Somewhere else, then." Sookie shrugged again. "It's been a long time."

"When they broke up, did Luke mope over her, too?"

"Not that I recall. He was pretty busy with the diner. I think his life just went on."

"Why did they break up?"

"I have no idea about that. You'd have to ask him."

"Maybe I will," Lorelai muttered, mostly to herself.

Sookie turned around. "Is he out?" she asked quietly, motioning at Davey.

Lorelai nodded. Even though she was battling crazy jealousy over some unknown girl who had been out of the picture for years, she still had to smile goofily over the cuddly little boy asleep in her arms.

Sookie dried off her hands again and came over to them, bending slightly to scoop Davey out of Lorelai's clutches. Pulled by the lure of the baby, Lorelai followed them up the stairs, watching from the doorway like the doting almost-aunt she was while Sookie laid him down in his crib.

When Sookie joined her, they both drank in the precious sight of him sweetly asleep for a few moments.

"You know, you looked really good like that," Sookie observed casually.

"Like what?"

"Holding a baby in your arms."

A few seconds of stunned silence passed before Lorelai turned to her friend. "I don't…I don't even know how to respond to that. What do you even mean by that?"

"It means you. A baby. Tick-tock." Sookie pointed at Lorelai's midsection. "Don't tell me that's not in the back of your mind."

"You think I want a _baby_?"

"Don't you?"

"I don't – I don't know." She felt cranky and abused, like every conversation she'd had for the past five days had somehow beaten her up. "I'm not even sure I want a relationship right now, not if they're this hard."

"Welcome to the real world. Yeah, being a mature grown-up sucks. Boo-hoo. But come on, Lorelai, admit it. Why did you finally want to date Luke?"

"Because – because he's sweet, and solid, and a good guy!"

"And because you know he'd make a steady, dependable partner and a great dad."

"Sookie! That is not – I am not looking for – that's not why I asked him out!" Lorelai sputtered, trying to refute her.

"Maybe it's not why you asked him out, but it's the reason you're jumping through hoops now to get to be with him. You're sensing that this could be the real thing, and you don't want to blow it."

Lorelai's offended feelings settled down. "I _don't_ want to blow this," she admitted. "And maybe…yeah, maybe I did start to see Luke in a more long-term way. But I don't know that I'm ready for everything you're talking about yet. And I don't know that he's ever going to see _me_ as a serious possibility."

Sookie smiled, pleased at being right. "I don't think you have to worry about how Luke sees you. Just don't lie to him. Or me. Or to yourself!"

"Honesty. Got it," Lorelai grumbled, rolling her eyes.

A heavy knock sounded from the front door, and she and Sookie looked at each other, then worriedly over at Davey, confirming that he was still asleep.

"Since honesty is such a big deal to you, why don't you go down and let Michel in. You know, our partner who you lied to about our meeting time this morning?" Lorelai suggested sweetly.

Sookie's eyes grew bigger, the guilt kicking in. "Damn," she muttered, but turned and clattered down the stairs, trying to reach the door before Michel could knock again.

Lorelai started to follow her, but her eyes insisted on one more glance back at the sleeping baby. "Ridiculous," she whispered firmly. But even so, her hand hovered gently over her abdomen as she walked downstairs.

* * *

By the time Lorelai pulled the Jeep to a stop across from the diner, she felt pretty good about the execution of her day. She'd had extra-yummy waffles, a good talk with her best pal, an amazingly productive meeting with a non-annoying Michel concerning the new hires at the Dragonfly, and now she was at the diner in time for lunch. She couldn't have planned the day better.

While scampering across the street, a sudden vision of Luke fawning over an 'exotic' beauty popped into her brain, but she shook her head hard and demanded it leave.

She pulled open the door, a smile of anticipation already brightening her face. It left abruptly when she spied the backside of a strange woman standing behind the counter. Luke stood next to whoever she was, gazing tolerantly at her. The woman raised her arms up over her head and did some sort of a shimmy step, her sandy-blonde hair shaking back and forth across the top of her shoulders. Luke laughed – _laughed!_ – and gave the woman a quick hug.

Lorelai stopped. All she could do was stare at the scene behind the counter; she had no power left to put into such trivial things as walking or blinking her eyes. It wasn't until a small poke of pain came from her chest – possibly from one tiny smithereen of her heart breaking off – that she took a breath and realized that she needed to keep moving.

Slowly she walked the rest of the way to the counter, her dry mouth feeling like she'd tried to eat a stick of chalk. "Hey," she croaked out, not even trying to smile.

Luke's attention instantly jumped to her, the previous laugh dissipating. The woman twirled around to face her, her long gypsy skirt swirling around her legs.

"Lorelai!"

"Liz." Relief made her knees wobbly, made her ashamed of her sudden bout of inexplicable jealousy. Feeling guilty, she glanced at Luke quickly before bringing her attention back to Liz. "Wow, it's good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too!" Liz's head bobbed in enthusiasm.

She still felt awkward, so she employed her babbling coping mechanism, letting the words pour out without giving much thought to what she was actually saying. "I guess blood really is thicker than water, huh? There you are, back behind the counter in no man's land. It's obvious family trumps girlfriend, because he sure won't let me back there."

Lorelai had one second to register Luke's look of alarm before Liz let out a screech of joy.

"You guys are dating? I knew it! I knew the two of you were destined to be together! I have a real feel for these things, you know. Why didn't you tell me?" The last comment was directed at Luke, along with a playful slap to his arm. "I'm so happy for you, Big Bro!"

Taking her cue from Luke's look of distress, Lorelai tried to play down what she'd said. "Well, I wouldn't say that we're _dating_, exactly. We've had _one_ date. So we're, you know, sort of just testing the waters…" She trailed off, Luke now watching her suspiciously.

"Why have you only had one date?" Liz asked in bemusement. "Well, it doesn't matter. Your second date can be at my wedding!"

"You're getting married?" Lorelai asked, grateful to switch topics. She watched Luke give her a quick shake of his head.

"Yes! I'm getting married!" Liz waved her left hand in Lorelai's face. Lorelai caught a glimpse of what looked like a silver Celtic knot.

"That's fantastic, Liz. Really. Congratulations."

"Thanks. It's T.J., of course. Did you meet him when we were in town before?"

"No, I didn't." She glanced at a scowling Luke. "I've heard Luke mention him, though," she added innocently, trying not to laugh at Luke's look of revulsion.

"T.J. is my destiny. I knew it from the moment we met. My life hasn't been the same since he walked up to me and told me that tiny earrings needed a big sign. Whoa, talk about a sign, huh? Literally, a sign. So how about you two? What prompted the two of you to finally get together?"

"Oh, you know. The usual," Lorelai said vaguely, trying to ignore Luke's glowering at her. "One day friends, the next…more than friends. Kind of. More like a…friendlier sort of friends." She put a hand on the counter, trying to find more solid ground. "But you! Getting married! Wow!"

"Yeah, I really think this is the one that's going to take," Liz said seriously. "That's why I want to do it here, in front of all the people that mean the most to me." She wrapped her fingers around Luke's wrist, tugging on him.

"Oh, you're having the ceremony here in Stars Hollow?"

"Yeah, right over there," Liz said, pointing out the window at the town square.

"Aw, that's really great," Lorelai said warmly.

"It is, isn't it? I'm so excited. All I need to do is get Taylor to sign a permit for it."

Lorelai chuckled. "Well, good luck with that. But let me know if you need some help with your wedding planning. That's basically what I do." She ignored Luke, who was now strongly shaking his head at her.

"Would you really? Man, Lorelai, would I appreciate that! I've been out of town for so long, I've really got no idea who to go to for help."

She was afraid Luke was going to give himself a concussion, he was shaking his head so hard. "I'd be happy to, Liz. Just let me know when you're ready to get started. When's the wedding?"

"Next weekend," Liz said happily.

"Next…next weekend?" She felt her mouth stay hanging open after asking the question. She was beginning to understand Luke's silent but strongly negative reaction. "Uh…" She closed her mouth, swallowed, tried to think what to ask next. "How many guests are you expecting?"

"Fifty," Liz said easily, and Lorelai relaxed slightly. "Or maybe 300," the future bride revealed just as casually. "I'm not sure how many people are going to be able to make it. It's kind of short notice."

"Wow. Well, that's sort of a big range you've got there. You might need to narrow that down some, just so you know how many chairs you need; how much food to order."

Luke was now glaring at her, as if it was all her fault somehow.

"Oh, there won't be much to do," Liz said off-handedly. "Everyone from the faire will pitch in. You'll see, it'll all come together!"

"The…the faire?" Lorelai mumbled, feeling lost.

Luke finally spoke. "Lorelai has enough to do right now. Her inn's opening in less than a month. She doesn't have time to waste on planning a wedding for you."

"Oh," Liz started to say, looking abashed.

"No, no, it's fine," Lorelai blustered, once again trying to ignore Luke's dirty looks. "If nothing else, I can give you some names and numbers, direct you to places that rent chairs and things like that. Besides, weddings are fun!" she insisted in a too-hearty voice.

"Aw, thanks, Lorelai," Liz said warmly. She came around the counter and grabbed Lorelai up in a squeezing hug. "Remember when you told me you were a friend, not the wife? I think you'll be the friend _and _the wife," she whispered in Lorelai's ear while she hugged her. "See if I'm not right!"

"Oh, well –"

"I've got to go!" Liz announced suddenly, spinning around to look at her brother. "I've got to get to Carrie's and drop my stuff off, then track down Taylor. I'll tell Carrie you say hi," she said meaningfully to Luke.

Luke rolled his eyes.

"Carrie?" Lorelai asked.

"Luke and Carrie had quite a thing back in school," Liz informed her.

"We did not!" Luke fumed.

"Be sure to ask him all about it. He loves talking about it," Liz laughed.

"Oh, OK," Lorelai said, still feeling unusually out of the loop. "How long are you going to be in town, Liz?"

"I'll be here until Sunday. Hey, could you maybe come back here tonight, so we could start the planning?"

"Sure?" She looked at Luke, who sighed and folded his arms over his chest in distaste, but nodded his consent anyway.

"I'll see you both then!" Liz said cheerfully, and made a run for the door.

"So you're getting a brother-in-law," Lorelai commented to Luke, after the door closed behind his sister.

"Again," Luke said sourly. "Doubt that this one lasts any longer than the other string of losers that have paraded through her life."

"Well, still, it's nice she's excited about it."

Luke snorted. "Liz is always excited. It doesn't take much. She's like an overbred poodle that way."

"It's nice she wants to come back to her hometown to get married," Lorelai said more firmly, wanting to find something positive in the situation.

"Why did you jump into the middle of this mess?" Luke chastised her. "Didn't you see me trying to get you out of it?"

"I'm the one who wanted to help," she pointed out.

"I don't know why!" Luke burst out. "You've got enough to do right now without getting tangled up with my flaky sister and her freaky renaissance faire friends."

"Weddings are fun, Luke. I don't mind. I do have lots of names of vendors I can pass on to her, and if it gets to be too much for me, I'll tell her so. But she's your sister, and I'm happy to pitch in and help."

"She'll walk all over you," he predicted grimly.

Lorelai looked down at her hands, not liking the vibes he was giving off. Since they'd been having open and honest conversations for the last few days, she decided to straight out ask instead of fretting about it. "Luke, would you be more comfortable if I backed off here? Do you not want me to spend time with your sister?"

"What?" He looked confused. "No, Lorelai, that's not what I'm saying. You can spend time with whoever you like. I just don't want to see you get even more run down and frazzled because Liz is taking advantage of you."

"I won't let her take advantage," Lorelai promised. "Although, as the bride, that kind of goes with the territory."

"I am going to step in, though, if I think she's asking too much." He reached over the counter and gently touched her arm, nodding seriously.

"OK. That's nice, having somebody to watch out for me," she said lightly. But something was still troubling her. "Would you rather I not go to the wedding? Because even though Liz said that, about me coming with you, I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to take me."

"Of course I don't want you to go. _I_ don't even want to go!"

Lorelai nodded, keeping her head down. She was surprised when she felt his hand wrapping warmly around hers, and she looked up to see him watching her earnestly.

"But if I have to go, I'd like to have you there with me. That's probably the only thing that will keep me from slitting my wrists during the ceremony."

"Family," Lorelai commiserated, not sure if she was saying it mockingly or fondly. The smile she gave Luke, though, was definitely one of fondness.

"Thanks for putting up with this," he said, pulling back to his side of the counter. "Just out of curiosity, why do you want to go?"

"Weddings _are_ fun, Luke. Maybe only to girls," she conceded, laughing at the sour look of disbelief he gave her. "You get to dress up and eat cake. And ogle all of the good-looking guys dressed up in suits. If you're lucky, you even get to dance."

"No suits," Luke told her dryly. "Tights, like Robin Hood."

"Tights?" Lorelai's eyes lit up. "Even better!" She cast an appraising look towards him. "You too?" she asked hopefully.

"Right," he scoffed. "That'll happen right after I learn to play the flute and say 'huzzah' after every sentence."

Lorelai raised a fist up in the air. "Huzzah!" she shouted, trying to encourage him.

Luke shook his head, a small smile lifting one corner of his mouth.

"And…" Lorelai tried to find the words to express one more reason why she was willing to over-extend herself on this wedding. "She's your sister, Luke. She's your family. I know how important family is to you. You can tease all you want to about her, but in the end, I know you'd move mountains to make sure she's happy. And if I can help with that, I want to."

He nodded slowly, watching her. "Yeah, she's my sister, and she's also Jess's mom. Are you going to be OK with that?"

_Crap_. She'd forgotten that little bit of information. "Is Jess coming?"

"To his mother's wedding?" Luke shrugged. "I'd assume so."

"Well, sure. Of course." Lorelai tried to look enthused. "Of course I'm fine with that. Rory won't be home yet, and that's the only thing I'd be worried about."

Luke searched her face. "OK," he said then, stepping back from the counter. "We'll discuss it more latter. For now, let me get you some lunch. You're going to need to keep your strength up, riding herd on Liz. I've got roast beef manhattans as the special today. You want that?"

"Sounds great," Lorelai agreed, climbing onto a stool.

"Comes with a salad," Luke warned her.

"Bring it on!" she bravely said, accepting the challenge.

* * *

It was dark when Lorelai returned to the diner after a busy day of Dragonfly details. She didn't have nearly as much spring in her step crossing the street this time, but she shook the tiredness out of her shoulders and raised her head gamely. She didn't want to give Luke more ammunition in his anti-wedding helper argument.

She walked uncertainly up to the counter, looking around. They hadn't made any plans about this meeting tonight, other than a rough agreement about the time.

Caesar poked his head out of the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Lorelai. Luke said to tell you to go on up."

"Oh, OK. Thanks, Caesar." She nodded and headed for the curtain, not able to shake the feeling that the few people in the diner were staring at her.

Her footsteps echoed on the stairs. Knocking on his door felt extremely weird.

Luke opened the door so quickly that she was pretty sure he'd been waiting on her. "Hi," he said diffidently, stepping back to let her in. "Liz isn't here yet."

She gave him a swift smile, her gaze continuing around the apartment, trying to see what had changed since the last time she'd been up here. She couldn't remember when her last visit had been. Maybe the night after the Independence Inn had burned down? No, it was the night she'd convinced him to help her break the bells; the night she found out he really hadn't moved in with Nicole after all. She took in a reassuring breath, turning to face him.

"Is Liz still with her friend?"

"Who knows? Liz and time have always had a pretty tentative relationship."

"What was her name? Carrie?"

Luke snorted. "Crazy Carrie."

Lorelai tilted her head. "Someone named their child Crazy Carrie? How much Demerol did that mom have?"

"No, 'Crazy' is my nickname for her. Very appropriate, by the way."

She turned a thoughtful gaze on him. "Hmm, so you're close enough to have nicknames for each other, huh?"

"Hardly."

"Then what did Liz mean, that you had 'a thing' during high school?"

"Getting attacked under the bleachers by a sex-crazed sophomore does not make 'a thing.'"

Lorelai's eyebrows rose. "She attacked you?"

"Not that anyone's ever believed me, but yes."

"Poor boy," she mocked.

"Look," Luke began heatedly, but then stopped. He began again, his hands on his hips, looking down at the floor. "Carrie was one of Liz's friends, and she _did_ have 'a thing' for me. To be honest, she had 'a thing' for any guy with a pulse, but that's beside the point. She knew I took a shortcut under the bleachers after baseball drills, and she waited there one night. The next thing I knew, I had this crazy girl climbing up me, her tongue halfway down my throat. Did I want that to happen? No. Had I ever even thought about making out with her before that? No. Did I kiss her back?" Luke stopped and looked at her levelly. "You bet I did."

Lorelai laughed at his honest admission.

"Anyway, I've never heard the end of it. Carrie spread the news of our 'passion' far and wide, embellishing as she went along. Liz takes special pleasure in reminding me of it every time she comes to town."

"Were rumors the only thing Crazy Carrie spread that night?" Lorelai asked, as sternly as she could.

"Don't," he warned.

"I mean, you refused to take advantage of me the other night. Were your gentlemanly instincts that strong when you were eighteen?"

Luke rubbed a hand over his face. "Considering how much trouble I was in with Rachel over just the making out, it's a good thing I didn't have anything else to confess."

Her teasing stance softened. "Oh, you were already with Rachel then, huh? Oops. That must have been a rough time for you guys. I remember how _serious _all that sort of stuff was at that age."

"Yeah, that was the _first_ time we broke up," Luke said acidly. "Certainly wouldn't be the last."

"Ouch," she said sympathetically. "Sorry I brought it up."

"Nah, it's OK. Just one of those things you learn to live with in a small town, where everyone's watched you grow up, mistakes and all."

"I know all about mistakes," Lorelai murmured softly. "Just once you wish they could be forgotten."

"Yeah. Anyway…" Luke gestured towards the living room portion of the apartment. "Come on in, have a seat. Might as well get comfortable while we wait."

"Sure." Lorelai dropped her messenger bag onto the floor and started to move past him, planning to take a seat on the couch, but it had been a long day, he smelled all shower-fresh, and one of those reoccurring sudden impulses made her pause in front of him. Not waiting to reconsider, she put a hand on his shoulder, rose up to her tiptoes and placed a serviceable kiss on his lips. Without comment she started to pull away, but Luke's arms snatched her back.

"Oh, we're kissing hello now, too, is that it?"

"If you want," she agreed flirtatiously, her heart beating faster.

He pulled her a little bit closer, his face set in concentration. "Oh, I want," he muttered.

"Well, then, I guess –"

That was as far as she got with whatever she was going to say. The next thing she knew he was kissing her like they were eighteen and hiding underneath the bleachers together. She totally understood why Crazy Carrie had ambushed him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, using them to pull him down closer to her and also to snuggle herself tighter against him. She angled her head, wanting to experience that Level 13 kissing again.

His hands roamed to her hips, his fingers sinking in and then drawing that part of her body even tighter against his. The long, deep kiss was making her head swim, dragging her further under with him, drowning her with ache and need. One persistent thought, though, kept trying to pop back up to the surface.

"Luke." Lorelai pulled her mouth from his long enough to try and speak. "Isn't…isn't Liz coming here? Like, soon?"

He grunted something that sounded possibly affirmative and kissed her again.

"So…shouldn't we…sort of cool this?"

He jerked his head back and glared at her. "You want to cool this?"

"No, but –" Then he was kissing her again, and she lost her train of thought. He left her mouth and headed to her neck, and in that brief moment of clarity she tried again. "Luke, Liz is going to walk in here any moment. You don't want to give her another story to take around town about you making out with a girl, do you?"

Luke stopped but didn't let her go. "No," he grumbled. Then he sighed. "I guess you're right." He released her hips, but his hands traveled upwards, fingering over her waist, her ribcage, and came to rest under her arms. His thumbs deliberately teased the sides of her breasts.

Lorelai groaned, her eyes closing. "This is not…cooling it."

He kissed her once more, the pressure of his lips gradually decreasing. When he finally let her go, the pads of his thumbs grazed across the center of her breasts, making Lorelai gasp.

"Oh, you are evil," she panted at him.

"Now you know the truth," he said, nodding his agreement while manfully trying to catch his breath. He turned away, heading into the kitchen. He pulled open the refrigerator door and stuck his head inside.

Lorelai staggered over to the mirror above his dresser, tugging her clothing back in place as she went. She looked at the reflection of her flushed face and used her fingers to clean up smeared makeup and tame her curls back into place. She heard the _clink-clink_ of bottle caps hitting the countertop and turned around to see Luke bringing over two bottles of beer.

"I think something cold and alcoholic is in order," he told her, handing one bottle to her.

"Hear, hear," she agreed, clanking her longneck against his before taking a gulp. She moved over and collapsed onto the couch. "So maybe kissing hello wasn't my best idea."

"_I _thought it was pretty good," Luke complimented her, following her over to the couch.

"Whoa," Lorelai warned, putting up her hand. "You sit over there," she ordered, pointing over to an easy chair opposite of the couch.

"Maybe I don't want to sit over there," he said belligerently. "Maybe I want to sit right here."

"No way. Now I know you can't be trusted. You go sit over there."

"This is_ my_ place," he pointed out, trying to intimidate her with a cool stare. "I should be able to decide where I sit in it."

"After I leave, you can knock yourself out, sit in every seat in the place. But for right now…" Lorelai pointed at the chair again.

Luke blew out a breath, exasperated, then diverted to the chair. They were both quiet for a few moments, awkwardly avoiding each other's eyes as they continued to take sips of beer.

Lorelai didn't let the silence continue for long. "Is your goal to keep me really confused about what you want? Because if it is, you're doing a truly excellent job."

"It's not that I don't want to kiss you." Luke's voice was gruff. "I do. You know I do. I want…a lot more than that. I've been second-guessing every single thing I said to you in the back of the truck. My butt should be black and blue from all the times I've kicked myself since Saturday night. If I say I was wrong, would you –"

"You weren't wrong."

Her instant interruption made him pause. "I…wasn't?"

"No. You were brilliant. Possibly." She smiled only slightly, trying to show that it pained her to praise him.

He shook his head, trying to believe what she was saying. "Really?"

"Yeah," she admitted softly, smiling at him. "I leap, Luke, which you know. I leap, and I crash, and then I try to figure out why I always end up bruised and alone at the bottom of the cliff. You stopped me from leaping, and taking you along for the ride. You were smart to stop us."

"I don't feel smart. I feel pretty much the opposite of smart."

"I was so mad at you Saturday night," she confessed, surprised at how easy it was to talk to him now about anything. "So mad, and so hurt, and so completely determined to win you over by the sheer force of my personality. Like it was a contest. But getting you to like me isn't a contest. It's more important than that. It's real, and serious, and I want us to have a fighting chance at making this work."

He'd been hanging his head, studying the floor, but now he looked up, studying her instead. "I do too. And besides, I already like you."

"I know." Lorelai smiled gently. "It's funny, a week ago, I would have told anybody who asked that I knew you better than anyone I'd ever dated. But now I know that's not true. I barely knew anything about you. And if we would have gone with my agenda on Saturday night, I still wouldn't know anything about you. We wouldn't be sitting here talking. We'd be in bed, or trying to figure out how to get each other into bed, or lying around basking in the afterglow."

Luke took another swallow of beer, then grinned roguishly at her. "I have to tell you, that doesn't sound all that bad to me."

Lorelai laughed. "Yeah, not to me, either."

He carefully traced the label on the bottle with his thumb, the grin fading away. "But eventually, that's going to happen, right?"

"Once we're both absolutely certain we've bypassed all of the cliffs, absolutely."

He considered her words seriously before nodding. Then he leaned across and clinked his bottle against hers again. "OK. I can wait. I don't want to see you get bruised again."

"Or you," she whispered, the fear that she would hurt him once again flaring up. "I don't want to see you bruised either."

"I'm tough," he assured her, looking as cocky as she'd ever seen him, posturing for her, wanting to make her laugh.

But she couldn't laugh, not quite yet. There were all of the worries she'd voiced to Sookie that morning still floating around in her head. So for a few minutes more they went back to the awkward beer sipping and cautiously avoiding eye contact.

And still, Liz hadn't arrived.

"So, high school. Crazy Carrie and Rachel. Anybody else?" Lorelai broke down and asked, a little desperate to disrupt the awkwardness.

Luke snorted. "Take away Carrie and you've got it right."

"Then what was that whole line you were feeding me in the diner that day, all about how ol' Butch did just fine back in the day?"

He groaned, leaning his head back against the chair, looking up at the ceiling. "Do we really have to talk about this?"

"After seeing how much you don't want to? You betcha," Lorelai ordered cheerfully.

He kept his head inclined towards the ceiling, his hands dangling towards the floor on either side of the chair. "My dad tried to keep me humble," he finally said. "He tried to convince me that I was no big deal, but at the same time, he was proud of me, too. He couldn't help it, seeing his kid winning trophies for something all the time. I mean, think of Rory. Think how you feel about Rory."

"Yeah, I know that proud feeling," Lorelai said quietly.

"But he tried." Luke sat the bottle of beer on the floor and sat up straight, still avoiding looking at her. "It just didn't have much impact on me when I was out of the house. And I don't want you to think I was completely insufferable. But what you said the other day, teasing me, about the girls sort of throwing themselves at me…well, that's not exactly…too far from the truth."

"Oh," she said, her eyes wide. Suddenly she envisioned the picture of him on permanent display in the high school and added that to the rare cockiness she'd seen him strut. Yeah, she could imagine girls hanging all over him during his teen years with no problem at all.

He nodded, nervously rubbing his hands together. "But that all stopped when I started going out with Rachel."

"What all stopped?" she asked, sounding as nervous as he did. She wasn't sure she actually wanted to hear.

"You know. The casual stuff. The going out with somebody just to say you went out with them. But Rachel…she meant something to me. Before, it was just about having somebody to take to a dance, or out parking, or to hang around with after the game. But once I started dating Rachel, I didn't want to date anyone else. I didn't _need_ to be with anyone else. That's why the whole stupid thing with Carrie still pisses me off when Liz brings it up. I shouldn't have made out with her because I was with Rachel and committed to Rachel. Unfortunately I was no match for the crazy teenage hormones."

Lorelai nodded, swallowing hard. "You really thought she was it, didn't you?" she asked, her voice as gentle as she could make it.

Luke shrugged. "Yeah," he admitted. "Looking back now, of course I see we were just kids. But when you're living it, eighteen feels like the epitome of adulthood."

Lorelai was barely breathing. "Do you ever think about trying again with her? Now that you really are adults, and could maybe come up with a grown-up sort of compromise? It's obvious that you still care about her."

He looked at her sharply, frowning. "I care about her, sure. Love her? No."

"No?" She tried to keep the relief at bay, just in case it wasn't really true. "You don't ever do the 'what if?' thing? You don't imagine finding out where she is, and going there to surprise her, to see what would happen?"

"There have been times I've thought about that over the years, sure. During some bad times. Times when I've been lonely. But that's just nostalgia rearing up. We've both moved on from those kids we used to be."

Lorelai had been nodding almost continually, but she stopped long enough to take a badly needed drink of beer. Her mouth was so dry. "Do you ever hear from her?"

"Every now and then. She'll drop me a line if she sees something that reminds her of home. Or if _she's_ feeling nostalgic, I guess."

"Sure, I can understand that."

"She asks about you, sometimes."

That really got her attention. "Me? Why would she ask about me?"

He shrugged, suddenly very interested in his fingernails.

"I mean, I liked Rachel when I met her. She's great. She helped me find the Dragonfly, remember? But I can't imagine why she'd be asking about me, of all people."

Luke sighed, hunching miserably forward on his chair. "Because she could tell, that last time she was here. She could tell I had feelings for you."

"I, uh…." She had a hard time, keeping her hand steady enough to get the bottle up to her mouth. She thought about the old Lorelai, who would have made a joke, who would have refused to discuss such topics seriously, who would have preferred not to know the truth. Where had that girl gone? She sighed, knowing those times of avoidance were past.

"Yeah, I kind of thought maybe you did, right about then. There was that time in the storeroom, when we were talking about Rachel wanting to stay, and it sort of seemed like you maybe felt…but then nothing happened, so I decided I was wrong."

"Something happened, all right." He sounded bitter. "You got engaged."

She winced. "I guess I did, didn't I?" She thought for a minute. "But you got _married_," she pointed out in an even more aggrieved tone.

He scoffed at that. "Not until years later."

"I worry about that, though."

"About what?"

"That this is too soon for you. You just signed the divorce papers, practically. Should I have left you alone, let you wallow longer?"

"I wasn't wallowing. There wasn't anything to wallow over!"

"Luke, you were married. Of course you're going to have some lingering feelings over that. And I don't want to get in the way of you dealing with those."

"Right. You never get in the way."

"I'm being serious here!"

"Besides, we'd better take our chance when we can. Who knows, you could get engaged again tomorrow!"

"That's mean," she snapped, stung.

He reached for the bottle, took a long drink before placing it back on the floor. He shook his head, obviously debating something internally. Finally he glanced over at her, his mind made up.

"You know, now, what's in my wallet."

"Yeah?" Lorelai shrugged impatiently.

"So I got married, with that in my wallet."

"So? It'd been in there for years, right? Who remembers exactly what all's in their wallet?"

"It's not like it was a crumpled receipt from the drugstore!" he said hotly. He put his hands on his head, tore the hat off and tossed it onto the couch beside her. "I knew it was there, Lorelai! I even walked to the back of the ship before the ceremony; stood at the railing. I had this whole vision in my head, of me taking out the horoscope and tossing it into the sea, saying goodbye to you and starting a new chapter in my life."

She was breathing in through her mouth, desperate for air, staring at him.

"But I couldn't do it. I couldn't give it up. Not that little piece of paper. Not you. So I turned around and went and married Nicole, with that paper right there in my wallet. I thought about telling her no. Thought about backing out, but it was easier to keep my mouth shut and go through with it. So, no, Lorelai. Except for a whole bunch of shame, I don't have a lot of other feelings about my so-called marriage."

Luke finished talking and there was nothing but a loud buzzing in her head. After a moment she closed her mouth and stood up. She crossed over to him, bent down, and picked up his beer bottle. Giving it a shake, she confirmed that it was as empty as her own. She went into the kitchen, sat the empty bottles on the counter, and pulled two new ones out of the refrigerator. She found the bottle opener in the second drawer she tried. The bottle caps clinked onto the counter, joining the first set.

"Here," she said, handing one bottle to him. She put her now-free hand on his shoulder, massaging it gently. "Luke, I'm just so sorry. I don't know what else to say besides that."

"It's not your fault." He put his empty hand on top of hers, squeezing it. "I could have talked to you; been less cryptic. I could have stayed here, instead of going on that god-forsaken cruise. I could have been honest with Nicole. Hell, I could have at least been honest with myself. Instead I took the path of least resistance and ended up married." He took his hand away from hers and used it to rub his eyes. "Geez, poor Nicole."

Lorelai took in a sharp breath. "Yeah." She moved back to the couch, shaking her head in disbelief. "I mean, I'm sorry for both of you, Luke, but she had to know you guys weren't getting married under ideal circumstances. She had to feel that things weren't right, didn't she? I don't think you need to take on all the blame for what happened."

"Maybe. I don't know." He sighed deeply. "I'm just glad it's all over. And I'm glad that we can talk about it now. I'm glad we've maybe got a chance."

"I think we've got more than a chance." Lorelai gave him a warm smile, saluting him with her drink.

"Yeah, me too." He smiled back. "Since this talking thing seems to be going so well between us, what else do you want to know? Better hit me up now, when I'm all emotionally vulnerable and loosened up with booze."

Lorelai grinned gamely, but her heart sped up. "Great idea. Why don't you fill in the blanks for me? Tell me about the women between Rachel and Nicole."

"Don't know we have enough time to list them all," he said dryly. He gazed upwards, tapping his fingers against his thigh. "Hmm, let's see. There was…no one."

"Luke, come on! I'm supposed to believe you were celibate all those years?"

"I didn't say that." He took a quick gulp of the beer. "Sure, I dated, had some relationships even, I guess you could call them. But there wasn't anyone I was serious about. Nothing that went any deeper than having someone around to ease up the loneliness some." He paused, looking slightly uncomfortable. "I guess there was one that lasted longer than the rest, but I knew from the start that she wasn't overly committed to me, and that was fine. I certainly wasn't looking for a life-long partner."

Lorelai clutched the bottle tighter. "So who –"

Her crucial question was interrupted by the sound of shoes pounding up the steps. A moment later the door was pushed open.

"I'm late, I know! Sorry, sorry, sorry!" Liz erupted into the apartment.

"About time," Luke grumbled at his sister.

She nearly skipped over to his chair, dropping an exaggerated kiss on the top of his head when she got there. "Carrie sends her love," she teased him, winking at Lorelai.

"I'm sure she does," Luke grumbled.

"Hi, Liz," Lorelai said. "Luke's filled me all in about the Carrie era. She sounds like a charming girl."

Liz cackled gleefully. "Oh, she is! And by the way, she already hates you."

"Uh…OK?"

Liz laughed again, this time at Lorelai's perplexed look. "Oh, it's nothing about you personally. She just hates anyone who takes my big brother off the market."

"Doesn't she have a husband?" Luke said huffily.

"Sure, but there's nothing wrong with pretending." Liz looked back and forth between them. "Hey, can I have one of those?" she asked, pointing at their bottles. Without waiting for an answer, she bopped over to the kitchen, opening the refrigerator. "Aw, you made lemonade! Did you do that just for me?"

"Maybe," Luke sighed.

"I'll have that then." Liz opened a cabinet and grabbed a glass.

Lorelai stood up and moved over to the kitchen table. "Why don't we get started on the planning?" She pulled a binder out of her messenger bag and took a seat, ready to get going.

Luke drug his feet, but eventually joined her at the table. Liz bounced over, sitting down with her glass of lemonade.

"OK, then." Lorelai poised her pen over a blank sheet of paper. "Let's get what we already know down. The date, and the location." She wrote those facts on the sheet. "And we've got the bride." She nodded at Liz. "Elizabeth?" Liz nodded, so she wrote that down. "Middle name?"

"Katherine."

"And…" Lorelai paused, looking at Liz. "Sorry, I just realized I don't actually know your last name."

"Just use Danes," Liz shrugged. "That's easier."

Luke rolled his eyes and took another drink.

"OK," Lorelai said in a determinedly chipper tone, and wrote it down. "And T.J.'s full name?"

"Gary Shepherd Dawkins."

Lorelai's pen stopped. She looked up, turning her confused face back and forth between Liz and Luke. "But, how can that be? I mean, if his initials are T.J. –"

Luke put a soothing hand on top of hers. "Just go with it," he advised.

She took a cleansing breath. "OK." She wrote 'T.J.' in quotes next to the groom's real name. "What else do we know? Do you have someone in mind to perform the ceremony?"

"Oh, yeah, our friend Julian's going to do it."

"And he's legally qualified to do marriages?"

"Yeah, he does a couple dozen a year as we travel around the circuit."

"Wait." Luke sat forward on his chair, his face turning stormy. "Are you telling me that one of the crazies from the renaissance asylum is actually going to pretend to marry you guys?"

"Julian's a minister, Luke. It's totally cool."

"That's settled, then!" Lorelai said brightly, trying to smooth over Luke's glowering.

"Plus, he's already got the costume."

"Costume?" Lorelai tried not to ask, but she had to know.

"Yeah, it's going to be a total renaissance wedding. All of our friends from the circuit will come in their faire outfits. Wait 'til you see what I'm borrowing for a wedding gown! It's gorgeous, and it squishes my boobs all up like you wouldn't believe. I tell you, that period of time was great for us less-endowed chicks. Hey, you want to borrow a gown?" she abruptly asked Lorelai. "You would totally rock the laced-up corset look!"

"No, uh, I think I'll stick with the present day," Lorelai demurred, although the idea of dressing up actually appealed to her tremendously. "But thanks."

"If you change your mind, let me know." Liz grinned mischievously at Luke. "I bet I know somebody who'd love to see you in it."

"So it's a renaissance theme," Lorelai broke in quickly, writing that across the top of the page. "It's good to have a theme."

"Or a delusion," Luke muttered.

"Do you have any other plans already set?"

"Well, I ran into Kirk today –"

"Never a good way to begin a sentence," Luke groaned.

"- and he offered to D.J. for us at the reception. Turns out he already has a jester outfit, so it'll be perfect!"

"Why would Kirk –" Lorelai censured what she was going to say. "OK, Kirk as D.J." She wrote it down as fast as she could.

"And I stopped in and talked to the gal at the flower shop, and told her what I was looking for. She said it was no problem to do the flowers for the wedding that day. So I guess that's settled."

"Good, good." Lorelai made more notes. "Do you have your attendants picked?"

"Yep. Carrie's going to be my matron of honor –"

"Oh goody," Luke groused.

"And T.J.'s brother David is coming to town to be his best man." She looked sternly at Luke. "And _he's_ dressing up."

"Good for him," Luke retorted.

"OK." Lorelai wrote madly. "And how do you see starting the ceremony? Do you already want to be in place at the gazebo, or do you want to make a grand entrance, walking down an aisle to take your place there?"

Liz laughed. "Grand entrance all the way, baby!"

Lorelai laughed too, sensing a kindred spirit of sorts. "Are you going to have someone escort you down the aisle, or do you want to walk on your own?"

Liz suddenly grew quiet and subdued. "Well, I was kind of hoping that Jess would, but he's not coming. So, Luke, maybe you could?"

"Jess isn't coming?" Luke's eyebrows tugged together in concern. "Why not?"

"Ah, you know." She shrugged, trying hard to put on a show that she was cool with it. "He's got a life. He's busy. It's OK. I don't expect him to drop everything and come to something like a wedding."

"Something like his own mother's wedding?" Luke sounded angry. "Of course he needs to be here!"

"Let it go, Luke." Liz was shaking her head, sadness suddenly making her look years older. "We both know why he's not coming, and I don't blame him. I don't expect a year or so of trying on my part to dissolve all the bad feelings he's built up. Let's face it, I screwed up in the motherhood department. I'm going to just keep trying, and I hope that maybe in time he sees I mean it. But until then, I'm not going to push."

"But he should be here!"

"Not if he doesn't want to."

A chill passed through Lorelai's heart. She could feel how wrong it would be, how devastating, to get married without Rory being right there with her. Sympathy welled up in her for Liz. At the same time, an almost nauseating sense of guilt swept over her as well. She could suddenly imagine what it was like for a mother to find out from a stranger that her own daughter was getting married. She looked at Liz with new eyes. There was no doubt Liz was the cause of the crack between her and her son. But yet, every family relationship held the potential to crack the same way, especially if neither side was willing to bend. She reached quickly for her beer bottle, taking a swig and vowing to call her mother the next day.

"This shouldn't be his call!" Luke insisted. "There are things you do for family."

"Right, family." Liz held up her hands. "_I'm_ family, Luke. Your family. And I'm asking you, for the sake of our family, to let this go. I don't want Jess here because he's forced to be. Please, Luke. Don't go all crazy over this."

Luke seemed to make an effort and swallow back whatever else he wanted to say. "It's still not right," he complained.

"It is what it is," Liz offered calmly.

Lorelai broke in, wanting to smooth over what she could. "Luke, are you willing to walk your sister down the aisle?" She looked at him encouragingly.

"Yeah. Sure. OK," he capitulated, obviously not happy about it.

"Great!" Lorelai knew she was acting over-enthused. "Now, moving on…"

* * *

An hour later, Lorelai's notebook was filled with squiggly lines, arrows pointing from one section to another, and question marks. Lots and lots of question marks.

"Well, I think we've made a good start," Lorelai said, trying hard to sound upbeat. She stood up and closed the notebook. "Liz, you try to narrow down the guest list, OK? We can fudge things during the ceremony if we don't have enough seats by having people just stand around the edges, but you can't fudge food. We need to know how many people we're feeding."

Liz nodded, standing up too. "I'll make some calls. And T.J. will, too. I'll have a number for you by the next time we talk."

"And you'll check with the turkey leg guy, too, right?" Lorelai was especially nervous about that.

"Right," Liz said, tapping the side of her head, as if she was committing that detail to memory.

Luke sighed. He stood up and gathered up their bottles and glasses, and carried them over to the sink.

Lorelai was putting her things back into her bag when she looked over at Liz and realized she had an opportunity she might not have again.

"Hey, Luke and I were talking a couple of days ago about when the diner was newly opened," she told Liz. "I wasn't really around when that was happening, and I was wondering, are there any pictures from then?"

"Oh, yeah!" Liz eagerly went over to a closet. "Albums are still in the same place, right Luke?"

It sounded like Luke groaned.

Liz quickly returned to the table, carrying a couple of photograph albums. She pulled one out and opened it, leafing through the pages. "Here," she said, tapping on a page and leaning back, so that Lorelai had a better view.

"Oh, wow." She smiled at the familiar front of the diner, looking all shiny and new, with a huge 'Grand Opening' banner stretched over the door. "Oh, there are the aprons and the t-shirts!" she commented, seeing another picture with Luke and the staff all lined up.

Liz chuckled. "I remember those!"

She turned the page, and there was what she was looking for, and yet didn't want to see. Luke, looking much younger, with his arm around a dark-haired beauty.

"Holy cow, who's that? She's stunning." Lorelai was proud that she was able to keep the turmoil building up inside of her out of her voice.

"Who?" Liz peered around her shoulder. "Oh my God, that's Anna. Luke, Anna Nardini!"

_Anna then. Not Anita or Abigail. Anna._ Lorelai took a deep breath.

"Whatever happened to her?" Liz pressed Luke.

"Nothing, as far as I know," Luke said gruffly.

"I mean, I can't remember. Why'd you guys break up?"

"Don't think we broke up as much as we just stopped dating. No big deal. It just ran its course."

Liz looked at Lorelai, grinning. "Boy, did she hate me."

"Really?" Lorelai was once again dry-mouthed.

"Oh, yeah. She thought I was a complete flake. You could see her rolling her eyes at me a block away."

"It wasn't that bad," Luke disputed.

"Yes, it was!" Liz laughed and poked Lorelai in the ribs.

"Did she live here in town?" Lorelai tried to ask in a normal tone.

"Nah, she lived in Woodbury. Or…Woodbridge? I always get those two confused."

"Woodbridge," Luke reluctantly confirmed.

"You dated her for a while, though," Liz pointed out. "My worst fear was that I'd come home sometime and find out you'd lost your mind and married her instead of dumping her."

Luke turned around and deliberately caught Lorelai's eye. "It was _not _serious," he insisted, talking directly to her. "We both knew from the get-go it wasn't a serious relationship. At the end she was dating a couple of other guys, and I…I didn't even care. It was _not _a big deal," he repeated, holding Lorelai's gaze.

She nodded, still feeling a little bit gutted. "Well, she's certainly very pretty," she said hollowly, turning back to flip through some more pages of the photo album, although she was no longer cognizant of what she was actually viewing.

Luke came over and stood beside her, taking her elbow. "But she's not cute," he said firmly. "She's not annoying. Two things I look for in the women I care about."

"You guys are adorable," Liz chuckled.

Lorelai kept watching Luke, soaking up the reassurance his eyes were providing. "I probably need to get home. Another really long day tomorrow," she said finally, giving him a faint smile and a nod. "Liz, call me by Monday if I don't see you, OK?"

"Sure. Thanks again, Lorelai. See what I mean about fate? Where would I be if my brother hadn't started dating you when he did?"

Luke jumped in before Liz could say anything else. "I'll walk you out," he told Lorelai.

Lorelai nodded and picked up her bag. Luke took her arm and they went to the door. "Bye, Liz!" she called over her shoulder.

"Adorable!" Liz shouted back at them.

They were quiet all the way down the stairs and across the empty diner. Luke opened the lock on the door and they stepped outside, crossing the street to the Jeep. Once they reached the vehicle, Luke started to talk, a little desperately.

"She really meant nothing, Lorelai. I hesitated to bring her up when you were asking earlier because it wasn't that type of relationship."

"How long were you together?"

"We weren't _together_. We sort of dated, for maybe a year." He shrugged. "Or maybe two, off and on." He tried to avoid her stern look. "OK, it was probably closer to two, but it's not the way you're thinking. It was a convenience, Lorelai. I'm sorry, that sounds crude, but I don't know what else to say to make you understand. We happened to meet, we hit it off, and it was easier to keep seeing her than to go out looking for anyone else."

"I'm not sure knowing that helps. And she's _very _pretty."

Luke groaned in exasperation. "When we first hooked up, Anna and I, we were very honest about what we were looking for. Brutally honest. Neither of us wanted long-term. She had just opened a business and I was starting one. Besides, I was still hoping that Rachel would decide to come home eventually – which I was also completely honest about, by the way. Yeah, she was pretty, but she wasn't _my_ kind of pretty. Can't you see that?"

Lorelai put her hand on his chest, looking at it instead of his face. "There's nothing in your wallet from her, is there?"

"Never." He put his hand under her chin, tipping her face up so he could see it. "There's only one girl who has a place in my wallet."

"That sounds a little wrong," she pointed out, smiling half-heartedly.

"Yeah, it does," Luke agreed, putting his arms around her. He pulled her into a hug. "But you know what I mean." He kissed her forehead lightly and continued to hold her close.

"I guess I do." She relaxed against him, her body, at least, deciding to believe everything he'd said. "Thanks for talking to me about your past, Luke. I know you don't like to do that, so I appreciate it. I feel like I need to catch up on so much about your life. I don't want to feel like I'm in the dark."

"You're not in the dark. There's just not much to tell."

"Except for telling me that you used to date the most beautiful girl in the world."

"_You're_ the most beautiful girl in the world."

"OK, fine. I like your version better."

"Good. I do too."

Lorelai sighed and pulled away from him slightly. "This goes both ways, you know. I want to be open about my past, too. I want you to ask me about anything you have questions about."

He frowned. "You mean, about guys you've been with?"

"Sure, or anything else."

He snorted a derisive laugh. "Thanks, I'll pass."

"Luke, I don't want you to sit around someday and brood over Christopher, for example."

"He's married now, though, right? Started a new family?"

"Yes, but –"

"Then you're done with him, right?"

Lorelai shook her head. "He's Rory's dad, Luke. I can't ever be done with him."

She could see his jaw tighten up. "But romantically, you're done with him, right?"

"Of course, but –"

"Then I'm good," Luke cut in, waving a hand around. "That's all I care about."

"OK," she gave in. "But if you ever do have questions or concerns, I want you to come to me about it. Ask me. I'll be honest, I promise. I'll tell you anything you ask."

He paused and looked torn. "Well, in that case…What happened to the last guy?"

"The last guy? You mean Jason?"

He shrugged. "I guess."

"Oh, Jason," Lorelai sighed, wondering where to start. "I knew Jason when we were kids, going to summer camp for the rich and spoiled. Fast forward a whole bunch of years, when my dad and Jason went into business together in order to stick it to Jason's father. And I started dating Jason to drive my mother crazy."

"That's disturbing," Luke observed.

"It certainly is," Lorelai agreed. "Jason and I were never going to be anything serious, either. We had fun. Our senses of humor meshed. Our on-going family battles meshed. We understood where we were both coming from. I knew it was never going to last, but it ended pretty abruptly when Jason decided to sue my father."

Luke looked startled. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Jason's dad forced my dad out of their business, and then Jason came to my dad and offered to form a partnership with him, thus allowing both of them to screw the one guy they both hated, Floyd Stiles. But Floyd then came to my dad, accused Jason of stealing clients, and threatened to destroy my dad financially if he kept on with Jason. My dad folded and turned on Jason, and then Jason told me he was going to have to sue my dad for ruining him."

"Wow. I think I actually followed all of that."

"And then I told Jason that if he sued my family, I was out. Which was kind of a total surprise to me. Who knew that I would be on my family's side, even if I actually thought that Jason was right, and that my father should have to pay for ruining him?" She shook her head. "Guess blood truly is thicker."

"But you're over him, right?"

"Completely over and done. Gone. Buh-bye. But see, it's something we've got in common. I supported my family, even though I think they're totally wrong."

"Family," Luke said in disgust.

"I like Liz," Lorelai added as a counterpoint, smiling.

"Yeah, I do too, even when she drives me crazy." Luke hugged her again. "Thanks for helping her."

"My pleasure."

Luke took a quick look around the deserted street, then bent to kiss her. She melted into him, letting the thrill sink into every part of her.

"Mmm," she sighed, cuddling against him for an extra moment after it ended. "Guess I'll have to go home and paint my toenails again."

"What?"

"Never mind," she laughed. "I'll see you tomorrow, all right?"

"You bet." He kissed her once more, swiftly, before helping her into the car. "Drive home carefully," he requested.

"Of course. Don't let Liz aggravate you too much."

"Too late," he grinned, tapping his hand against the door as a goodbye.

She waved and drove off, nurturing the warmth she still felt inside. Warmth banked from his kiss. Warmth that had built up from the knowledge that she belonged in his apartment after all. Warmth coming from the certainty that she belonged in his life.

Having to shell out for more nail polish seemed a small price to pay for all that.

* * *

**A quick note of reassurance from DFC:** No, Anna's not going to pop up next week in this story, so please don't fret about that. She's just being used as an example of things Luke and Lorelai should have discussed and never did on the show. Remember that I'm trying to do some preventive maintenance for them!


	4. Luke Can See Her Heart

**Author's Notes: **Hello, Friends. Welcome to my new favorite chapter.

* * *

_Where the hell could she be?_

Luke sat in the truck, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. He'd waited in the diner as long as he could, hoping that she'd pop in for an early breakfast. When that didn't happen he'd gotten in the truck and drove to her house, only to find it deserted. Now he was sitting across the street from Sookie's, but it was obvious no one was stirring inside. Nor was the Jeep anywhere in sight. And he was running out of time.

He glanced at the clock on the dash, compared it to the time showing on his wristwatch, and then impatiently pushed at the band of his hat resting on his forehead. He chewed his lip and wondered if there was any chance she was already at the Dragonfly.

Not able to come up with any other idea, he put the truck into gear and started off. If she wasn't there, he'd just have to leave town without seeing her.

When he approached the turn-off, he was pleased to see that the Dragonfly now had an eye-catching sign pointing the way from the street, with a bright placard declaring 'Opening Soon!' hanging underneath it. The truck headed down the long lane leading to the old inn, Luke taking note of the landscaping that had been done, and also of all that hadn't. He worried about everything Lorelai still had to do before the advertised grand opening.

Numerous vehicles were parked around the yard, including Tom's truck, a van from a glass company, and thankfully, the Jeep. Luke sighed with relief.

His ears were assaulted by the noise of the work being done before he even made it to the front door. He could hear power saws, men shouting, and a hammer pounding from somewhere deep in the building. He opened the door and walked inside, knowing no one would hear him if he knocked or called. Following the source of the most noise, he found Tom and several of his crew in the dining room, cutting out a section of crumbling floorboard.

"Hey!" Luke took the chance and yelled a greeting when the reciprocating saw paused long enough for Tom to take stock of the progress.

Tom glanced up. "Hey Luke," he said, without much emotion, and no indication that he'd been in the diner merely an hour ago.

"Kind of late in the game to be tearing up the floor, isn't it?" Luke commented, only thinking twice about what he'd said when it was already too late to take it back.

"Yeah, well, some might've said that toast was a little late comin' out of the kitchen this morning, too, but hey, I'm not a cook, so what do I know about it?"

"Point taken." Luke was glad Tom hadn't zinged him harder than that. He valued Tom as a contractor and a businessman, respected the fact that he got down and dirty on the projects along with his crew.

"The girls wanted to save this, thought it gave the place some ambiance or something, but it was just too rotten to let it go. Convinced 'em finally to let us do a patch."

"Sounds good." Luke bent down and touched the replacement planks waiting to swap with the bad ones. "It'll look good, too. These should blend right in."

"That's the plan." Tom pressed the switch on the saw, making it buzz for a few seconds. "Something we can do for you here, or are you just sightseeing?"

"Do you know where I could find Lorelai?"

"Upstairs," Tom said, and then his attention went back to the repair.

Luke squeezed past another of Tom's workers on the stairs, who was replacing one of the banisters. At the landing he heard Lorelai's voice, and followed it upwards, and then down to the end of the upstairs hall.

She was watching the installation guys put in a piece of stained glass, high up on the eastern wall. So intently was she monitoring their progress that he was able to walk up next to her without her even noticing. Gently he touched her arm.

"Luke!" Her face lit up and he did too. It was a pretty big ego boost, knowing that he had that sort of effect on her. "What are you doing here?"

_Well…damn._ He hadn't actually thought about what he was going to say when he found her.

Thankfully, she was primed to chatter and didn't give him a chance to respond immediately. "Isn't it beautiful?" She grabbed his arm with one hand, and pointed to the stained glass being lifted into place with the other. "Sookie and I couldn't believe we were lucky enough to find this piece in one of the shops in Hartford. I mean, if we'd set out thinking we _needed_ to find a stained glass dragonfly, we never would have found one, but we were poking through a shop one day and there it was, like it was waiting for us."

"It's perfect," he said, watching the colors from the glass splash on her skin.

"We needed more light in the hall, anyway, and this way the sun will shine _through _the dragonfly every morning _at_ the Dragonfly. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Pretty cool," he agreed.

She turned towards him, apparently now trusting that the glass installers were able to do their jobs without her input. "So, what are you doing here? Checking to see what $30,000 will get you?"

"No, no, of course not. But things look great, and uh, sure, I'd love to see the rest of the place sometime, when you've got the time to show me, but not today."

"OK," she looked at him with more curiosity. "Did you just miss me, then?"

_Always,_ he thought about saying, but nixed that idea instantly. "Well, now that I'm here, I'm not sure that we're actually to that stage in our relationship where you need to know where I am at all times, but I wanted to tell you that I'm going out of town today. And actually now that I think about it, I guess I could have just called and left a message on your answering machine, if you even need to know at all…" He trailed off, uncertain about how exposed this off-the-cuff rambling was making him look.

Lorelai opened her mouth to question him, but a nail gun started up in one of the bedrooms. "Come on," he thought she said, and pushed him to turn around and go back down the stairs.

She continued hustling him out the door, fluttering her hands behind him as if she was shooing him out the door. He had to hold up at the threshold when a worker came in from outside and Lorelai crashed into the back of him, her hands smacking him right on the butt.

"Oops," she giggled. "I couldn't have planned that better."

He turned around to roll his eyes at her, but he couldn't stop a grin, either.

They stepped out into the morning sunshine and Lorelai took his hand, leading him out towards where the trucks were parked, away from the mayhem and noise emanating from the construction zone.

"Now, what's going on? You're running away from home today?" She turned to face him when they reached the pickup, one of her impish smiles beaming out at him. "That doesn't sound too bad. Can I go, too?"

He shrugged, like it was no big deal. "I just need to go into the city today, that's all."

"You?" She laughed, her eyes opening wide. "You hate going into the city."

"Yeah, well, we all have to do it sometime."

"I've heard that particular rant at least six times, about how the unidentifiable smells oozing out of the manhole covers are most likely made up of toxic chemicals that will kill you in ten years, and how the hot dog vendors should all be shut down by the board of health. Why are you voluntarily going into the city?"

"Just some, you know, errands."

She sobered and tipped her head, watching him speculatively. "You're going to go see Jess, aren't you?" she asked, somehow able to read his thoughts.

He dipped his head, acknowledging the correctness of her guess without actually admitting it out loud.

Lorelai took a quick, sharp breath. "Luke, Liz specifically asked you not to do that."

"I know." He met her eyes. "But I feel like I have to at least try."

"Luke –"

"I'm not even doing this for Liz," he broke in, trying to explain. "What she said the other night, about being a lousy mom, and how she didn't blame Jess for not believing her – that's all true. She was a lousy mom. She didn't make a good life for Jess while he was growing up. I only know the barest of the details, but it wasn't pretty. It's no wonder Jess doesn't want to show up for this latest wedding. She's given him no reason to think he should."

Lorelai worried her bottom lip as more omniscience kicked in. "I'm betting she was one of the reasons why you didn't want to get tangled up with a young, single mom, wasn't she?"

"It's possible," he admitted quietly. "She wasn't a very good example of how to make it work, that's for sure."

That pitiful look crept into Lorelai's eyes again.

"But I'm not doing this for Liz," he repeated, wanting to get back to the mistake he was about to make, and not dwell any longer on the one from the past. "I want to do this for Jess. Believe me, I understand why he doesn't want to come, but I'm worried he'll regret it five, ten years down the road. What if this is finally the time that Liz does actually get her act together? If it turns out she's sincere, and they eventually get back to being like a real mom and son again, won't he regret not being here for the wedding? Maybe attending her wedding could have been the one thing that healed up their relationship sooner. I don't want to see him pass up this chance, not if it helps in the long run."

After letting out a long, agonized breath, Lorelai spoke. "You know I don't have the best relationship with my parents. And I can look back now and see some times when if I hadn't have been so stubborn about maintaining my independence, we could have had some peace between us. I can sure understand where you're coming from here. And I think you're right to go and try to talk some sense into him."

"You do?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I do, and I think Liz would secretly be very pleased if she knew, in spite of what she said."

"Good," Luke sighed, glad to have her support. "Not that I have much chance of success with it. Jess has already let me know what he thinks about my penchant for wanting to fix everybody, so I'm sure today is nothing but a fool's mission."

"Hey." Lorelai reached out and grabbed his arm, shaking it gently. "You forget all about what that little punk told you. He was hurting and bitter and lashed out at you because you were the only one there. He needs to be grateful that at least he's got you in his corner. If anyone can get through to him, it's you." She paused. "Or maybe Rory. But we're not sending Rory."

"Definitely not."

Lorelai gasped as inspiration struck. "But I could go!"

"What? No, of course not," Luke protested.

"I don't mean I'd go in with you to talk to him. I wouldn't do that – that wouldn't help at all. But I could ride along with you for company. For moral support. To help you navigate through the mean streets of the cold city." She pulled out her phone and started looking at numbers. "Let me just make a couple of calls…"

"Lorelai, no." He grabbed at the hand holding the phone and managed to get control of it. Gently he closed the phone. "You've got a million things to do here today, don't you?"

"Nothing that can't wait," she bravely lied.

He shook his head. "Don't con me. I counted 16 projects just driving up the lane."

"They can wait," she still insisted stubbornly. "And driving into the city with you would be fun. Wouldn't you like me along, riding shotgun?"

His heart gave a sudden squeeze of joy. Having her in the seat next to him would make this trip tolerable. He could imagine the things she'd point out along the way, the music she'd insist on playing, the coffee stops she'd want to make. Truthfully, he couldn't think of anybody he'd rather have along for the ride. On any trip, going anywhere. Ever.

"Lorelai, you can't." He gave her a soft smile of understanding. "I appreciate the offer, but I can't take you away from your responsibilities here today. You've got to be swamped."

"Fine," she grumbled. He knew then, from how easily she'd given up, how bottomless that 'to do' list of hers must be.

"I just came by so you'd know you didn't have to make time to come to the diner today, because I won't be there anyway."

"Wait. Do you think I only come to the diner because you're making me or something?"

"Well, no." He paused, painfully reconsidering. "But…maybe…a little." He haltingly confessed one of his worries.

"Luke!" She leaned against him, bracing her arms against his chest. "Forget for a minute that I'd starve if you didn't feed me, and wouldn't be able to stay awake without your coffee. I like coming into the diner to see you. I like talking to you. I like being with you. I like _you_," she told him forcefully, adding in a dazzling smile. "And, besides, you're pretty," she flirted.

He smiled sheepishly at the compliments. She made him smile. She made him happy. He'd learned long ago that there was nothing he could do to insulate himself from the way she made him feel.

"But if you're going to be gone all day…" She leaned against him more, raising her arms and draping them around his neck. "Then that means I'd better get my lovin' in now." She raised her face, her eyelids half-closed, and her voice dropped down into a sexy female gruffness. "Better give you a proper farewell, before you go off to battle the unknown."

"This isn't the old west. I'm not joining up with the posse to hunt down desperadoes," he argued, mainly because he felt like it was a requirement on his part, to be a little grumpy. But he willingly put his arms around her.

"You never know," she whispered, her eyes sliding all the way closed, her mouth coming closer. "You don't know what sort of mutants might come slithering out of those manholes in the city."

He held still, letting her kiss him. He marveled at how quickly she had become imprinted onto him. He already knew how to hold her; how she was going to fit against him. Already the time when he wasn't allowed to touch her like this was fading from memory.

Luke began to kiss her back, multiple thrills rushing through him when his tongue touched hers. He pulled her tighter against him, his leg finding a home between her denim-clad thighs. Lorelai moaned out her approval, and he temporarily lost his mind.

He wasn't sure if he pushed or she pulled, but suddenly Lorelai's back was pressed up against the door of the pickup, and he was pressed against her, his only thoughts having to do with the contours and the warmth of her body. And what that body was doing to his.

Then the earth moved. Literally. It was like a bomb had dropped directly behind them, and they broke apart in panic and confusion.

They turned around to see Tom standing there. "Whoopsie," he said blandly, bending over to pick up a couple of substantial boards he'd dropped behind them. "I'd tell you to go get a room, but I guess they're not ready yet, are they?"

"Especially since they don't have doors," Lorelai managed to say, between gasping for air and glaring at her builder.

"Good thing I'm only interested in building supplies, not gossip," he said pointedly, taking a step or two back towards the inn. "See you, Luke," he added smartly, making it sound more like a suggestion instead of a goodbye.

"He's right, I should go," Luke murmured, hugging Lorelai to him once Tom was safely out of sight. "Got a long drive."

She kissed his jaw and he shivered.

"Sure you don't want me to come along? I'm good at all sorts of things on road trips," she offered once more.

"I have no doubt of that," he chuckled. He swung her around so that he was now the one closest to the truck. Regretfully he opened the door and got in.

"Be careful," she warned him, holding onto the edge of the window. "I hear there's a black market for body parts harvested from unsuspecting yokels like you."

"I'll be careful."

"You'd better be, 'cause I want all of your body parts back in one piece, mister," she sternly informed him.

He chuckled, shaking his head, and started the truck.

"Call me when you get home?" The fake sternness had been replaced by sincere wistfulness.

"If it's not too late," he promised. He touched her hand and then she stepped back.

He couldn't resist one last look in the rear view mirror, and he was glad he was weak, or he would have missed the sight of her waving and blowing him kisses. The strength of that image got him all the way to the George Washington Bridge before the first New York City rant overcame him.

* * *

Luke had circled the block three times before he finally spotted the faded numbers over a doorway. Luckily he'd noticed a delivery truck pulling away from the curb in the next block, and he was able to park the pickup there.

He looked over the neighborhood with disgust. It wouldn't have surprised him to spot Frank Serpico lurking in one of the doorways. He leaned over, feeling underneath the seat for anything he could stick in his pocket and potentially use as a weapon. He was glad, now, that he'd convinced Lorelai not to come along, because he would have been facing a terrible dilemma. No way could he have left her here in the truck; no way could he have allowed her to follow him inside. Thank God she was safely back in Stars Hollow. Too bad he couldn't say the same thing about himself.

Finding nothing under the seat that could inflict bodily harm, he got out, locking the door and pocketing the keys. Setting his hat firmly against his head, he started walking doggedly towards the building a block away.

So far the day had been like a terrible scavenger hunt. First he discovered that Jess hadn't lived at the last address Luke had on him for a couple of months, but a helpful ex-roommate, who may or may not have been stoned, gave him a lead to a bookstore where Jess had apparently been working at one point. There, an emaciated girl with so much black gunk layered around her eyes that he wondered how she could blink against the weight of it, had drawn him a simple map showing where she thought Jess now lived. It turned out he'd also moved from that apartment, but the super was in, and miracle of miracles, actually had a forwarding address.

He'd wasted hours so far in trying to locate the kid. If this place turned out to be a dead end too, he didn't know if he'd have enough gumption to keep on. He felt defeat beginning to wear him down.

The doorway was revolting, putrid, littered with trash and cigarette butts. He hated to even touch the encrusted handle to push it open. Each building he'd tried had been a little bit worse than the one before, and his first impression of this place was that it was just a step or two above an open sewer.

Even down in the entry he could feel bass vibrations from rap music turned up way too loud. In the dank stairway heading up, shrill screaming voices from some sort of domestic dispute drifted down. And smells, smells unfortunately that he _could_ identify with no problem, permeated the enclosed space.

Suddenly he was angry. Angry that his nephew was living like this. Angry that his sister hadn't tried harder to give her son a better life. Furious that Jess preferred to live like a refugee from the apocalypse than submit to the mild rules he'd laid down in clean, picturesque, boring Stars Hollow.

Luke raised his arm and pounded on apartment F, prepared to lash out with bitter sarcasm at whoever was unlucky enough to open the door.

* * *

His head was throbbing. It hurt so much that he'd actually shelled out money for a tiny tin of aspirin, available for purchase next to the cash register at the diner he'd found after leaving Jess's charming company.

Luke took off his hat and laid it on the chair next to him. He massaged his temples, trying to alleviate the ache currently splitting his forehead. It hurt to think about where Jess was living. It hurt to think about how much he'd failed with the kid. In fact, it was making him sick, it hurt so much.

_Failing._ He thought about Lorelai, her face streaked with tears, her pink coat trembling against him as she cried about her fears of failing. He bowed his head further, burying his face in his hands.

_Failing._ She wouldn't fail. He wouldn't let her fail. But as far as what he'd already tried with Jess…it was over. He _had_ failed. The kid was lost, and it was his fault. He'd been Jess's second chance, and he'd blown it. And now it was too late. Luke knew that the next time he tried to find his nephew there would be no breadcrumbs to aid in locating him at all. The rats would've eaten them.

Luke sighed tiredly and picked up the thick ceramic mug before him. He took a mouthful of the rapidly cooling tea, but his tastebuds rebelled, warning him not to swallow. He did anyway, fighting his gag reflex over the bitter taste. Frowning, he looked down into the mug of what was obviously coffee.

Confused, he looked over at the waitress behind the counter. Had he ordered coffee in his muddled state? Or had she just automatically brought him a cup?

He looked down into the mug again. From the level of liquid inside the cup he realized that he'd already drank at least half of it. Had the run-in with Jess upset him so much that he couldn't even tell the difference between tea and coffee?

"Is there a problem?" The waitress had apparently picked up on his distress and was standing in front of him.

The smell from the coffee tickled his nose, an evocative reminder of Lorelai. What would she do? If he'd let her come with him, if she was sitting right here beside him now, what would she do?

He smiled, more from the thought of Lorelai than at the waitress, but she didn't know that. He shook his head sheepishly. "Hey, sorry, I thought I'd ordered tea. Any chance I could trade this in for a cup of hot water and a teabag?" He looked up at her from under his lashes, remembering that Lorelai had once teased him about trying to flirt when he'd done that.

The waitress looked at him with more interest. "Sure, hon, no problem," she assured him, whisking away the offending cup.

Luke felt the tension he'd been holding in his shoulders all day go down a notch or two. Maybe because the aspirin were starting to work. Or maybe it had helped to get the coffee smell out from under his nose. Or maybe just the thought of who he had waiting for him back in Stars Hollow was enough to give him hope.

Whatever it was, he was ready to stop looking back with regret. What was done was done. In his heart, he knew he'd done his best. So much damage had already been done to Jess before he got to take a crack at him. Now it was time to move forward, to see what the future was going to hold.

Maybe things would change; maybe Jess would be a part of it yet. But if not, he couldn't let guilt and anger at the past mess up this chance at happiness.

He pictured Lorelai, the way she'd looked when blowing kisses at him earlier in the day. For the first time in many years, it seemed that happiness might truly be within his reach. Maybe all he had to do was catch one of those airborne kisses. Maybe the secret to happiness was no harder than that.

* * *

Why did he always forget about traffic? It wasn't even the volume of traffic so much, it was the inevitable delays from construction projects, or the backups from accidents miles ahead. It always took hours longer to get home than what he estimated.

Finally the landscape began to look familiar. Stars Hollow wasn't too far away.

Luke looked longingly at an exit that led to a restaurant owned by friends of his parents. It had been too long since he'd stopped by to see Buddy and Maisie. It might be nice to let Maisie fuss over him a bit; to see what Buddy had to say about the restaurant business. But it was already too late to go visiting. Their restaurant was surely closed for the night by now, just the way the diner was. Besides, Maisie would pry out more than what he was willing to say, about Jess, about Liz, about his fledgling love life. Better to let that nosy dog lie.

But maybe someday, someday soon, he'd take a night and go to Sniffy's. Maybe he'd even take somebody special with him.

He grinned, imaging how Lorelai and Maisie would react to each other. Buddy would love her, he knew that for sure.

Thirty minutes later he was turning into town, coasting to a parking spot in front of the diner.

He pulled his weary body out of the prison of the truck cab, stretched, and took a deep breath of the night air. He turned, twisting the knots out of his back, and spotted Lorelai's Jeep parked just up the street.

He locked the truck and quickly walked up to the Jeep, wondering where she was. When he reached her vehicle he saw that she was curled up in the driver's seat, her head resting against the window, sound asleep.

Gently, not wanting to startle her, he tapped against the window. Slowly she stirred, turning towards the sound.

Gradually she focused on him, the sleep slowly leaving her. She smiled at him as if she was still half in a dream, in a way that made all sorts of illicit thoughts race through him.

She reached for the door handle and he helped her open it, giving her a hand as she slid out.

"You're back," she said, yawning, using his body to help keep her upright.

"What are you doing here?" He looked up and down the street, trying to think of a reason why she'd be parked here at this time of night.

She laughed at him. "What do you think I'm doing here? I'm waiting for you!"

"For me?" He still couldn't figure it out. "I told you I wasn't going to be here today."

"Luke, you doofus." She put her hands on either side of his face and shook her head at his stupidity. "I was waiting for you to come home. I wanted to make sure you were OK."

He still wasn't getting it. "Why wouldn't I be OK?"

She ran her thumbs over his jaw, scratching them against his whiskers. "Mmm, scruffier than usual. I like," she purred, tucking her head against his neck for a moment, completely relaxing against him. But then she rallied, standing up straight, trying harder to wake up. "You had a rough day, Luke. I couldn't sleep until I saw that you'd made it through the battlefield and got home safe."

"Looked to me like you were sleeping just fine in the car."

She laughed, exasperated. "You know what I mean."

He looked between her, the Jeep, and the diner, a deeper frown creasing his face. "You were really waiting for me to get back?"

"Yeah. I was afraid…I mean, I knew the chance of it going smoothly with Jess was somewhere between 'no way' and 'not a prayer,' so I thought I'd stick around, see if you needed a friendly face when you got back. In case you wanted to talk to somebody about it. Or if maybe you didn't want to talk about it, but you just wanted some company to help forget about it. Whatever," she shrugged. "I was afraid you wouldn't call me, so I thought I'd be proactive and just be here."

Some peculiar feeling was brewing in Luke, something that he was afraid would completely overwhelm him if he examined it too closely. So he pushed it aside, buried it, and focused on the sleepy, utterly charming woman standing next to him.

"Would you like to come up for a while, maybe have a beer with me?" He moved some of her rumpled hair back behind her shoulder and smiled at her. "I think I would like the company."

"I'd love to," she said.

He helped her lock up the Jeep and grabbed her huge purse. He took her arm and guided her down the alley beside the diner, to the back door. "A little easier to get in back here," he explained. "Don't have to turn lights on and off, trying to find the way to the stairs."

"Whoa, does that sound like a line," she scoffed.

"It was your idea to be here," he pointed out.

"True," she agreed easily.

He felt like she was tiptoeing up the stairs behind him. "You don't have to be quiet," he reminded her. "There's no one else here."

"That seems…really weird," she laughed.

He opened the door to the apartment, flipped on the lights, and motioned for her to enter.

"Make yourself at home," he told her, tossing the keys and his hat onto a side table. "Give me a minute. I'm going to go wash the stench of New York off me."

"Still got all your organs, right?" She plopped down on one end of the couch.

"Last time I checked."

"I'll check for you, if you want," she offered.

When he came out of the bathroom, she had her head on the arm of the couch, her shoes on the floor, her legs tucked up under her.

"Can I get you a beer?" he asked, heading for the kitchen.

"Don't think I'd better. A beer would probably knock me right out."

He stopped rummaging in the refrigerator and looked over at her with more concern. "Hey, we don't have to do this. Go home and get some sleep if you want. I know you've had a long day."

"No, I'd rather be here. It's fine, Luke. I just don't think I can handle alcohol at this point of the day, that's all."

"Do you want some lemonade then? Water? Anything?"

He saw her head move, assumed she was shaking it. "Nah, not right now, anyway."

"Let me know if you change your mind." He brought over a beer, a package of crackers and a jar of peanut butter. Now back in his own environment, he was suddenly aware of how hungry he was. He sat down on the other end of the couch, waiting a moment to see if she'd protest his choice of seats. She didn't. In fact, she stretched out, pressing the bottoms of her bare feet against his leg.

"All tired out, huh?" He patted her ankle, then reached to spread some peanut butter on a cracker.

"Just a typical day." She rolled over on her back so that she could see him. "How was the big, bad city?"

"Big. Bad. Smelly." He paused and shoved the cracker in his mouth. "Sullen," he added, after chewing and swallowing.

Lorelai winced. "Jess still his usual sweet self, I take it?"

Luke deliberately fixed another cracker and ate it.

"That bad, huh?" she asked sympathetically.

"Pretty bad," he confirmed, crunching. He spread peanut butter on another cracker and held it out to her.

She smiled and sat up far enough to take a bite out of it. "I had no idea you cooked so creatively up here in your bachelor pad," she commented, chewing. She took the rest of the cracker from him and lay back down.

He ate a couple more crackers, took a long drink of the beer.

She poked her foot against his thigh. "Talk to me, Luke. What was bad about it?"

He shook his head, almost laughed. "What wasn't bad about it?"

"He wasn't happy to see you?" She gestured for him to make her another cracker.

Luke slathered a cracker with peanut butter and tried to hand it to her.

"Too much peanut butter," she protested. "That'll stick my mouth together."

He sighed, scraped some off, and handed it to her again.

"Better," she decreed, accepting it. "So Jess wasn't happy, I take it?"

"Have you ever known Jess to be happy?" he asked scathingly.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I spotted a smile that day he came downstairs dressed like you. And I saw him smile a time or two with Rory, but only if he thought I wasn't around."

"There was no smiling today." Luke jabbed the knife into the jar. "He hated that I was there."

"He thought you were poking your nose into his business?"

"Maybe. I don't know. Maybe he just hates everything, including me."

"He doesn't hate you, specifically," Lorelai disputed. "He hates the world at large though, that's true. He's angry that nothing ever seems to go his way. He pushes back at you because he knows you're the one person who's still going to be there, no matter how badly he treats you. Let him get over this stage, Luke. Let him try, and fail, and move on. Eventually he'll grow up enough to see who's always been there for him. Don't worry, one day he'll realize how much he wants you around."

_Fail._ There was that word again. "I don't know. I sort of think it's too late. I think I've used up what little chance I had with him."

"I think you have more influence over him than you know. But Jess is just stubborn enough that he's going to have to figure this all out on his own. You can't force him into taking a shortcut. It's going to be on his own terms or nothing."

Luke slumped back against the couch, squeezing his eyes shut against the vision in his memory. "Geez, Lorelai, if you could see the slum where he's living. Living under a bridge would be a step up from that place."

Lorelai sat up, watching him. "Was it really that bad?"

"Uh, let me think." He pretended to ponder. "Yes."

She settled sideways against the arm of the couch, sitting Indian style, facing him. She rested her hands on her knees and gazed down at the cushion between them. "Was it really that bad, or are you maybe projecting your feelings about his situation in general?"

"_Projecting my feelings?_" He shook his head at her, unable to temper the sarcasm. "Gee, let me think. Maybe the drug dealer I passed in the hall wasn't packing and was just happy to see me. Maybe it wasn't black mold on the wall, maybe it was some sort of a minimalist modern art installation. Maybe the filthy mattress on the floor folds out into a complete bedroom set at a touch of a button at night. Was it bad? Yeah, Lorelai, it was bad."

He saw annoyance flick across her face, but she didn't give voice to it. Instead she reached across far enough to put a reassuring hand on his knee.

"The reason I'm asking is because Rory made the mistake of showing my mother where we lived before we got the house. You know, the little potting shed out behind the old Independence? Well, my mother freaked out. She couldn't see what a perfect place that had been for us. All she registered was the word 'shed.' I mean, you know Mia. She never would have let us live there if it wasn't suitable. But since my mother wanted to believe I'd made a huge mistake by leaving home, all she could see about the shed was that it was a slap in the face to her. I'm just trying to make sure you're not doing the same thing to Jess."

He contemplated what she was saying, calmed down enough to see the parallel she was drawing. "No it was bad. Really bad. If you'd found Rory living in a place like that, you would have drug her out, even if she was kicking and screaming. No one should live that way."

She smiled thinly. "Cockroaches as big as rats?"

"No, no cockroaches. The place was so awful that even the vermin had moved out."

"I still say it's a stage he's going through. He's trying to figure it out. Let him know you're still around, but let him work through it." She cocked her head. "Speaking of work, what's he doing?"

"He says he's a messenger." Luke snorted, picturing the scene once more. "Fighting New York traffic on a bike. Yeah, that's a comforting thought, too."

She shrugged. "At least he's trying."

Luke laughed bitterly. "Trying at what? To get himself killed? Run over by a taxi? Shot accidentally by the couple beating on each other next door? Geez, it's just –" He broke off suddenly, lurching forward and hanging his head, overcome by the future he saw for Jess. "I mean, what's he going to do? He's got no schooling to speak of, not even a diploma. No steady job. What sort of life does he even have to look forward to? How long before he decides it's all too hard and he takes up the neighborhood drug dealer's offer to peddle some stuff? Or he decides to shoot it up himself? I'm supposed to just sit back and let that happen?"

Lorelai scooted closer, putting both hands on his leg. "Listen to me now. That's not going to happen. According to Rory, Jess has quite a brain in that hard head of his. He's too smart to let the bad stuff win. Wait and see. He'll find his way yet."

"I don't see how. He has nothing. There's nothing for him to build on. How can he possibly turn this around?" Luke could see nothing but gloom and despair.

"Well, at the risk of making this all about _moi_…" Lorelai batted her eyelashes at him, fluttered her hands around coyly. "Let me remind you about another teenager who once moved to a strange place, with no education, no financial support, and no clue, either. _And _she had a baby to take care of, too. But yet this same amazing young woman managed to beat the odds, pull herself up, and is now opening her own business. It's possible, Luke. I know it's possible."

"But you're…well, _you."_ He knew the facts of Lorelai's life, but he couldn't imagine her going off the rails the way Jess seemed to be. "You had Mia looking out for you. Who does Jess have?"

"Jess." Lorelai nodded decisively. "And I know he's got you, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. But the most important thing right now is that he's smart enough to keep himself going."

"Since when did you become his cheerleader?"

"I'm not. Not really. But I think maybe I understand where he is right now better than you do. I've sort of already lived it. And as much as I don't want to admit it, the fact that he fell for Rory shows that he's not completely stupid. He cared for her – still cares for her, probably. And the fact that Rory fell for him too – that shows that he's not completely without merit. She saw something in him. She believes in him, even though he walked out on her. I may not completely believe in your nephew, Luke, but I believe 100% in my daughter." She nodded solemnly at him again. "If Rory's behind Jess, then I think we have to be, too. We just need to give him some more time to sort it out."

Luke chewed the inside of his cheek, reviewing what she'd just said. The Rory argument was tempting.

"I still think I've failed him," he admitted softly, looking away from her earnest face.

"You haven't failed," she insisted. "Neither has he. Yet. Let him make the next move now. You've shown him you're still around, waiting, wanting to be a part of his life. Let him decide what comes next. You try to force him into anything and you'll lose him. Let it be his decision. Just be available when he reaches out."

"What if he doesn't?" He couldn't let go of the gloom, in spite of her optimistic words.

"He will," she maintained. "It might not happen overnight, but wait and see."

"God, I hope you're right," he muttered, feeling drained.

"So what happened when –"

"You know what?" Luke cut her off. "I think I'm talked out about this for tonight. Would it be OK if we maybe just watched TV now?"

"Sure." Lorelai pushed away, settling back onto her side so she could see the TV. "As long as you know you can always bring it up again, if something bothers you or you think of something else that happened, just tell me. I'm always happy to be a sounding board."

"Thanks. I may have to take you up on that." He picked up the TV remote. "How about if we watch the news for a while?"

Lorelai groaned, but she also nodded. "Yeah, might as well see what awful things happened today. And if I can get you to rub my feet, you can pretty much watch anything you want."

"Oh, is that the secret for getting my way? A foot rub?" Luke picked up one of her slim feet and turned to one of the Hartford stations, and soon found out that Lorelai was right. Lots of awful things happened in the region during the day. He rubbed first foot and then the other, secretly admiring the vibrant purple polish on her toes. He kept his opinions to himself until the weather guy came on and tried to do a comedy routine.

"Why does he do that?" Luke complained. When Lorelai didn't reply, he looked at her and realized she'd fallen asleep. He let her doze while the weatherman went through all of the charts and radar screens. When the sports segment started, he took a chance and changed over to ESPN. To his surprise, Lorelai didn't protest. In fact, she didn't stir at all, and that was when he understood that she was truly deeply asleep. He continued to hold her feet in his lap, no longer rubbing them, but sort of petting them lightly while he listened to the evening's scores. When the baseball highlights were over and she was still out, he knew it was time to send her home.

"Hey, Lorelai?" He put his hand on her ankle and gave it a light shake.

No response.

"Lorelai?" He moved his hand up her shin to her knee. He rubbed a soft circle around her kneecap, and his thumb pushed into the more sensitive space behind her knee, gently massaging.

She gave no indication she was aware of anything.

His hand glided up her thigh, stopped at her hip. He stretched out his hand, his fingertips reaching, a burning impulse about what else he could touch bombarding him from out of left field. His hand paused while he swallowed hard. No, she was asleep and he'd never take advantage…but controlling his thoughts was a whole 'nother matter. Deliberately, slowly, he brought his hand back down to her ankle.

He bent over her, getting closer to her face. "Lorelai?" he whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder, giving her a gentle shake.

Her forehead creased and she mumbled something. But then her face relaxed and she went straight back to dreamland.

Luke sat back, pondering what to do. Waking her up just to drag her home so she could go back to sleep seemed incredibly cruel. Like those old jokes about nurses waking patients in the hospital so they could take sleeping pills.

Not certain what to do, Luke got up from the couch, careful not to jostle her too much. He took the things back to the kitchen and cleaned up. Then he came back to the couch, squatting down to watch her sleeping face for a few more minutes. Finally he got back up, still not convinced what was the proper thing to do, and went and pulled the clothes he slept in out of the dresser. Casting one more glance back at the couch, he closed himself into the bathroom and got ready for bed.

When he came back out, she was still zonked out. He turned off lights and pulled the covers down on the bed. Then he went over and stood by the couch again, his hands on his hips.

He knew from experience that the couch was not that comfortable to sleep on. With a determined sigh he bent down, gently snaking one arm behind her head.

She groaned, dismayed, and buried her face into his chest.

"Come on, Sweetheart. It's OK," he murmured soothingly, so intent upon his task that he didn't even noticed he'd called her 'sweetheart' for the first time. He got both arms around and under her and lifted her up, relieved to find out that despite her appalling eating habits, she didn't weigh anywhere near 300 pounds.

She shifted towards him in sleep, instinctively leaning against him, making it easier for him to carry her to the bed.

For the first time he was grateful that the whole thing with Nicole had happened, because if not for her making such a fuss about his bed, he never would have purchased a bigger one. And then there would not have been enough room for Lorelai to share it with him tonight. So finally, something good had come out of that mistake.

He laid her in the bed as easily as he could. She sighed and snuggled down into the pillow, immediately falling back into the deep sleep pattern he'd observed on the couch.

He climbed into bed on the other side, turning the last light off on the table beside him. He pulled the covers up over them both. And then, because he knew he'd never get to sleep if he willed himself to stay away from her, he spooned up behind her, one arm flung over her waist to draw her close. Content, he drifted off to join her in dreamland.

* * *

The alarm went off, blaring loud enough to wake the dead. Or even Lorelai.

"Stop it!" she ordered, groaning. "Make it stop. Must stop noise!"

Luke reached across her, found the off button, and the apartment went mercifully silent. He tried to move back to his side of the bed, but Lorelai grabbed the arm that was stretched across her before he could.

"That was not my alarm," she observed, her voice still thick with sleep.

"No," Luke agreed.

She felt his arm. "This is not my arm, either."

"No, it's not."

She half-opened one eye, scrunching up her face, and looked up at him. "Don't tell me. We finally spent the night together and I missed it."

"Don't worry." He bent down to her, kissed her cheek lightly. "You were incredible."

"Well, duh. Of course. I just kinda wanted to be conscious so I could write about it in my diary." She licked her lips and then managed to open up both eyes. "Luke, what's going on?"

"You fell asleep on the couch and I didn't have the heart to wake you up. So I kept you here."

Her eyes went back to closed and a smile he instinctively knew to be wary of bloomed on her mouth. "You kept me here, huh?" she asked, her voice husky from something besides sleep.

"Yeah." Suddenly he was all too aware of how he was leaning over her and how soft and warm she was. Last night, on the couch, she was asleep and he was safe. But now it was morning, she was awake and sexily tousled and he was already in big trouble. "I thought you needed your sleep," he tried to explain, trying to keep himself focused on something else, anything else besides the woman practically underneath him.

"Always so chivalrous," she murmured, her hands rising up to his face. She rubbed the pads of her thumbs through his whiskers, making him fight for control. "You go one more day without shaving and you might as well commit to a beard."

"I'll shave if you want me to," he promised, willing to agree to absolutely anything at that moment.

"No. I like you scruffy," she whispered, pulling his face down to hers. "I like imagining what this would feel like against me. I like having some of the pretty covered up with the whiskers, so that I'm the only one who knows the whole truth about how handsome you are."

He held back as much as he could while she slowly kissed him, softly licked over his lips, pulled his bottom one into her mouth. His elbows were on either side of her head, to keep most of his weight off of her, so the only thing he could do with his hands was to rub them against her hair. Lorelai's hands, however, were free to roam. She found the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it upwards, exposing half of his back. Her hands glided up and down his bare skin, applying pressure to entice him closer to her.

Restraint broke. He began kissing her, devouring her. Things that he wouldn't dream of telling her in words were nevertheless being communicated through his mouth. He sensed a warning from his body, letting him know that things were soon going to tip over into a place where there would be no way of getting back into control.

Accidentally he'd left a failsafe in place. He'd hit the snooze button before, not the off switch. The alarm blared out again, making Lorelai squeal and jump, and giving him the shock he needed to return to sanity.

Luke reached over and roughly silenced the alarm. This time he rolled over to the other side of the bed, away from the temptation lying beside him.

"God, Luke, why do you have such a nasty alarm?" Lorelai complained, one arm shielding her eyes. "I'm surprised I can't hear that all the way over at my house."

"It's loud to make sure I get up in time to open the diner every single freakin' morning." He sat up and swung his legs over the side, sitting there for a moment, trying to compose himself. "No matter how much I don't want to," he grumbled, mostly to himself.

"That alarm should be taken out into the street and shot."

"Right. I'll take care of it later," he said smartly. "Do you think I'd have to get a permit from Taylor to do that?"

"Probably," she sighed.

Luke got up and walked around to her side of the bed. Already he could see that she was drifting back to sleep. "Hey," he said gently, touching her shoulder. "I'm going to go get ready for work, OK?"

"Mm-hmm." Her eyes didn't open.

He rummaged through the closet and opened a drawer in the dresser, grabbing the clothes he needed for the day before shutting himself into the bathroom. He tried to rush, knowing that the heavenly tussle with Lorelai had put him slightly behind schedule. At the same time he felt sluggish and slow, his motions delayed while he replayed over and over what had just happened. He was trying to be quiet, too, knowing she was still sleeping outside the closed door. Now he was glad that things hadn't progressed any further, because he wasn't sure if she had been fully awake or mostly dreaming. Dreaming about him, true, but dreaming nonetheless.

When he came out of the bathroom, ready to face the day, she was completely zonked out, lying exactly where he'd left her 15 minutes before. He walked over and bent over her, pushing her hair away from her face.

"Lorelai? Hey, Lorelai?" He grasped her shoulder gently but firmly and she peered at him distrustfully through one half-opened eye. "You can stay here and sleep if you want to. That's fine with me. Is that what you want to do?"

She groaned and put her hands over her face, rubbing her eyes. "No," she said petulantly. "I can't. Things to do." She threw the covers back and held out her arms, motioning for him to help pull her up.

Once she was sitting up, huddled on the edge of the mattress, he sat down beside her. "Are you sure? You still seem so tired. You're welcome to stay here and sleep. Tell me when you need to get going and I'll come up and wake you again."

She leaned against him, warm and pliant. He instantly put his arm around her, snuggling her closer. "I can't," she repeated, still sounding grumpy. "I've got meetings all day. I need to get up and get moving."

"OK," he soothed her. He kissed the top of her head. "Then get ready and come down to the diner. I'll make you some extra-strong coffee and fix you breakfast. I left you some clean towels in the bathroom. I doubt that I have anything else that you normally use to get ready, but feel free to borrow anything you need. I wish you could stay," he added wistfully, kissing her head once more.

She pulled away and squinted at him. "Wait. Me already in the diner. That's going to freak out the rumor mill."

Luke snorted. "Probably everybody already figures we're sleeping together. Anyway, does it really matter what anybody thinks? And besides, you've been here so early some mornings, it might not even register."

"Yeah, you're right," she agreed, yawning. "Let 'em think what they think."

"I'll see you downstairs." Luke stood up, still keeping one hand on her shoulder, not wanting to completely give up their connection. He frowned, seeing her eyes slide shut again. "You're awake, right?"

Lorelai clumsily waved a hand. "'Course I am."

Luke still hesitated. "You'll get ready and come downstairs, right? For the coffee?"

"Coffee." Lorelai nodded, but her eyes stayed stubbornly closed. "Right."

"OK." Luke put a hand under her chin, tipped her face up and bent down to lightly kiss her mouth. He felt her smile. "I'll get the coffee going."

"My hero," she murmured, the smile still on her mouth. She struggled to open her eyes, lost the battle, and remained slumped on the edge of the bed.

He walked to the door, pausing before he opened it and walked out. "Lorelai, you're sure you're –"

"Yes, I'm awake!" He'd finally irritated her enough that she sounded more with it. "Go! I'll see you downstairs."

He nodded and hustled down the steps. He was relieved to see that last night's work crew hadn't neglected to do any of the cleaning and morning prep work. There was a chance he could still get the diner's door open in time.

Luke washed his hands and got the coffee going. He mixed up some batter for pancakes and got another bowl set for waffles. He quickened his steps, getting supplies laid out for the morning rush, losing track of time.

He thought he heard something in the dining room and stuck his head out to check. Lorelai was sitting at the counter, still looking half-asleep. Her face was washed clean of makeup. She looked pale and completely exhausted.

"Here." He filled a mug with her preferred strong brew and sat it in front of her.

"Hmm," she sighed, putting her elbow on the counter and propping up her head with her hand. "Thanks," she tried to say, but her voice was still full of gravel and it came out as a noise instead of a complete word.

"Let me know when you're ready to eat." Luke came around the counter and nearly tripped over her bag lying on the floor next to the stool. He pushed it out of the way with his foot, gave her a quick kiss on the side of her head and a reassuring pat, and then went to unlock the front door.

Soon a flock of his normal early-birds were taking their places at the tables and the other stools at the counter, calling out their orders, joshing each other as they opened newspapers or sipped at their first cups of coffee.

"Hungry yet?" Luke checked with Lorelai before he stepped back into the kitchen.

She shook her head, giving him a sort of muddled look that worried him. "Well, let me know when you are," he encouraged her, and then he had to get busy.

He dove into eggs and bacon and pancakes, the minutes flying by. He checked tickets and flipped and fried, running plates out as quickly as he could.

He was waiting for toast to pop up when Tom's voice roared out.

"Luke, get your ass out here!"

Startled, he stuck his head out of the kitchen door, angling to see the counter. "What's the problem?"

Tom was standing behind Lorelai's stool, his arms wrapped snugly around her middle. Her head lolled back against his workshirt.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Luke fumed, storming out into the dining room.

"Keeping her from hittin' the floor!" Tom yelled back. "This is the second time I've caught her. Once more and I'm suing her for sexual harassment!"

Luke stopped for a moment, stunned.

"Get over here!" Tom commanded. "Help me get her to a table."

Shaking off his surprise, Luke hurried over and got his arm around Lorelai, easing her off the stool. Together, he and Tom walked her over to a table and got her settled onto a chair. Lorelai put her arms on the table and laid her head down on them with a sleepy groan.

Tom grabbed his arm and forced him over to the side. "That girl is exhausted!" he hissed at Luke, a finger jabbing him in the chest. "Don't you know how hard she's been working?"

"Of course I do!" Luke hit at the finger jabbing at him, glaring at Tom.

"Supposedly she's got these partners to help her, but I don't see them around much. She's there five times more than they are. She's there in the morning, usually before I even check in. And I know she's stays late at night, because I see what she's done when I get there the next day. She's killing herself to get that place ready to go, don't you see that?"

Luke didn't like hearing his worries confirmed. "I know she's got a lot to do right now. I've been trying to think of some ways to help."

"Help!" Tom leaned in closer, his face looking stormier. "You wanna help, Romeo? How about letting her get some sleep at night? The least you can do is keep your paws off her! Let her get some rest instead of entertaining you all night!"

"I…We're…Now you just hold on a minute!" Appalled and angered, Luke found himself sputtering, trying to refute Tom's accusations. "That is _not _what's going on here!"

"Oh, yeah?" Tom stuck out his chest, looked suspiciously at Luke. "Just where did she sleep last night?"

"Well, she…she slept here, but –"

"_That's_ what I'm talking about!"

"Will you listen to me! That's not what's…We were watching TV and she fell asleep, and I had her sleep here so she'd get _more _sleep, not less! Not that it's any of your business!" Luke spit out the explanation, hating that he felt like he had to.

"Look, I'm not saying I don't understand." Tom put his hands on his hips, dialing back on his belligerence. "She's one good-lookin' gal, and I remember what it was like to be a hot-blooded young stud, and everything's all new and exciting. But can't you at least control yourself until the Dragonfly gets opened? Give her a break."

Luke clenched his jaw, fighting his urge to give Tom a piece of his mind. Instead he decided it might be best to just let him continue with his mistaken beliefs, take his lumps, and get Lorelai home as soon as he could.

"I only want what's best for her," he muttered.

"That's better," Tom said, lightly thumping Luke's arm with his fist. "That's what we all want, right?"

The door opened and Lane stepped in, one of the other morning shift workers right behind her. Lane stopped, staring at Lorelai asleep at the table. "Is she OK?" she asked in true concern.

"She's fine," Luke said curtly. "Listen, can you two take over here for about fifteen minutes? Joe, can you run the grill? Give me time to run her home?"

"Sure," Lane agreed immediately, her anxious gaze still on Lorelai. "What happened? She sat down and fell asleep?"

Tom snorted and went back to his interrupted breakfast.

"Sort of," Luke said, not wanting to divulge too much to Rory's best friend. "I know you'll both be starting a little early, so note it on your timecards, OK? I shouldn't be too long." He went to the counter, picked up Lorelai's purse, and then went to her table and put his arm around her waist, encouraging her to stand up. "You should be able to tell which tickets I've already done. If not, just ask out here. I'm sure Tom will be happy to figure it all for you," he couldn't resist saying sarcastically, while helping Lorelai walk to the door.

"Hey!" Tom growled out in warning.

Lane ran over to the door ahead of them and opened it wide for their exit.

"Hi Lane," Lorelai said, drifting more into consciousness and recognizing her.

"Hi Lorelai. Are you OK?"

Lorelai smiled, her eyes closing as she leaned her head against Luke's upper arm. "Peachy."

"Uh, OK." Lane glanced worriedly at Luke, lowering her voice. "You're going to take care of her, right?"

"He'd better, or he's answering to me." Tom stuck in another two cents' worth from the counter.

Luke rolled his eyes and held his tongue. "I'll be back as soon as I can," he told Lane, and then practically carried Lorelai down the steps, coming to the conclusion that her bag weighed almost as much as she did.

He stopped them beside the truck, fumbling for his keys.

Lorelai spoke up suddenly, the cooler outside air waking her up more. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you home."

"In the truck?"

"That's the plan."

"No," she said, pulling away from him.

"Yes," he said, opening the door.

"No," she said stubbornly. "I need the Jeep. I've got meetings to make this morning. I need my car."

"Oh, geez. Fine!" Luke slammed the truck door closed and maneuvered them down the sidewalk to where the Jeep was parked. When they got there she tried to walk around to the driver's side, but he stopped her.

"No way are you driving." He strong-armed her to the passenger side.

"Wait!" she protested. "Then how are you getting back?"

"I'll walk!" He was getting more and more exasperated over how long it was taking to get her into a vehicle.

"Oh. OK," she nodded, suddenly docile.

"Where are the keys?"

She pointed at the massive pink purse he had slung over his shoulder.

"Oh, for cryin'…" He dove into the depths of the bag, feeling for a keyring.

Lorelai leaned against the Jeep, watching him through lidded eyes. "You know, that's the real way you can tell if it's a serious relationship. It's not if he wants to get into her pants. It's if he's willing to get into her purse."

"Great. Now that smartass mouth of yours wakes up." He found the keys, opened the door and helped her inside, throwing her purse into her lap. "Where was that sharp tongue when I needed help with Tom?" He shut the door firmly, went around to the other side.

"What about Tom?" Lorelai asked, confused.

"Never mind," Luke said bleakly, firing up the Jeep.

"Sorry," Lorelai offered, once they'd pulled away from the curb. She leaned her head back against the seat, closing her eyes once more. "I just seem to be having a real problem staying awake this morning."

"I know." Luke leaned over, put his hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze. "I'm sorry too. I know how tired you are. I should have never let you come in with me last night."

"Don't be ridiculous. I wanted to be there with you." She struggled to sit up straight and blinked her eyes against the daylight. "I'll go home, take a shower. I'll be good as new."

He glanced over at her. "Are you sure you can't get some more shut-eye? Maybe you could reschedule whatever you've got planned today."

"No, if I don't make it into Hartford today and make the final decision on the linens, I don't know when I'll be able to do it." She gave him a spunky, albeit tired smile. "I'll be fine."

Luke sighed, not wanting to voice his concerns to her again. Her house came into view and he pulled into the spot in front of the garage.

He knew he needed to get back to the diner as quickly as he could, but having a few extra minutes to spend with her made him extraordinarily happy. Even his irritation at Tom couldn't take away the pleasure of being in her company during a time of day when he should be doing nothing more exciting than scrambling eggs.

They got out of the Jeep and he met her in front of the vehicle, putting his arm around her to guide her up the steps to the porch. He gave her shoulders a hug, satisfied to be with her.

Since he still had the keys in his hand, he opened up the door, then dropped them back into her bag. She smiled and nodded at him.

"Thanks again, Luke, for bringing me home. Sorry I disrupted your day."

"It's not a problem." He reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, kneading it gently. Unexpectedly the memory of coming home last night filled his mind, and he pictured her asleep in the Jeep. He felt like he needed to mention her vigil, her kindness in waiting for him. "And I want you to know –" His throat suddenly closed up on him. He cleared it, started again. "I want to thank you for –" It happened again, the feeling that he was choking. His eyes were stinging. He looked down, shaking his head, coughing a little bit to clear his senses.

"Luke?" Lorelai was looking at him in some alarm. "Are you OK?"

"Sure," he fibbed, even though his heart was pounding and the unusual pressure was still building behind his eyes. His throat was clogged. That emotion he'd briefly sensed last night, which was accompanied by the fear that he'd be overwhelmed by it if he let it take hold, was proving true. It'd snuck in this time when he wasn't on guard against it, made itself at home and was now doing its best to break free. He fought it, though. He'd put on a façade of being a tough guy for so many years, the guy who didn't need anybody watching over him. Lorelai was used to him being strong, strong enough to take care of her. He didn't want her to see that wasn't always true.

He took a deep breath, deciding to try once more. "What you did last night –" His words choked off again. He could only look down, shaking his head, fighting against his emotions.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Lorelai's voice was sharp, and he could tell that sleep had completely fled her now. She put both of her hands on his arms, holding him tightly. "What did I do? Luke, if I did something stupid, please tell me!"

He looked at her, defeated, having no choice but to let her see the tears in his eyes. He couldn't stand to have her think she'd done anything wrong. She'd done nothing but be her normal self: kind, and warm, and generous. What an idiot he was, to think that she'd treat him any differently if they began a relationship.

He saw the shock on her face, but he grabbed her and held her close, dropping his head down onto hers, powerless to stop the few tears that squeezed out.

"Oh, Luke. Sweetie." She hugged him desperately for a moment, then managed to push open the door with her hip and drag him inside, saving him the humiliation of any early-rising neighbors witnessing his breakdown.

He fought for control, rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Sorry," he said hoarsely. "Don't know why I'm losing it like this."

"It's OK," she said cautiously, moving a soothing hand up and down his back. "Do you want some water?"

He shook his head. "No. Just let me say this. Let me get it out." He took her hand in his, studied it instead of watching her face. "Last night, finding you waiting for me like that… It's been…well, it's been a really, really long time since anybody's watched for me like that. A long time since anyone's cared if I was OK. A long time since anyone's wanted to take care of me. Not since my mom…" He chanced looking up and saw that she was staring at him wide-eyed. He ducked his head again. "It meant a lot to me," he managed to say. He folded her into his arms, hoping that maybe she could feel what he was trying to say, even if the right words weren't rolling off his tongue. "You have no idea how much it meant to me," he whispered to her.

She wrapped her arms around him and held him tightly. "Luke, even if we hadn't been dating, I would have come by to check on you. That's what friends do. I wouldn't want you to have to go through a day like yesterday on your own."

"I know. I know that about you. That's why you're amazing."

"Well, yeah. I _thought_ you knew that," she said teasingly, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

"I should have." He put his hand on her cheek, caressed it tenderly. "I should have known. You've given me enough examples over the years."

Lorelai put her thumbs under his eyes, carefully wiped away a tear track or two. "You're amazing, too, you know. I mean, wow, just your eyelashes alone are amazing. All I'm doing is trying to keep up."

He solemnly shook his head, not ready to stop being serious. "I'm in, Lorelai. I'm all in. I always have been. I was lying to myself before, trying to pretend that I could somehow back out of this thing with you. I can't. It doesn't matter how you feel about me or how this ends up eventually. I'm in. I want this. I want you. And I'll do whatever it takes to make you see that."

Lorelai drew in a sharp breath, her eyes darting back and forth between his. "Oh, Luke, me too. I'm in. I want this too. I want to be the one watching for you to come back home every night. I'm here. I'll always be here for you. You _can _trust me. You can," she insisted brokenly.

"I'm so sorry I ever said that." He pushed his hands through her hair, laid his forehead against hers. "Please, can you forget I ever said that?"

"No, I'm glad you did." Now her voice was the one choking up. "I realized a few days ago this wasn't about proving anything to you. It was about proving it to me. I needed to see how much I cared about you. I needed to see how much I wanted you to be a part of my life. And I do. I do, so much."

"Good, because I'm here," he murmured to her, not letting go. "I'm here. I'm here."

They held each other for a long time, eventually starting to sway gently back and forth.

"This is it, right?" Lorelai finally asked. "We're together now, right? We're a…a couple?"

"You bet we are," Luke confirmed, turning his face to kiss the side of hers.

"And the next time we spend the night together, I'm going to be awake for it, right?"

A grin broke over Luke's face. "If I have anything to say about it, absolutely."

She drew away slightly, trying to pull off an innocent look. "I'm awake now," she pointed out. "Do you have to go back to the diner right away?"

He tried not to react to the delicious thrill _that_ idea caused to race through him. "Sorry, but you know I do."

She sighed, and snuggled against him again. "Yeah, I know," she said dejectedly.

"But I'll see you soon," he promised.

"But how _much_ of me will you see?" she inquired mischievously.

"Enough," he answered, trying to put a cap on her suggestiveness. But then he undid his calming efforts by kissing her goodbye.

"I've got to go," Luke said reluctantly, moving towards the door. "I'm worried that if I stay away any longer, Kirk will have made himself at home behind the counter."

Lorelai pretended to shudder. "Then go. Fly like the wind! Don't let Kirk desecrate that most sacred of places!"

He took the time at the door, though, to hug her tightly and give her one more swift kiss.

"I'll be by later," she promised, leaning against the doorframe, watching him leave.

"Sounds good." He smiled and descended the steps, intending to cut across her lawn, heading back to town. One last thought made him pause, and he turned back again. "Oh, and if Tom says anything sort of…unusual…to you, just ignore him, OK?"

"Tom?" Lorelai lifted her shoulders questioningly. "What would he say?"

"Never mind. I'll explain later." He began to stride across the grass, giving her a backwards wave.

"Luke, wait!"

He stopped and turned to see what she wanted, and she was right there, having run across the yard to stop him. He started to question her, but before he could say anything she'd thrown her arms around his neck.

"I'm just so happy," she told him, her eyes shining.

"Me too," he agreed.

"OK, that's all," she laughed. "I just wanted to make that clear." She pecked his lips and sort of skipped backwards to the house, waving at him the whole way.

Luckily Luke's legs knew how to get back to the diner on their own, because his brain was too busy trying to get used to the rare feeling of happiness that was now enveloping him completely.

* * *

**DFC says:** Hope you liked reading this as much as I loved writing it. I was thinking that I might take a small break from this story and go see if I can get reacquainted with a certain sheriff and boardinghouse proprietress. Wish I could do both stories at once, but I write slowly and one chapter of anything pretty much takes up all of the free time I have for two weeks. If you have an opinion, let me know!


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